Page 86 of When We Crash
Me:Probably sitting around, wondering what you’re doing and dodging my boss. When we’re working on a project she tends to turn into a very scary lady.
I set my phone down, and sure enough, someone knocked on the door.
“You can’t be hounding me yet, Miranda,” I said easily as I opened the door. Her face was grim, and I could see black smudges of makeup under her eyes like she’d been crying. “What is it?”
“I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you this over the phone. The hospital said they’d been calling you.” She stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “Noa, honey. Tim is dead. Your mother was with him. She’s unconscious.”
She pulled my hands in hers, but I yanked them back, feeling like if I didn’t touch her, she wasn’t there. And if she wasn’t there, this wasn’t real.
I grabbed my phone, looking down at my latest text.
Dexter:Want to spend Christmas with me and Phoebe?
Me:Can’t. Tim is dead. Heading back home.
Not thirty seconds later, he responded.
Dexter:Meet you at your place in an hour. We’ll fly out together.
How am I supposed to react to this?
How can I tell him not to help me when I know I need it?
I blinked and inhaled. All I was capable of was blinking and breathing for a few minutes.
“I’m so sorry,” Miranda whispered.
“Don’t apologize, please.” The tears weren’t coming yet. I was in shock.
My mother? Fuck her.
But Timothy was one of the most genuine people ever. Sure, when he was drunk, he was prickly and rude. And that was him a majority of the time growing up.
But as I became a woman, he kind of became a man. And our relationship was finally a solid one. He was the only decent person I could call mine.
“Take me home?” I asked her.
We walked out of the studio, and she locked the door for me before placing the keys in my shaking hands. The waiting black BMW was so shiny that I saw my shocked face reflecting back at me. I ignored it and got in. After pushing through traffic, we made it to my building and I hugged Miranda, telling her I’d be back as soon as I could.
“You take your time, darling,” she said, kissing my cheek.
I climbed out and looked up at my building before unlocking the front door. I didn’t sigh over the contraption of the elevator. I didn’t get annoyed when it took several tries to get my door open. Once inside, I dropped my things and sat on my couch. Apparently I’d been sitting there for a long time because I was still there when someone rang my doorbell.
“Who is it?” I asked with a monotone flatness.
“Dex. Let me up.”
I immediately buzzed him in. When he stopped at my floor, I ran out of my apartment and jumped on him, making him drop his bags. He wrapped me in his arms, hitching me higher so I could wrap my legs around his waist. When he squatted down to pick up the travel luggage he brought, I thought for sure he’d drop me. I only briefly remembered his bad knee. But he made it inside, kicking the door shut and dropping the bags again before placing his cold hands on my body.
Everything felt better, easier to deal with, in his arms.
“I’m sorry, Blue. Do you know what happened?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t listened to my voicemail. I haven’t done anything. I waited for you.” I tucked my head into the crook of his neck, kissing the skin there. I was so grateful he came straight to me when I needed him. He knew I needed him. In a way, it was starting to heal me.
“I’m here. Not going anywhere. Shall we?” He set me down and pulled a laptop out of one of his bags. “I had my assistant book the flights on my way over.”
As he pulled the tickets up, I grabbed my phone, playing my messages on speakerphone.