Page 24 of Healing Hope
He sighed as he looked her in the eye. “Yes, but they make me feel… vulnerable. And I can’t do that right now.”
“I’m the only one here to see you that way,” Jess told him softly. “And I promise I will only check on you the suggested two hour checks.”
Paul grimaced and she knew it wasn’t much of an argument.
“Okay, how about this then? You need to be in shape to take care of your daughter. That guy won’t dare come back here today. Take some pain pills and get some good rest early. Hope and Sophie are sleeping and I’m going to take a nap myself soon.”
She could tell he was wavering, listening to her words. She let the silence stretch, hoping his need to care for his daughter would kick in.
“Fine,” he grumbled. “I’ll take the pills. But you are not to interfere if I… react to them.”
She knew what he meant, but she wanted to clarify. “Do you think they’ll affect your dreams? Or provoke flashbacks?”
“I don’t know,” he said cautiously. “It has in some patients in our facility.”
Jess cocked a hip before him. “I will check on you every two hours, and I will note if you’re reacting to the medication. I’ve done clinicals with vets before, so I know what to look for.”
He glanced up at her in surprise, brows furrowed. “You have? Where?”
Jess grinned. “Johns Hopkins in Maryland. I wasn’t lying when I said I had a psychology degree floating around.”
“I think I need to just quit being surprised by you,” Paul murmured, and Jess laughed.
When she shook out the pills, though, and put them in his real, bandaged hand, he grimaced. But he managed to pop them into his mouth and hold the bottle of water to swallow them down. Then he held out that hand to keep her from leaving.
“If I’m struggling, don’t touch me. I don’t want to hurt you.”
Jess smiled at him. “I won’t let you hurt me. I promise. But you need to get some sleep. We all do. And you need to heal. Do you want me to take your prosthetic off?”
He seemed to debate for a long moment. “I’ll keep it on for now.”
“And your sweats?”
Before they’d left for the hospital, he’d pulled on some sweatpants over his boxers. Sighing, he stood and very slowly peeled his sweatpants down. Jess moved around him to pull the sheet and blanket back so that he could climb in. It also gave her something to look at other than his strong legs covered in dark hair.
“I don’t like being babied,” he mumbled.
Jess snorted. “Then you haven’t been babied correctly. I’ll take care of you and I won’t demasculinize you in the process. Okay?”
Paul grimaced, but nodded, and moved to lay back on the bed. He hissed out a breath when he finally settled, and she draped the blankets over his legs and lower body.
“Jess,” he said softly.
She looked at Paul, and was caught by the appreciation in his blue eyes. “I know this isn’t what you signed up for, and I swear to you I will find a replacement as soon as I can.”
That statement hurt for some reason, and she glanced away. “I know you will, Paul.”
Resting her hand on his hair for just a moment, she gave him a slight smile before turning away from the bed. Crossing to the window, she dropped the blinds, then draped a light blanket over the window, completely blacking it out.
“Thank you, Jess. I didn’t realize how much that was hurting my head.”
She smiled as she walked out the door, closing it softly behind her. Walking a few feet down the hallway, she checked on Hope. She could hear light breathing from the bed, and knew Hope was out as well. The man in black hadn’t broken Hope’s bedroom window. It had apparently been unlocked, and he’d just pushed it open. She’d locked the window, then propped a wooden dowel in the window as tight as she could to prevent Hope from opening it. Then she blacked out the room, but left a tiny nightlight burning near the attached bathroom doorway. Jess retreated, closing the door behind her.
Then she just stood in the hallway, breathing, waiting, for some hint that something was off or someone needed attention. They’d set the alarm as soon as they’d walked in the door. The house was silent, though, and she finally allowed herself to go to her own room. She climbed onto her mattress, laying on top of the covers, and pulled out her cellphone. Setting an alarm for two hours, she allowed her eyes to drift closed, but she didn’t fall off immediately. There was too much swimming through her brain.
She’d had this feeling before. Every time her mother had delivered a new baby, it had been Jess’s responsibility to take care of the other children, and they’d taken a lot of attention. Her mother was a serious worker, and Jess had always appreciated her abilities more after every child she’d borne. She couldn’t imagine everything her mother had done to care for them every day.
This situation felt a little similar, but different as well. This time there was a… connectedness to what was going on. In spite of her determination to not get attached, she was getting attached. When his secretary mentioned hiring a woman to replace her, something inside her had rebelled, and she’d wanted to argue. She was becoming possessive of the Jamesons, which meant she needed to move on.