Page 84 of When We Crash
“What should I do?” I asked, nervous.
“Just be yourself. She’ll love it.” He grinned down at me.
“Dexter,” I started, “I have to tell you—”
“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Phoebe said, interrupting me.
He looked back and forth between us, and asked her what she wanted to eat.
She announced that she wanted chicken.
Dexter eyed me hopefully and I shook my head. “Nope. No food here. I’m surprised I have toilet paper.”
Phoebe giggled and I smiled at the sound. I had to hand it to Dexter, she was cute. He may not havemadeher, but he was the reason she was here.
“I’ll go run out and get some. Stay here with Phoebe.” He grabbed his coat, and I clutched him in a panic.
“What? You can’t leave her with a stranger,” I said, my eyes on her as if she were a bomb, ready to explode at any moment.
He smiled and gripped my face. “You’re the one person in the world that I know.” He kissed me and then kissed Phoebe’s head before running out. “I’ll be back soon, ladies.”
Phoebe giggled again and I turned to her after the door was closed, with fear in my eyes. I tried to hide it, knowing these creatures could smell it, but she went right back to playing with her things.
“What’s your favorite color?” I asked her, sinking to the couch slowly. Sudden movements might cause her to react violently.
I could tell a lot about a person simply by the color they favored. There was always a story behind it.
“Orange. Like Mommy’s hair. Daddy likes blue.”
Simple.
She was an easygoing child. For a three-year-old, she was smart. But I knew next to nothing about children. Her speech wasn’t perfect, but it was adorable. And she had a lisp. I was weak against her sweet lisp.
I had forgotten what Rachel looked like, but I remembered that straight curtain of red hair. And her hazel eyes, kind as she passed me in the hallways.
I knew, way before he and I ever started, that she had a thing for Dexter. But it didn’t bother me. I figured she was harmless.
I looked down at her little girl, whose eyes were hazel. Her hair was a few shades lighter than jet black, but other than that, she had what I assumed were her father’s Asian features.
She dropped her dolls and picked up her book, which she handed to me after she crawled into my lap. I looked down at it.Where the Wild Things Are. A child after my own heart. I smiled down at her and opened it, clearing my throat to prepare for the reading of a lifetime.
I used my most animated voice, earning me laughter that made my heart melt. When I finished the book, she turned into me with a smile.
Her eyes closed and I felt myself still.
After a few minutes, mine closed as well.
* * *
I wokeup when Dexter took her from me, missing the slight weight of her against me.
“I told you,” he said as he kissed my lips. He stood with her in his arms, and I pointed him in the direction of the spare bedroom.
It was the only bedroom in the apartment. It was also the one room I avoided. I preferred my bed out in the open with the rest of the place, a separator dividing the space.
When he came back, I yawned, stretching. “Still up for chicken?” I asked.
“Is it wrong for me to want this as much as I do? Because if this isn’t what you want, you have to tell me, Noa. It isn’t just me anymore. I mean, I have Phoebe to think about. I’m more than willing to do it, but tell me if it’s what you want.”