Page 17 of Not Until Her

Also, my plants aren’t dead. Sure they look a little sad when I forget to water them for a few days, but they’re going to perk back up now that they’re rehydrated. She’s going to eat her words.

On my way out for work, I stick another note on her door.

Maybe this is your first time living on your own, but a signed rental agreement isn’t just a suggestion. Especially when your neighbors have children, and/or jobs, and require sleep at night. Which we all do.

Also, see plants. Not dead. They were taking a nap.

I can not live without adequate sleep. I become an entirely different, very irritable and upset person. On those work days I’m not the cool manager. I’m not the cool anything. I keep my mouth shut, and my movements slow, and hope no one does anything to piss me off.

I hate being that person. I hate being angry or grumpy or anything of the sort. Most people around me would describe me as upbeat and full of energy. That’s what my standard setting looks like, and I like my standard.

As I lay in bed for the fourth night in a row with screaming ringing in my ears through my foam earplugs, I start crying.Hard. I tried knocking on their door again last night, but it was no use.

I’m so angry at the world. I’m sounbelievablyangry at my new neighbor. I’m even angry at Tim for being so terrible at picking which people live next to me. I’m angry that if nothing changes, I have to move.

It’s going to be so overwhelming to figure out, but so necessary. I can’t live like this.

I keep thinking there’s no way they’ll keep this up, surely someone else will complain and get them to stop, but then they don’t. I don’t know exactly what’s keeping me from filing a noise complaint. Maybe the fact that the last neighbors were just kids, and I didn’t want to traumatize them by having the cops show up at their door. I still have no idea who I’m dealing with here, I don’t think I’d be so hesitant if I did.

The worst nights when the boys lived there would send me to sleep at my parents house, or even in my car. The latter only worked when Dahlia wasn’t home, and the weather wasn’t freezing. But it helped. I slept, despite the pain I’d be in when I woke up. They obviously don’t make backseats with comfortable sleeping in mind.

Yet still, I preferred to inconvenience myself rather than them. I did vent to Tim a few times, and I know he had some conversations, but he’s a big softie. He didn’t change anything.

I hate that my girl’s not even here on a night she should be because of this crap, I hate that I’m inconveniencingher. The next thing I know, she’s going to start preferring it over at her dad’s house because she gets to sleep peacefully.

The boy’s noise was one thing, but this wouldn’t work. There’s no way she could ignore this volume.

I wouldn’t be able to blame her. I’d be sad, but I’d get it. Hell, even I would sleep atCaleb’shouse if it meant nothing interrupted me from the hours of ten to eight.

When I focus on my heartrate in hopes to calm it down, I just remind myself why I’m so worked up, and it works me up even more.

I’ll talk to Tim in the morning, the guy loves me. If he sees just how upset I am, he’ll do something about it. I think. I hope.

If he doesn’t, then I’ll start apartment hunting. I wish I could say I’d house hunt, it would get rid of the noise problems, but the market is ridiculous right now. I don’t stand a chance.

I make a game plan while I’m lying there, because what else can I do? My heart is racing so aggressively fast that sleep is impossible. I’ll tell my parents I’m staying with them in the meantime. They won’t mind, because they’re always complaining they don’t see us enough. Maybe I could even move back in for a while, as defeating as that would feel. It would take some of the stress off.

And it’s not like a ton is going on in my life that I need my own private space for. I’d just go from being unfortunately single, to circumstantially single.

I start to text Caleb, not caring about the late hour, to ask if he can keep Dahlia another night. My teeth grind the entire time I type, and when I realize just how badly, I erase the message.

No. We’ll stay with my parents tomorrow night. That way, regardless of what happens, we both get our sleep, and I don’t have to miss her anymore.

My mind full of possibilities keeps on chugging until finally the music stops. I open my eyes to see morning light spilling into my bedroom, and tears build up in my eyes. An entire wasted night is about to turn into an entire wasted day.

I do decide to text Caleb now, but only to ask him what time I should pick up Dahlia. When he doesn’t respond within the first two minutes, I roll over while pulling my blanket over my head. Might as well take advantage of a morning nap if that’s all I’m going to be able to get.

2:37 PM

I blink down at my blurry phone, and the locked screen full of notification banners. That was somenapI just took.

But such a necessary one, I think as I let out a huge yawn.

I missed my Tim window, because he never hangs around here this late. Sometimes I wonder why he works from his office here at all, when he only has a few units and we’re all fairly low maintenance.

Not that I understand everything his job entails.

Most of the notifications are from Caleb, and I sigh as I open up our messages.