Page 12 of Speechless

She sniffled and knuckled her eyes with her free hand.

Something ugly struck him in the stomach. “You were never allowed to sleep in a bed, were you?” He recalled some of the wounds on her body in key areas and cursed a blue streak. “Pressure sores. How the hell did I miss that? You have pressure sores from sleeping on the floor.”

Jenna nodded.

Fury rose in him like steam from a boiling kettle. Connor tried to hold it back, keep it tamped down, but it burned away at his brain like acid. “You sleep in the bed from now on, Jenna. Do you understand me? No more sleeping on the floor like a dog. You’re a fucking human being, not an animal.”

She shrank back from the vehemence in his tone. Connor cursed again and gentled his voice. “I’m not mad at you, baby. Don’t think that.” He shifted slowly, set his hand on her shoulder and rubbed gently. “I’m just fucking livid that someone could treat you like an animal and think it’s acceptable.”

More tears dripped down her face and Connor felt his emotions begin to attach to her, stronger than they should have. He sighed and lifted her into his arms, and against his better judgement, pressed his lips to her forehead. “You’re going to feel like a human being again, baby, once you’ve had a shower and some food.”

Jenna’s naked body curled into him. He could feel the bumps of her spine, the ridges of her ribs and hips. So slight, desperately underweight and heartbreakingly unloved. His arms tightened around her even as she clutched him like a lifeline.

He carried her like a treasured possession from the room as she wept soundlessly against his chest. Helpless in the face of her emotion, he could offer her no comfort but his warmth, his voice, whatever she needed from him.

It was ridiculous, Connor thought with an inward snarl. Bloody ridiculous how much he craved her trust. She gave him a scarce millimeter and he strived to take the mile.

Caleb would undoubtedly say such yearnings were indicative of those domineering monsters who chained and beat their slaves. Not unlike, Connor thought with disgust, the monster responsible for Jenna. But Connor had been away from the lifestyle for a long time, and although he knew his dominant side lay quietly dormant, he was very aware that it might not stay that way forever.

This wasn’t his inner beast on the rampage, Connor would place money on it. This was something deeper, stronger, more tying than anything he’d ever experienced. Something he was not prepared to think about right now.

They reached the bathroom, and Jenna seemed to have calmed. While her hold on him remained tight, her body no longer vibrated with sobs. He reached into the shower and flicked the water on, adjusting the heat to no more than a few degrees over lukewarm. A far cry from what he was used to.

She flinched as the water ran, almost as if the sound hurt her ears. Connor stroked her back gently as he set her down on her feet and held her steady. “I won’t let go of you, baby. It’s only water. Time to see what you look like under all this dirt, right?” He knew he had a stupid, and possibly creepy, smile on his face but he couldn’t help it.

Her hand shook as she held it out to the spray. Water splashed over her fingers and she jerked away.

Connor sighed. It was very much like having a small child in his care, a traumatized child with no idea of how things worked or what they were used for. He didn’t have a clue what Jenna associated with such simple things as this, the shower. What memories it evoked in her mind.

He stripped off his shirt and pants and, clad only in his boxers, stepped under the wonderfully warm spray and pulled Jenna in with him. One by one, he felt the tired muscles in his shoulders and back start to relax under the warm caress.

Jenna’s eyes cast down to their bare feet. He hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her face up. Already the water was at work, some of the grime washing away in streaks.

His thumbs wiped away droplets from beneath her eyes and Connor caught himself before he could dip his head and taste her lips. He reprimanded himself thoroughly for the almost-move; Jenna did not have the wherewithal to deny his advantage, either through strength or voice. He’d hate for her to think she had no choice in the matter.

Instead he emptied a good dollop of shower gel into his palms and slicked them together before massaging the forest-smelling gel across her shoulders and down her arms. She stood passively, so he worked his way down the front of her body with the utmost care.

The water swirling down the drain quickly turned black, even as her skin came up a pale, pale cream.

His voice echoed in the stall, chatting away to her about nonsense as he carefully lathered her most sensitive areas. Then he turned her, his ministrations more tender as he worked around her open wounds. No doubt they stung as the gel washed away over them, but Jenna seemed to hardly breathe, let alone react.

Finally, Connor tipped her head back a little and attacked her greasy mess of hair gently. Dirt and crap had fused into the rough-cut strands, the hair no more than hacked off crudely. Bit by bit, his fingers rubbed delicately through hair and debris until the first dark blonde hairs started to gleam through.

“Little miss blonde,” he said with a smile. “Gorgeous.”

The faintest sheen of red flushed across the tops of her shoulders, up her neck and her ears. His smile turned into a satisfied grin. Oh yes, she wasn’t unaffected just yet. There was a spark inside her that had yet to be extinguished. And by God, Connor thought, if it hadn’t been snuffed out by what had happened to her up till now, there wasn’t much else that could.

Rinsing her off proved to be difficult. More difficult than even he had expected. Now that the shit was gone and Jenna was clean, the severity of what had been laid upon her became very clear. Nothing hid the brutality of the scars. The brutality, Connor bared his teeth, or the sheer volume.

He spun her around, delighted with the change in her. Her green eyes were still downcast, and her face still pinched with a hunger only good meals could alleviate. But her hair was no longer unkempt, her skin caked in muck. He decided to take her for a proper haircut the first chance he got once she felt better.

“You have to feel better,” he said quietly as he switched the shower off. He reached for a towel and wrapped it efficiently around her to offset the trembles contracting through her body. He used another one to wipe himself dry in super quick time. “You look…beautiful.”

Her flush deepened. It was a trait he rarely saw nowadays, the healthy glow of a woman’s emotions. Most often, those subtle hints were hidden away under too much makeup. And women now tended to be…hard to shock and embarrass, even flatter.

Jenna, however, was an open book. Every emotion, every nuance and feeling broadcast over her face, through her body language. He doubted she knew she did it, but she hid nothing.

Connor held out his hand. There was no more than a split second of hesitation before she wrapped her fingers around his and held on. What happened next thrust his heart into his throat.