Page 88 of Speechless
Hooking the chain to the tree and making his choice.
He turned then, cold blue eyes blazing with icy fire as he contemplated the scene before him, and the world shifted. No longer was Connor her lover, his body the instrument of pleasure. It morphed, became heavier, more restraining as a wide pelvis forced her open, hammered a thick erection inside her painfully, quickly.
Bad girl, Twenty-Two.Hands around her throat, the full force of his weight bearing down his arms as he continued to fuck her with hard, rapid strokes.Broke all the rules, now I have to break you.
No air to suck in, breathe out. Nothing to scream with, beg with, pray with. Just black and red circles gathering behind her eyes, her frantic heartbeat drowning out everything but its own failure to survive, until darkness stole her vision.
Short, sharp pain in her chest…and nothing.
Jenna tried to crawl onto Connor, but he was asleep on his side. Teeth chattering, panic attack brewing, she shivered violently as she rolled off the edge of the mattress, landed heavily on her knees. She retched, but nothing came up.
Gentle hands touched her shoulders, almost sent her up like a rocket, but Sarah crouched in front of her, touching her finger to her lips in a quiet gesture. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Tell me what you need.”
“I don’t know.”
A cool hand pressed against her clammy forehead, and Sarah frowned. Her fingers trailed over Jenna’s temple, along her jaw, and slipped under to find her pulse. “The adrenaline shot should wear off soon,” she whispered. “I don’t want to give you anything too soon after that. Do you want me to wake Connor?”
Daddy. The word strained in her mind, the child reaching for him with both hands. But she shook her head. “He should sleep.”
“So should you. Come on, back into bed.” Sarah helped her, all but lifting her back beside Connor and tucking her in. She sat next to her, stroking her face calmly. “Connor and I are right here, Jenna. So’s Luna. Whatever the dream was, it’s not true. You’re safe. You’re home.”
“My name isn’t Jenna,” she said mournfully, spilling part of what weighed her down. “It’s…it’s Penelope.”
“Says who?” Sarah demanded.
“The people Hadley found. My family. My name is supposed to be Penelope.”
Sarah nodded thoughtfully. “I see. Do youwantthat name, sweetheart?”
The conversation was more hushed than a confessional, their voices little more than murmurs, but Connor still stirred. He muttered something in his sleep, flipped onto his back, grunted.
Jenna shook her head. “I don’t know how to be her anymore.”
“Do you remember who she is?”
She remembered more than she had a week ago, more than she cared to. Fragments of family and childhood were creeping back in, scaling the walls Connor had worked so hard to bring down. Recognizing her family had shocked her, their names coming to mind the moment she saw the photo and their faces. Blips of time, soundbites of their voices. It wasn’t enough, yet it was far too much. “Some of her.”
“You don’t have to be afraid of her, Jenna. She’s a part of you, a big part. Whether you live life as Jenna or Penelope, you have two people inside you living as one. Use them both. Nobody’s going to make you choose between one or the other.”
They couldn’t, she vowed. For all her faults, she would choose Jenna without hesitation. Penelope was the past; Jenna wanted a future,thefuture, with Connor.
She glanced at him. “We had sex.”
Seemingly unsurprised by the change in topic, Sarah grinned. “About damn time! I thought I’d fucked things up royally for Connor when I sent you into that panic attack. I couldn’t believe I was so stupid. I didn’t mean to scare you, Jenna.”
“You didn’t. Not really. I forgot to trust you, and Connor. I went a little crazy,” she admitted. “But you were right about the big personality.”
“Oh really?” A wicked glint sparked in her dark eyes. “I think you should give me all the juicy details, sweetheart. No holding back.”
Just like that, she settled. Nerves and fear whispered away into a shy giggle as she said, “Oh, I couldn’t do that. That wouldn’t be fair to Connor.”
“Bullshit. It’s the woman’s code, sweetheart. Spill everything.” Those eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Hedidmake it good for you, right? Because if he didn’t, I’ll take his ass to town and hand him over to Zeke for an ass-kicking.”
“I liked it. Connor says he wants to practice a lot.”
“I bet he does, dirty dog. Did he at least make you come?”
Jenna flushed and nodded hesitantly.