Page 15 of Midnight Lessons
“I’m ready to prove myself to you, Low,” Owen says as if reading my thoughts. “Because you’re worth every second of effort, every moment of patience.”
“Okay,” I whisper after what feels like an eternity. “We can try. But Owen, I need you to be patient with me.”
His expression echoes his relief. “I’ll be whatever you need me to be. You’re giving me a second chance, and I won’t squander it. Not this time.”
Silence falls between us, but it isn’t awkward. It’s charged, waiting for one of us to shatter it with honesty.
“Is it true?”
I frown. “Is what true?”
“The reason for the betting pool? And that you and Matthew weren’t a real couple?”
My cheeks heat. “If you’re asking if I’m still a virgin, that’s none of your?—”
“I am,” he says, cutting me off again. “A virgin,that is.”
My eyes widen, and my mouth drops open. “You’re… But… How…”
He clears his throat. “I haven’t touched a woman since you.” He rubs the back of his neck in that familiar gesture of embarrassment. “Not gonna lie, I thought about it, but I couldn’t. I chose to be alone because you’re it for me. Always have been.”
Shock holds me immobile. He’s a virgin? Because of me?
I blink at him. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Low,” he says gruffly. “I’m laying myself bare because it’s no less than you deserve. Because it all comes back to the same thing. I messed up and lost you because of it, but I never stopped loving you.”
I’m not sure my poor heart can take all these revelations. I remain quiet, absorbing his words, my fingers gripping my apron like a lifeline. “I… Youlovedme?”
“Loved.Love. I thought about you every damn day,” he admits, moving closer. “Wondering what you were doing, jealous as hell, thinking you’dmoved on with Matthew. But I couldn’t move on. You meant everything to me. You still do. You were always on my mind. And when I heard about that disgusting bet, all I wanted to do was protect you.”
I exhale shakily, a tear escaping down my cheek. He reaches out, cupping my face and brushing it away with his thumb. His touch is warm and familiar, sending tingles down to my toes.
My heart twists as I consider the time we’ve wasted. Because some of that is on me too.
A relationship without communication is just two people.
Isn’t that what Mom and Dad have always said? And Owen and I were crap at it back then. But we were kids dealing with raging hormones and emotions that were too overwhelming to make sense of. But we’re older now. Wiser. Maybenowwas meant to be our time all along.
“I-I’m sorry too,” I whisper, my voice thick with emotion. “I pushed you away, didn’t give you the opportunity to put things right. I didn’t want to hear your excuses and apologies. I wanted you tobe the bad guy because part of me believed I wasn’t good enough for you. You were popular and athletically gifted. I was an introvert with my nose stuck in a book. So when Matthew asked me out, I jumped at the chance. But we were never together, not in… not in that way.”
My cheeks burn with embarrassment, but it’s only right that I return his honesty. “It wasn’t fair to him or me. I used him because I had no pride where you were concerned, and I was scared I’d take you back despite how much you hurt me.” I pause, taking a shaky breath. “But I can’t lie. I never let you go either, Owen. Not in here.” I touch my hand lightly to my chest.
“Fuck, we’ve wasted so much time, Low,” he growls, his expression pained. “I know we can’t change the past. But I swear, I’ll do whatever it takes to make up for the years we’ve been apart. If you’ll let me.”
I don’t say anything for a long moment, my eyes searching his. Then, slowly, I move closer, moving my hand from my chest to his, right above his heart.
“I’m scared,” I admit, my voice barely audible.
“So am I,” he murmurs, covering my hand with his. “But we’ve been apart too long. Let’s figure this out together, Low. Please.”
My eyes meet his, and this time, there’s no hesitation. I give him the faintest nod, and it’s enough. He closes the space between us, his lips brushing mine softly, tenderly, like he’s asking for permission. And when I kiss him back, it’s like coming home. He floods my senses like spiced wine as I open for him, and a soft groan slips from his throat as his tongue strokes inside.
Not once does he draw me closer or press his body against mine, almost as if he’s afraid I’ll turn and run. But I feel his heat, taste his strength, losing a tiny part of myself in this kiss I swore to keep protected after he left.
His tongue glides over my lips, and a shiver cascades down my spine. I itch to thrust my fingers through his hair, but I don’t want to shatter the moment. Kissing without touching somehow seems so intimate, my sole focus on the place we’re connected. On the texture and taste ofhis lips and the soft brush of his beard against my skin.
I lean into his tantalizing warmth as heat dances through my bloodstream. It creates a throb that starts in my breasts and hardens my nipples before spreading down my belly and pooling between my thighs. Unable to resist, I trace my thumb along his jaw, reveling in the silkiness of his beard.