Page 74 of Smoke and Shadows

She.

Was.

Conflicted.

Viktor had fucked her over the kitchen counter. Like the previous evening, there was an urgency in his touch, in the way he drove inside her. He was always the dominant one during sex. She could count the few times he’d allowed her to be on top. And she was fine with it. But was she really enough for him? She didn’t think she would be the type to go deviant. She was thankful that Viktor didn’t want to share her. She didn’t like to share or be shared. And though Morgan painted an interesting picture of two men inside her at the same time, her stomach churned, not because she thought it was revolting, but at that moment, she couldn’t imagine another man’stouch except Viktor’s. It was an all-consuming need. She craved his touch, and only his.

But therein lay the conflict for her. Her independent nature was rebelling. She could take his dominance in bed, but somehow the control was spilling into their relationship. She was more stubborn than most women, she’d admit to that, but it was only because her overbearing father made her that way. One had to be strong not to be trampled by one Trenton Cole III. He was a ruthless businessman, and a cold domineering father. In the end, he couldn’t control those closest to him because his children had inherited his own dominant streak. That side of Marissa was now screaming at her relationship with Viktor. She was falling in love with him, probably already was in love with him, and that was suppressing her own controlling nature. But how long before they would clash and end up hurting each other?

“Don’t think about it.” He was off the phone and had glanced briefly at her.

Marissa huffed and looked out the window.

“Iz.” The tone quiet, but commanding.

She gave up on the scenery and turned her gaze to take in his strong profile. What was she so scared of?

“I know I dumped some serious shit on you back there at the safe house,” Viktor said, keeping his eyes on the road. “With our jobs at our respective organizations, our relationship dynamics could be quite complicated.”

No shit, Sherlock, Marissa thought snidely.

“We can’t overthink this, Marissa,” Viktor said, a rough-edge honed his voice. “Duty and responsibility versus what we feel for each other, there’s bound to be conflicting interests.” He cut her another brief look. “I can feel the resentment sliding off you. We’re facing a challenge ahead with the nerve gas. We’re going to disagree. I’m not going to want you to take risks, and if I have my way, you’re going to feel diminished because I want to protect you. I get that. It’s a delicatebalance. Hell, I see that fight between Maia and Jack all the time.”

“What are you trying to say then?”

“You’re a strong woman—”

“Don’t patronize me, Viktor—”

“I’m not. It’s the truth because that’s one of the things I love about you,” Viktor paused. Marissa suspected he wasn’t quite ready to say the L word again, but he added, “You have no idea how much I admire your intelligence and your courage even if the danger you put yourself in makes my teeth hurt. I’ve accepted that’s who you are and it’s your job. But I can’t turn off my instinct to protect you or be worried about you.”

“Or be pissed at me.”

Viktor chuckled. “Or be pissed at you.”

“You seem to be in control where your agents are concerned. I wish you’d show more faith in me to take care of myself like you do with Maia. I know I’m not in her caliber, but I do manage,” Marissa said quietly.

There was a pronounced silence before Viktor finally spoke. His voice was flat and cautious. “Maia and I have a complicated understanding. I trained her when she was very young. I think with as many missions that have gone south where either of us thought the other was dead, we’ve accepted we’re living on borrowed time. We’ve kind of accepted that sooner or later one of us is going to bite the dust.”

“That. Is. Sick!” Marissa exclaimed.

“Things have changed,” Viktor qualified. “Maia has something she wants to live for more than her job.”

“Jack.”

“Yes.”

Marissa didn’t want to ask the next obvious question. She feigned a yawn, rested her head back, closed her eyes and mumbled, “Happy for them.”

Viktor’s big hand closed over hers, linking their fingers. He raised them and kissed the back of her hand.

They spent the rest of the trip in silence.

She felt like a coward.

They arrivedat AGS later that afternoon, and the place was crawling with construction workers and Guardians. As usual, she and Viktor maintained an impersonal distance and he was walking slightly ahead when Tim motioned to him with a phone in his hand.

Viktor muttered an excuse and took the call in his office.