Page 39 of Lesson In Honesty
“Well, if you look at me, I’ll tell you.”
Damn it. Slowly, she lifted her gaze from the tabletop to meet his striking eyes, too intrigued by his thought process to ignore him. There was kindness in him—that was what struck her first. A great depth of it, like a thick vein of gold running through rock. Strength as well, not just the heft of dominance, but strength of character.
Kindness, strength, warmth.
For a long time, she’d believed blue eyes couldn’t convey warmth. Blue in itself was a cold color, pretty in its many shades, but cold nonetheless. She’d been proven wrong with Jasper—fuck, the sadist’s eyes were an icy blue, sharp and cutting, yet when he looked at Anarchy, it seemed as though the sun was trapped beneath that ice, beaming rays of love so hot the frozen cage didn’t stand a chance.
Maybe it was the gray in Mack’s eyes that tempered the blue.
Maybe it was just the man.
“To me, you are a pixie. Small and dainty, with those huge eyes and pert little nose. I’m sure Liam hasn’t neglected to tell you how beautiful you are; he doesn’t strike me as a stupid man. Whether you believe him or not is a different matter entirely, isn’t it?”
Numbly, she nodded.
“You don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful, Sierra. In my opinion, it’s the imperfections in a person that elevate them from pretty to beautiful, beautiful to gorgeous.” He reached out and claimed her hand in his big one. “Gorgeous to stunning. When I saw you kneeling in front of the barstool, I felt a connection without even seeing your face. I wanted to know who the hell was fucking lucky enough to have you kneeling for him, if you truly belonged to him.”
Sierra’s gaze drifted over to Liam, smiling quietly when she saw him serving a sleepy-eyed male sub two bottles of water.Yes, she truly belonged to him, and she was forever grateful he loved her. “You know I do.”
“Yeah, he made that very clear. So is the fact you both miss having an additional element.” When her gaze arrowed back to him in shock, Mack lifted his shoulder. “Some people are built for one-on-one love, others like to share it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think while you and Liam are happy and love each other, having someone else included deepens the connection between you.”
She turned her hand over in his, palm meeting palm. Hers were callused in odd places from all her stitching and sewing, faint white lines on her fingers where she’d accidentally cut and jabbed herself over the years.
Mack’s were strong, gentle, and only slightly roughened. Not a man who did paperwork all day, she mused, but not one who relied solely on his hands to do a job. Cowboy definitely wasn’t his career choice, which was a shame when his physical appearance suited that profession nicely.
“W-What are you hoping will happen?” Displeased when her voice came out shaky and weak, Sierra frowned and cleared her throat. “Did Liam tell you about Wyatt?”
Sympathy creased into lines at the corners of his eyes. “A little. Barely anything, actually. I think he’s waiting to see if you want me in your dynamic before he starts spilling secrets and history. I don’t need to know about him, Sierra. Some memories aren’t worth dredging up.”
Well, that gave her some leeway. Of course, if he stuck around, if Liam gave him permission to do more than just finger her in front of a crowd, Mack would need to know what her life had been like in the Wyatt years before Liam came along. He’d have to know, and understand, that she was not like other women when sex came into the equation.
“Truthfully, I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know how this will play out. Liam holds the reins and, for a chance to be with you, I’ll let him steer things wherever he wants.” Rubbing his thumb over her knuckles in slow, sensual sweeps, Mack kept her eyes in thrall. “All you have to do is say yes—if you want this.”
This was what it all came down to, wasn’t it? Chemistry aside—shockingly good chemistry, she admitted—it was her heart and her pesky emotions at stake. She wasn’t sure she’d survive more grief, and Liam deserved better than picking up the pieces a second time.
But part of her was already wondering what it would be like to feel the energy of three humming around her again. Not with the occasionally discordant notes Wyatt had thrown into the mix with his stroppy, sometimes cruel attitude, but a smooth, harmonic flow of three people coming together in sync, thriving instead of simply existing.
Sierra didn’t look to Liam for guidance now—she knew he wouldn’t lead her to a decision. This date she found herself on with Mack, for lack of a better term, was her Daddy’s way of giving her the opportunity to weigh up a potential new partner without any pressure.
He wanted her to make the choice on her own.
She really wasn’t good at that, she mused. There was too much deliberation over what was the right thing to do, too many options and variables for what was wrong and right. She’d found out the hard way, with every decision she’d ever made with Wyatt, that her instincts for self-preservation wereterrible.
Yet Mack’s touch made her feel special, as though she deserved a gentle touch and kind words. There wasn’t thatewww, ickvibe she’d so often felt from Wyatt, like he believed his skin coming into contact with hers might transfer her cooties to him.
Even now, despite the fact her conversation skills were barely passable and she was taking forever to answer a simple yes or no question, Mack just watched her with a faint half-smile on his attractive face, as if she could argue with herself for hours and he’d find her thought processes fascinating the whole time.
Digging deep for whatever courage she could muster, Sierra exhaled slowly, considering what she wanted to know before she changed the path of her life again. The usual details like his age, profession, the minutia of his existence didn’t factor into her choice; Liam would already have that data, he was too thorough not to do his homework.
“H-How do you feel about Littles?” she asked slowly.
His smile grew. “I admit, I haven’t had the pleasure of interacting with any personally. My perception, however, is that they’re a lot of fun, a lot of trouble, and live life to their fullest. Little kids in adult bodies, which is fine with me.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Do you like kids?”
Now his smile turned wistful. “I do. I’d like some of my own, one day. With the right woman. When I have a family, I’m not interested in being a part-time dad or absent husband. Family should be an all-in affair.”
Tears stung her eyes until they watered, but she refused to let them fall. Now wasn’t the time to sink into that quagmire. Because anything she said might lead to questions she wasn’t ready to answer, she nodded in agreement as her throat tightened. “I, um… What kinks are you into?”