Page 47 of My Alien Jewel
Switching my suit back to the default view, I’m a little sad to see the colors disappear but much more focused on walking since I can actually see where I’m going again. The galaxy around me goes back to being black and lifeless, billions of stars silently watching my every step.
It’s peaceful out here. Yet, so lonely. Even now, my crystals are singing out for Nikolai, wanting me to be closer to him. I bet that even if I found myself thousands of light years away, orbiting one of those tiny stars I can just make out from here, I’d still crave his presence and my crystals would still resonate for him. And something inside of him would sing back to me.
I don’t know how but it feels as if his body mirrored the song of my crystals. We resonated together as we kissed, touched and soared to the greatest height of our orgasms. It’s like we’re tuned to each other and he’s not even Silithrae! If he was, I’d almost say that…
Realization hits me so hard I’m surprised it hasn’t knocked me off the damned ship. I stop walking, unable to focus on anything other than the one thought currently dominating my mind.
If he were Silithrae, I’d say he was my crystal kin. The one and only person in the galaxy who was meant for me, meant to be my partner. The father of my children. The one person with whom I actually could have children with. Instantly.
I place a gloved hand over the suit covering my flat stomach. Crystal kin conceive during their first mating. Always.
My heart is trying to jump out of my chest again and this time, it’s not because I’m running. I can’t move. I know I’m in the killzone, I know the radiation is currently flowing through every cell in my body, but I’m too stunned to take a single step.
Nikolai is my crystal kin.
It shouldn’t be possible. I’ve never heard of anyone having a mate from a different species. Short-term acquaintances, yes, but not the deep connection of a crystal kin. It shouldn’t be possible! Nikolai is as carbon-based as they get, while I’m…not. Well, not completely.
It shouldn’t be possible, yet I know it’s true. I’ve always been told that I’ll know when I meet my crystal kin. I’ll sing for him and he’ll sing for me. We’ll be drawn together by an irresistible urge. We’ll have beautiful Silithrae babies together.
I press down harder against my stomach, terror engulfing me. If Nikolai is my crystal kin, then I’m pregnant right now. I’m fucking pregnant and standing in deadly radiation like an idiot. Fuck.
I take off, moving at the quickest pace the magnetic boots allow, no longer paying attention to the pain in my side or the aching in my lungs. None of it matters now. I have to get back to safety.
Fuck! I never should have gone out in the first place! Have I killed our baby already?
Allowing myself a little hope, I remember that Silithrae babies grow up surrounded by a crystalline shell that protects them from nearly everything. They inherit all of our strengths, including the resistance to radiation. But our baby is half human, which means that all expectations are off. It could already be irreversibly damaged. I could have already destroyed the one good thing I could bring into this terrible world.
A whimper tears through my throat.
“Z’Ree?” Nikolai’s voice is drowned in crackling and static but I can hear his concern. “... … … … Z’Ree.”
He says something more, I think he’s asking if I’m alright. “I’m fine,” I tell him, sniffling. I raise my hand to wipe my nose and bang into the helmet again. Stupid suit. “I’m coming back. Don’t come out after me!”
I know him well enough to know that he’s ready to jump out of the airlock and come find me. Without a suit, just holding his breath and roughing it through the freezing vacuum of space. Then I wouldn’t just be killing my baby, but its father, too.
Father. Fuck.
We’ve known each other for how long, three days? My people know that crystal kin are meant for each other and are ready to start a family immediately after meeting but I have the distinct feeling humans are very different. He loves me, but loving someone and having a baby with them are two very different things.
Will he be angry? Disappointed? Will he think that I got pregnant on purpose to bind him to me? I wouldn’t blame him for thinking that.
What if the baby dies, thanks to my stupid stunt? How could he ever love me after that?
I’m such a mess.
Stumbling, my feet fail to connect with the ship’s hull. For the longest second of my life, I hover just above the surface, attached to nothing. Just as I’m about to scream out in terror, a railing comes into view. I grab for it. My gloved fingers slip, but I gain enough momentum to propel myself back down to the ship’s surface then promptly lock my magnetic boots in place.
“Fuck. Fuckity fuck,” I pant, my heart hammering in my chest. My poor heart has had a thorough workout today, it seems. “One step at a time, Z’Ree,” I admonish myself. I may be in a hurry to get out of here but I don’t want to float away from the ship and get pulled into the neutron star.
Being far more careful, I continue walking at a more moderate pace, hoping I’m heading in the right direction.
The ship is massive. I feel like a tiny bug crawling up a giant cliff. One would expect the hull to be smooth but it’s not, not completely at least. There are various sensors and vents sticking out, weapons arrays, thrusters and other appendages I have no name for. It’s easy to get turned around.
Keeping the dark patch of the neutron star to my right side, I continue forward. After seeing the radiation, it’s impossible not to imagine those waves permeating through my skin, corrupting my cells, my DNA. A shudder runs through me at the thought. Am I dying already? How far away is the stupid airlock?! Have I been going in the wrong direction?
“Z’Ree, are you … here? Z’Ree?” D’Aakh’s concerned voice comes through my comm. “... your position?”
Finally, I see the open airlock door. Picking up the pace, I concentrate on my steps, always keeping one foot locked on the ship. I don’t want to drift away when I’m this close. “Almost there,” I huff into my comm. “I can see the airlock.”