Page 17 of Healing Hope

Paul nodded. It had been that way since they’d gotten her. And compared to how Hope had been before, she’d come miles in opening up. “Thank you for letting me know,” Paul said, looking down at his half-eaten meal.

“I don’t know if Tara met dealers at the park, or what, but Hope has very vivid traumatic memories of being left behind in one. Or several. That detail I couldn’t pin down.”

He shook his head, feeling slightly defeated. “I just don’t know. I knew she’d been addicted to drugs years ago, but she was digging herself out of the hole when I met her. She’d just gotten a job and was taking college classes. I had no hint she was a user.”

Jess sighed, lifting one foot to the seat of the chair and wrapping her arms around her knee. “And to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she wasn’t a user at first. Maybe that came later. Regardless, Hope has memories of it.”

“I’ll send an email to her counselor before her session tomorrow.”

Jess nodded, resting her cheek on her upraised knee. Her tawny hair fanned out around her, and he wanted to reach out and stroke it. She looked so sweet, sitting there looking at him like that. “Finish your dinner,” she urged, smiling gently.

Paul looked down at the food and realized that he was still hungry, even though he was angry. Tara had ruined so much for them. Deliberately, he took a bite of the vegetables and chewed. They were just as delicious as the pork. The two of them sat there quietly together as he finished his meal. He didn’t feel like she was watching him awkwardly cut his meat or anything. She was just there for companionship, which he appreciated.

Jessamy Swan was a conundrum to him. As beautiful as she was, she should grace runways or strut across movie screens. Instead, she was here with them, trying to straighten out their ridiculously complicated lives. And so far, she’d gotten further with Hope than he had. It was hard knowing that if he’d had his way, he would have kicked her out that first day. He was so glad she’d argued with him.

“So, what are my options?” he asked.

She sighed and lifted her brows at him. “Well, just be aware that follow-thru is important with her. If you say you’re going to do something, you’d better do it. She expects disappointment, and whether she can articulate it or not, she’ll remember, and be heartbroken.”

Paul nodded. He already knew that. It was why he was so careful when he spoke to her in the mornings before he left for work. Today he’d told her they would play with the dog when he got home, but that hadn’t worked. “I had an emergency at La Jolla, and couldn’t make it home before her bedtime.”

Jess nodded. “Tell her what happened in the morning. But just be aware that she’s five. In her world, everything revolves around her, and all slights are to her.”

“Yeah, I’ve figured that out already,” he grumbled.

Jess chuckled and rested her hand on his own again, giving it a squeeze. Would she do that to his other one? The prosthetic side? He wasn’t sure if she would or not. Regardless, he took it for what it was. A sympathetic touch.

Something made him turn his hand over, though, and suddenly there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room to breathe. He glanced at Jess. If he let her go quickly, they could go on like it hadn’t happened. Yeah, that was the smarter option. Giving her fingers a squeeze, he let her hand go, because he wasn’t prepared for where things could go.

* * *

It surprisedJess when he turned the tables and squeezed her hand, then disappointed her when he let her go. Damn, she thought she might have broken through that upright crustiness he had. It had taken several days for her to just sit down beside him and get him used to her little touches. It was her nature to be touchy and not everyone responded well to that, but she was willing to be patient.

In spite of what Carolina thought, Jess didn’t sleep with men willy-nilly. There had to be a reason, an emotion, attached. And Paul, whether he realized it or not, was plucking at her heartstrings as hard as Hope was. The two of them together were really giving her emotions a workout.

When he’d squeezed her hand, a ridiculous little thrill raced through her, and it was so unexpected it made her draw in a heavy draught of air. What the hell was going on?

The man was a workhorse. That much was obvious. What was also obvious was that his heart was the size of a workhorse. He cared for everyone, though his gruff manner didn’t always show it. Jess could see the worry in his eyes as he mentioned the crisis at the hospital, and the outrage on behalf of his daughter’s predicament. He wanted to take care of everyone.

So, that was why he’d been shocked when she’d set the plate in front of him. Paul Jameson was the man that took care of people. He was never the one asking for or expecting help or care. Since he’d hired her to look after Hope, he didn’t expect her to care for him at all.

Which caused Jess, a closeted nurturer, to want to do more for him. She could see the tiredness in the lines around his eyes and around his mouth. He’d frowned a lot today. And she wanted to ease that tiredness. Potentially dangerous, but there it was.

To sidetrack herself, she pushed to her feet, removing his plate and carrying it to the sink. She rinsed it off and put the dishes into the washer, then used a rag to wipe everything down. Which she’d already done before he got home.

“I might go take a shower and get ready for bed,” he murmured, pushing to his feet.

Jess turned and leaned back against the sink. Yes, the sooner he got out of here, the less likely she was to make a fool of herself. “Okay. And Paul?”

“Yes?” he asked tiredly.

“There’s nothing you could have done,” she said simply.

He grimaced and she knew that’s what he would be beating himself up over tonight as he tossed and turned in bed. Every night she could hear him moving around, and she wondered if he ever slept the night through. Or actually achieved deep REM sleep. If he did, it wasn’t for very long. She’d heard him cry out, and she wondered what he would do if she walked into his room at those times. Probably be embarrassed beyond belief and kick her out of his house.

Her heart ached when she heard him cry out, though, and it took everything in her not to make it awkward as hell between them.

Maybe he needed exercise before bed in order to sleep deeply, she thought, and fought not to blush. Paul was not the type to respond to her sexy cajoling, and she needed to remember where that line was. He definitively did not look at her in that way. She was the temporary babysitter, nothing more.