Page 37 of Speechless
Miserable, he shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know anymore.”
“Can you give her what she needs?”
“Yes.” No hesitation, he knew he could. “If she’d let me.”
“How long do you think you’ve got left in you to try?”
Twenty questions of Jenna soothed ragged nerves, forced him to think. Specific answers, not just fleeting ones that brought more questions into his chaotic brain. “A few days, maybe. My temper’s shot, I’m exhausted and stressed. Functioning like a human being, even with a shitload of coffee, is becoming difficult.”
“Okay, so this is what’s going to happen.” Hands on hips, Sarah turned on her strict, no bullshit face. “Today’s Tuesday. Clinic will be closed until Monday. Go upstairs, pack a bag. You’ll be gone until Friday night.”
“What the hell, Sarah, you know I can’t just waltz off for the best part of a week! Shutting the clinic is a bad idea, and Jenna…”
“Be quiet.” She jabbed a finger at him. “If you don’t do this, you’ll burn out. Sooner than you think. Either you pack your bags and get away from this clusterfuck for a few days, or I do what you can’t and call your asshat brother to make arrangements for Jenna to be hospitalized.”
“What about Jenna? Am I supposed to leave her in her own filth for days, make a pile of food and hope she eats? She won’t go the fucking bathroom unless I drag her there and sit her on the goddamn toilet!”
“Do not shout at me, Connor. Haggard or not, I won’t hesitate to deck you. Jenna will be taken care of in your absence. I’ll move in here myself and make sure of it.” Sympathy flashed in her eyes. “You need this, boss. A corpse has more charm than you right now.”
Seemed fitting that he felt like one. “I can’t ask you to do that. You have a husband, a family. Zeke won’t be happy if you leave him with the boys until Friday.”
Sarah waved that away. “Zeke is a grown-ass man, Connor. If he can’t handle two four-year-old devils, who incidentally came from his loins, he’s gonna have to grow a pair and get on with it. It’s not like I’m miles away. It’ll be a learning curve for him.”
“And you? What if Jenna has a bad turn, a nightmare, and hurts you?”
She snorted, shook her head. “That girl couldn’t bop a gnat on the head if you paid her to. She’d let it drink her dry first. Stop stalling and go, Connor. I have things here.”
Stunned, he stared at her. “Where am I supposed to go?”
Her smile was sly and amused. “Don’t ask me. Cain’s got you covered there.”
Oh, so it was a conspiracy. While it was nice his brother and his nurse were so concerned about him, leaving didn’t sit right. The setback Jenna suffered was too severe. Abandoning her now was more of a betrayal than anything else he could think of.
Wasn’t sending her away to a hospital worse than that?
Goddamn it.
“Fine. I’ll go. But you call me if she so much as sneezes, Sarah. Those sutures came out clean but keep an eye on them. The last of her antibiotics are—”
“Connor. I love you, but fuck off.” Hands on his cheeks, Sarah touched her lips to his furry face. “Cain’s waiting outside. Jenna will be here when you return, in one piece and smelling fresher than a daisy. Now go.”
“But—”
Chocolate eyes narrowed dangerously. “My bags are in the hallway, boss. Don’t trip over them on your way out.”
“Thank you.”
She just pointed at the doorway and winked.
Connor made his way upstairs, paused outside his bedroom. Jenna was curled up downstairs, but he braced for her scent to assault him as soon as he opened the door. Not overly sweet and floral, just…just Jenna. She was everywhere—on his sheets, the pillowcases. A subtle fragrance in the air that saidwoman.
She no longer slept in the bed at night. No matter how hard he tried to stay awake, keep her where she belonged, he always found her curled up on the floor or in the closet, her bed a nest of his clothes he couldn’t bear to disturb.
He’d done it once or twice, tidied them up and put them away. Her distress had been so palpable, he could have crushed it in his fist. Moving the nest onto the bed hadn’t worked—she’d painstakingly carried each garment back to where she needed them on hands and knees, flinching at the sound of his voice as he begged her not to fall back into old habits.
The bathroom was spotless, thanks to her nightmares and the routine of whatever her captor had demanded of her. She rarely came up off her hands and knees now; she crawled everywhere, head down, and made eye contact with nothing but the floor.
Connor pushed the door open, breathed deep. He was in love with a woman who didn’t exist anymore. The fearful animal inside her had devoured her, consumed her, taken her far away from him where words and touch made no difference.