Page 19 of Holiday Promise
“Because it certainly seems like you’re more concerned with Max needing to form an attachment to a new nanny.” She let out a dry chuckle. “And here I thought that something stronger had started to develop. I thought you cared for me.”
He threw his head back and glared at her. “Of course I care for you.” The way he sputtered, his response sounded more forced than anything else. “Why would you even suggest such a thing?”
Her face flushed hot. She wanted to point out just how distant he’d become. It was harder than she’d thought it would be to throw caution to the wind and enjoy a fling over Christmas. Her heart had grown to care for him in ways that most would deem inappropriate. Now, she was suffering with the consequences of those actions and all she wanted was for the pain to stop. Blake might care for her, but he cared for Ms. Anthony as well. He wasn’t heartless.
Melody blinked back the pain and forced a smooth expression. “You know what? I’ve heard of stranger rules for people working for different companies. If ice skating is on your list, then you won’t find me here alone.” She watched in real time as relief washed over him. His stance relaxed and, if she wasn’t mistaken, a small smile touched his lips.
Why wouldn’t it? He’d gotten his way.
She turned away from him as she picked up her skates. “But I’ve come to the conclusion on something else that is rather important.” Her stomach churned painfully, her heart fluttered like it had been a bird shot from the sky. Legs weak and head dizzy, she glanced over her shoulder at her boss. “We need to step back from the familiarity we’ve lapsed into.”
Blake’s brows pulled together and his skin drained of color. “What?”
“You and I both know where this was going to end—this romantic thing we had going. Already, it’s been shifting into something else… phasing out, I suppose.”
“Melody—”
“It’s fine. It was fun while it lasted. But we have to accept what it was.”
Blake’s expression had grown darker. His jawline had tightened along with every visible muscle. She could understand why he wouldn’t want her to be the one to make this change. Blake was a powerful man. He liked making the rules for the games he played. In all likelihood, he wanted to be the one who broke things off with her. Well, that was too bad. He didn’t get to have this one.
She took in a deep, shuddering breath. “People have flings all the time and they can still work together. If you want me to continue being Max’s nanny, I will. But I don’t think it would be wise for the two of us to see each other again, not intimately.”
He didn’t move, didn’t respond to her statement. For a moment, she wondered if he’d short-circuited. The man probably never had anyone tell him what to do a day in his life. She’d done a lot of that lately. Maybe it would be for the best to just quit right here and now. Then they wouldn’t have to deal with seeing one another anymore.
The thought was tempting. She already knew her heart wasn’t going to take the breakup well. Even though it was smart to do this now—do it early—her heart continued to rebel. All she wanted to do was throw herself into his arms and tell him she didn’t want anything to change. She loved him.
Tears stung her eyes, and she spun away from him. “I’m going to return my skates. Then I’ll follow you home.” She hurried away before he could argue with her. She didn’t want him making excuses for why they should still see each other for the time remaining before the holiday.
Their fling had been too short. It had been a whirlwind and something she’d wished could have lasted. Her love for Blake had been unexpected, but more than she could have ever anticipated. Nothing would compare to it for years to come—a fact she couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or terrible.
She had to push these thoughts out of her mind. Blake was simply unattainable. He was out of reach. There was no use longing for something that would never come to be.
TWELVE
Blake locked himself in his office for the next couple of days. He didn’t think he’d be able to see Melody face to face without pulling her aside and telling her she was wrong. Misery didn’t begin to describe how he felt. Each beat of his heart was pure and utter agony. He’d only felt this way once before in his life and that was when he’d lost Alison.
Now that the pain from that loss had subsided, this new ache almost had more intensity.
He couldn’t avoid his son, and that meant doing his best to plan outings with just the two of them. But it didn’t stop Blake from hearing Melody’s voice and wishing things were different. It didn’t stop his heart from crumbling when he saw her from across the room.
This is what she wanted, he reminded himself. She didn’t want to be stuck in a relationship with him. Who would? He had been controlling. He’d always been that way. Alison had told him that he needed to learn to be more flexible and he’d brushed her off.
He sat at his desk with his head in his hands, failing miserably at keeping his mind off of Melody. The worst part was that he knew exactly where he’d gone wrong. Melody didn’tlike being put in a cage. She didn’t want to be controlled by the person who loved her. The problem was, he couldn’t see a future where she wouldn’t feel that way.
Melody was a free spirt. Blake would always be the CEO of a major company. They were simply too different.
Lifting his head to the soft knock at the door, he braced himself for seeing Melody enter. Instead, Max came darting inside. He bounced on his toes with excitement. “Dad can we go yet?”
Melody stood in the doorway, making it hard to concentrate. His eyes locked with hers and she shifted uncomfortable. They hadn’t spoken of anything other than Max for the last couple of days and he found he missed their conversations more than he’d thought possible.
“Dad, Dad, Dad,” Max continued.
Blake dragged his gaze to his son. “What did you want to do?”
“Dad,” Max groaned. “You promised me you’d take me to see Santa today. So can we go yet? We can get hot chocolate.”
He chuckled despite his wounded heart. “I can take you when my work is done. It’s going to be a little while yet. I’m sure Melody can entertain you until I’m ready.”