Page 12 of Master A-0011

“Oil.”

“So, you’re influenced as well.” It wasn’t a question as he got quiet. “But you’re not acting like the others who were on it. You don’t want me. It’s obvious you don’t, so why does that make me want you more? You’ve never,” he mumbled, cursing as he kept his position. “You’ve never been with a man? Never been kissed or touched?” His hand shot up. “Don’t answer that, although…fuck. Pearl. Pearl. Why does that sound so familiar? I don’t usually enjoy virgins. Maybe it would be different with you. Or. No. I should help you up so we can wake theb. I know I should but…”

But a change was happening in my Master as he mumbled, and I saw it as the green of his eyes darkened. Seconds passed. A minute. His jaw repeatedly tensed as his face searched mine. He was back to dipping his finger in the hollowness of my shoulder, and for the life of me, I couldn’t stop breathing out of my mouth. The tingling that covered my skin made me want to scream. To beg for things I couldn’t begin to imagine.

“I can wake her. If you could move. You said yourself. You know…I don’t want this.”

I went to scramble when Ethan’s hand flattened on my chest, and he slammed me back to lay on the bed.

“You should have kept quiet.”

“Master, please. Not this. Not with me.”

“I know what I want. I’m not going to be miserable, skirting around you, Pearl. If I.” He stopped. “If we just get this over with it’ll pass. I was never good with rejection. I’m worse withtemptation. My life is restrictive. Strict. I deny myself too much. When I actually do want something.” His hands hooked behind my knees, jerking me closer to the edge as he fitted himself over me. “I take it. It’s been months since I’ve wanted anyone, and fuck if I don’t want you right now.”

My head shook. “You don’t. Not really. You’re drunk. You’re influenced, like you said. That’s what it is. You’ll wake up tomorrow and wish you never—You’ll be sick when you think back on the memories.”

Had my voice cracked? The tears were sure there, even if I didn’t understand them. This ache in my chest. How could a void need and want so much? How could it crave something so stupid? Ethan O’Brien? He was what women dreamed of. Worse, he was a fucking cannibal,and he wanted me. To eat me? I should have disappeared like the otherb. I should be running, but all I was doing was trying to stop myself from rubbing against him as he pushed his weight forward.

“You don’t know me, Pearl.”

“I don’t have to. I know the truth. How could you want to do this? How could anyone? I can’t even understand how you’re looking at me. Order me to kill for you. To cook for you, and I will. Just…stop.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Please.”

The sob did leave me then, and I couldn’t stop the tears that exploded out like a broken faucet, but with them, frustration was building. Rejection was a sure thing come morning. That was hard enough. That it would be with a man I couldn’t escape; Ethan O’Brien, no less, made it harder. That he could eat me was the sugar on top.

“I’m going to kiss you, and you’re not going to stop me.”

“What happens if I try?”

A small laugh left him, and his hands came up to each side of my face. His thumb mindlessly traced the scar along my cheekbone as his gaze stayed on my lips.

“If you try to stop me, I’ll take it anyway. Then you ruin any good memory of your first kiss. But you could kiss me back and make it something worth remembering. What if it’s great?”

“What if you bite my lip off?”

Ethan’s stare broke, and his gaze jumped to mine. The laugh that left him wasn’t what I’d been expecting. I had been serious, but for some reason he found it funny.

“I could, except I know I wouldn’t be able to stop, and then I’d be without another cook. I need you, Pearl. I need this to work. I’m losing my mind. You’re going to make me better.” His face lost all amusement, turning hard. “You’re going to do whatever you have to to stay alive. That means you’re going to kiss me,and you’re going to like it.”

Master A-0011

It was a mistake to steal something so precious from a woman who’d already lost so much. I knew that in every part of my being. Fuck if I could get myself to stop. It was everything that was wrong. The lowest of the low. But wasn’t that who I was? Wasn’t that who I’d become?Him.

“Master, please.”

Two words.

Two different meanings.

A need for relief.

Denial.

I couldn’t begin to know what was going on in Pearl’s mind. Was she afraid that I was going to hurt her, kill her, turn into a monster before her very eyes?Absolutely. If I had to guess, it was the rejection she feared the most, and she was right in needing to feel that. I was already rejecting this, and I hadn’t even taken her virginity yet. How was that fair to her? Did I even care? She was mine, wasn’t she? It’s not like this was a one-night stand and I’d never call her after tomorrow. She’d be here…and she’d be mine to take any and every which way I wanted. Maybe I’d add my own scars to her curvy body. Make her even more mine. I could transition the way she saw them.