Page 45 of When We Crash

I remembered what Tim had said. I remembered how drunk she’d gotten before. Was alcohol a problem in her home? Tim seemed to have been a few beers in when I knocked on the door.

“And you?” Ralph asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“No thanks, man.” I squeezed Noa’s hand, hoping tonight would be fun for her, knowing I’d hold onto her hand the whole night to make sure of it.

We watched as more people tried to sing karaoke and failed miserably. A few people came up to us and, more often than not, chatted up Noa. She looked surprised at first but then spoke openly. She gestured with her hands as she talked, and when she realized she’d almost spilled some of her soda, she chuckled.

“All right,” Ralph said loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “Now it’s Noa’s turn.”

She threw her head back and laughed. Rather than shying away from it, she shrugged and handed her soda to Ralph, who looked at her with a smile.

“Don’t laugh too hard, Dexter Andrews,” she said. She kissed my cheek and headed up to the makeshift stage.

After looking through the songs, she picked one and violins began. It was momentary and she started singing immediately after. Her voice was soft and unsure but damn it, it was beautiful. It was a bluesy song, with enough of a pop undertone to make it catchy.

She sang about dreaming of someone but playing it off. My heart was beating heavily as she continued. Her eyes roved over the crowd until they settled on mine. She was holding onto the mic with a vise grip, and at times, the music drowned out her soft singing, but I knew she meant it. This time, when her eyes shone, they shone with happiness.

Her voice caressed the syllable of each word with her eyes on me. When it became too much, she blinked, looking all over the crowd. But, sure enough, her eyes found mine again.

“Well, shit,” Ralph whispered, resting his hand on my shoulder and rubbing the back of his neck with the other.

“Yeah,” I whispered back.

The song ended and she walked easily toward me, but I saw the way her eyes shifted. When she got close enough, I grabbed her, dipping her back and kissing her theatrically.

“Great song choice,” I said as soon as I could form a sentence again.

She was blushing as she shrugged.

“Noa, what the hell? You didn’t tell us you could sing. And a Macy Gray classic, at that?” Ralph put his arm around her and led her away. “Let’s circulate. I know you’d love nothing more than to get away from this guy.” He jerked his thumb back and she looked back at me, mouthing that she’d be right back.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned.

“Can we go somewhere and talk? I have no hidden agenda. I just want to apologize,” Becca said in one breath.

Dexter

“Why can’t you apologize here?”I asked, not keen on the idea of spending private time with her.

“Please, Dex. I’m just asking for a few minutes of your time. I feel like shit.” Her eyes were on her shoes, and when she looked up, they glistened with unshed tears.

It fucking sucked that I couldn’t trust that they were a sincere display of emotion.

I let out a rushed breath. “Fine. Two minutes. Come on.” I walked ahead of her and stopped at the steps. “It’s quiet enough here.”

She looked around. “This isn’t exactly private.”

“It’s as private as you’re going to get,” I said. “The clock is ticking, Becca.”

“Fine. Look, I wanted to say sorry. For everything. For cheating, for not being what you needed, for what happened with Noa. It’s just—” she paused, her eyes watering again, “we were happy. In my mind, we were perfect. We had fun. You didn’t ask much of me, and I didn’t ask much of you. Then you almost died, and what was I supposed to do? You didn’t remember me, and I freaked out. I’m sorry I freaked out. I was stupid. But it was only once. I only slept with one person, and I feel terrible about it.”

“You shouldn’t apologize for not being what I needed. That isn’t your fault. It’s not something you can control. But instead of apologizing to me, you should be apologizing to Noa. You lied to her and hurt her feelings.”

She nodded. “I know. I will.”

“It must’ve been hard, having someone you care for almost die. I don’t know anything about you and me as a unit. I remembered very little when I woke up. And I had such a hard time ending it with you.”

She laughed, the action filled with sarcasm.