Page 20 of Sins & Paradise

"Seminary school? Like you were a nun?" I nearly shout.

"Lord no, I never took my vows. My father only wanted me to have the ideals, not the responsibilities. Especially since he'd already given me away. Without my knowledge, of course." Angela smiled wide, and suddenly I figure out why I'm so damn intent on protecting this woman.

She's pure. Even if she's been through some things, everything about her is pure. A goodness that I haven't seen around in such a long time. A goodness I know for damn sure I don't deserve.

"So, do you believe what I did earlier was a sin?" I ask, leaning back in the chair, getting more and more comfortable with the idea that I may not be able to give her up even when all this is over. I've never fallen for anyone as quickly as I'm getting attached to Angela.

"Of course. You harmed that man. You harmed all three of them," she whispers.

"True, I did, but can you think about all the people that they would have harmed had I done nothing? Think of all the other shopkeepers who won't be robbed or assaulted because the three people who might have thought to do so are now in the hospital. Who knows, maybe this near-death experience is just what they need to get their lives on the right road. What if they now become the change that everyone is so desperately hoping for? Not everything is as cut and dry as it's written in some of these holy books."

She squints her eyes and looks off to the side. "I know. I've had many impure thoughts, and I don't think it makes me an evil person. I just know there's a limit."

"Impure thoughts?" I whisper and lean forward slightly. I would set my own hand on fire to know all the impure thoughts this woman has in her head. "What kind of thoughts?"

"Mostly about the people back home. I wished them dead. I wished that someone would find them and force them to leave me alone. I wished that they didn't even know me. I want them to hurt, but I'm not strong enough to do it on my own." She folds her hands in her lap, and I can tell that she's having a hard time with this.

"Do you believe that all those who sin are evil people?" I ask just to get an idea of how she views me.

"No." She looks up at me, and her hazel eyes spark with something like mischievousness. I want her to look at me like that all the time. "I don't think you're evil, if that's what you're getting at. I think what you do might be excessive, but maybe it's a necessary evil? I can't judge."

"In this world, it is a necessary evil. If I didn't have to do it, I wouldn't."

She turns her head to the side, and I see a small speck of dirt smudged on the side of her face. I reach over to wipe it away and catch her off guard. The moment my fingers make contact with her skin, she gasps and her eyes focus back on me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." I drop my head for a second before lifting it back up. "I'm a little confused about something. You said you spent a majority of your time in seminary school, but you also said that you had a fiancé. Did you just never meet him before, or how did that work? Did you two date?"

"We dated after I came home, but it was already set in stone that I was to marry him. Apparently, my father and brother think it's a good match." Her voice gets softer and softer as the moments pass by.

"But you don't?" I ask, and she shakes her head.

"He beat me. Made me feel bad about just being me. I was only there to serve him. He didn’t care about anything that I liked.” She whispers and I feel my heart banging against my chest.

"¿Qué te prende? Tell me what you like." I whisper, and I'm surprised when I feel her move in closer to me. Surely I'm reading too much into this. Can she really be feeling as strongly as I am? Is she as confused about all this as I am?

"I like the way you're touching me," she admits, and every last ounce of self-control I have withers away as I grab hold of the back of her neck and slowly tug her forward until her mouth is pressed against mine. It feels like my first breath of air after being suffocated for so long. My entire body sizzles with need and intensity. Our lips meld and shift with one another, and when I nip at her bottom lip, she opens up for me, and I explore her tongue with mine.

"Oh... Lobo," she mutters against my lips, but it's not practiced. This is more of a shock to her. I'm sure she wasn't expecting whatever we were doing to feel as good as it does, and neither was I. In fact, I never really cared for kissing women. It's only because I know it helps get them off that I do it. But when it comes to Angela, I could sit here all day and kiss her silly.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself. The raging hard cock in my pants is saying something completely different. I want her. I want all of her, and I want her now.

I push her backwards, and at first, she allows me to, but before her back can touch the mattress, she stiffens and goes cold. The shockwave of her sudden change ripples through me.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"I can't. I shouldn't." She doesn't even look at me. I put my fingers under her chin and lift her face so she can look into my eyes.

"We never have to do anything you don't want to do. I don't know what happened with your ex, but I'm not him. I'll never force you to do anything you're not comfortable with." She breathes a sigh of relief, and then it hits me like a ton of bricks that she actually thought I was going to force her.

"Wait, is that what happened? Did he force himself on you?" I do my best to keep my voice even.

Her eyes drop again, but this time I let her look away. Whatever she has to do to get through this, I’ll allow. "He didn't want to wait for the wedding night. I'd tried to push off the wedding. I didn't want to get married to someone who was so cruel. I went to my father and brother thinking they'd help me get away from him, but they didn't want to hear it. When Miguel figured out that I was trying to get away, he grew irate. He beat me, and he..." Her voice cracks, and I fist my hand on the bed next to me. I'm trying my absolute hardest not to show any hostile emotions, but I can almost read her mind.

"He forced himself on me. My brother and father watched, then they left me there in a pool of my own blood. I snuck out the window and ran away. That's how I ended up here. That's why I keep looking over my shoulder. They're going to find me. I know they are." The tears spill down her cheeks, and my heart seizes in my chest.

To think I didn't want to get involved with what was going on in her life. I thought I was too jaded to put myself out there again. If I'd known how badly she was hurting and how much she just needed anyone, I'd have come straight to her the first day we showed up back on the island. Someone like Angela should never have to go through what she went through.

I pull her into a hug and kiss the side of her head. I'm hurting to be with her, but right now, that's not what she needs. Right now, she needs me to support her, to let her know that she's not in this alone—and she's not.