Page 54 of Speechless

Connor’s body stiffened under hers, and she shook her head. They didn’t need to know about the tiny wooden hell she’d lived in like a dog.

“It’s okay, baby. No one’s going to be upset if you tell us.” Connor murmured. “It’s in the past, and you’re never going back there.”

She pulled Moose nearer, tucked her legs up. Made herself smaller so her anxiety wouldn’t show. “Dark. Cold and dark. Hot and dark.” She thought about the bitter cold in winter, the stifling heat in summer when it was so hot she couldn’t breathe. “There were bugs.”

“Was there anyone else in the shed with you, Jenna?”

“Sometimes.” She didn’t want to think of the women who’d shared that space with her. Particularly her replacements. While Twenty-One had been as resigned about Jenna’s presence there upon her arrival as Jenna had been about the introduction of her successor’s, the stench of their fear and endless weeping had nearly driven her mad. “Twenty-One was nice.”

“Twenty-One?” Hadley straightened slightly.

“She trained me. Sire killed her.” She leaned her head on Connor’s shoulder and brushed away the image of pale blue eyes, bloodshot and distended, staring blindly at her from a purple face. “He likes killing.”

Hadley’s tone gentled. “Did you…train anyone, Jenna?”

Wide eyes, she recalled. Confusion and terror rolled into one devastating expression. They hadn’t understood—neither had she, at first—and hadn’t been willing to learn. They couldn’t survive Sire’s wrath. “Two. I trained two.”

“What happened to them?”

Her throat vibrated with a horrible sound. “Killed them. Not suitable replacements. Twenty-Two was better.”

“Who is—was—Twenty-Two, sweetheart?”

The surge of panic didn’t catch her unaware this time. She sensed it rise, tried helplessly to stop her bladder from releasing. “Me. Me.”

Connor whisked her up and away in an instant. “We’ll be back.”

Leaving a trail of duvet and towels in their wake, he rushed her to the bathroom. Too late to contain the majority of her fear reaction, Connor got to work cleaning her up while she sat numbly on the toilet, trying not to cry.

“I’m sorry.”

Connor nudged her chin up. “Actions cause reactions, Jenna. This is nothing more than a physical reaction to emotional distress. I don’t want you to apologize for being scared, baby; you experienced something no one can relate to. We’re making you relive that, and it has consequences. This is one of them. If this is the worst, I’ll happily take it.”

“Daddy. Connor.”

“I can be either, baby. I can be both.” He brushed the hair away from her face, tilted it back to study her eyes. “Just like I see you in there, Jenna. My little girl and my Jenna the woman. Both so brave. Both trusting me.”

She wondered how he could tell them apart, the child and the woman, when they both controlled her. The child was content to hide until Daddy drew her out of her shell. The woman had urges she quelled, was a maze of confusion and uncertainty.

His fingers traced beneath her eyes, down her nose. His eyes dropped to her mouth. He leaned forward, kissed her slowly, sweetly. Broke away before the fire simmering in her blood could erupt into an inferno and piled more sweetness into the moment by rubbing his nose against hers. “If it’s too much, Jenna, you don’t have to go back in there. I can make your excuses, ask Agent Hadley to come back tomorrow, the day after.”

“No. No, I guess it’s time.” Time to tuck the child, the frightened little girl back into her safe place and let the woman take the stage. The woman might have more control over her bodily functions, Jenna hoped. “We should go back. Agent Hadley will be wondering where we are.”

Connor’s brow furrowed. His head cocked. “That’s not my little girl.”

Jenna sighed and scrubbed her hands over her face. “She’s not who you need for this. I can’t hide behind her when you need answers from me.”

“I meant it, Jenna. I can stop this, right now.”

“It’s been a month, Connor. Sire already had my replacement when I ran away. He’s always looking for the next. He can’t be allowed to take any more girls away from their families, their lives.”

Gray eyes narrowed slightly. “Do you remember who you are, baby? Your life before him?”

“No. I locked them away, forgot them. I couldn’t stand to think of them while he did what he does best.” Her breath shuddered over trembling lips. She looked down at herself. “I should get dressed.”

Connor picked up her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed her fingers. “I’ll get you my robe. Do you need anything else before we go back?”

She grabbed his wrist and gripped it. “Just you.”