Page 57 of Shadow Redemption
Ben captured her mouth with his and soaked in her care and comfort to heal some of the fissures in his soul. When he came up for air, he rested his forehead against Ruth’s. “I’m crazy about you, Ruth Monihan.”
“I’m crazy about you, too.”
“I don’t want to let you go but I should for your own safety. Davidson will never stop coming after me until I’m dead. If he sees my picture with you and recognizes me, you’ll be a target as well.”
“That’s why you kept distance between us except for the phone calls and training sessions, isn’t it?”
“I’ve been trying to protect you from Davidson and his cronies. I also can’t be in the spotlight because of my job with Fortress. I work in covert operations. Notoriety isn’t safe for me or my teammates. We work in the shadows for a reason. It’s the safest place for us and it’s where we belong.”
“My popularity will endanger you,” she whispered.
He didn’t say a word. She was right. As long as she was in the media spotlight and he was in her life, his chances of being spotted and recognized by Davidson or one of the other enemies with his name on their hit list remained high.
“Can I tell you a secret?”
Ben tilted his head. “Anything.” After all, she couldn’t tell him anything that was worse than him being a murderer at an early age.
“I won’t be a model for much longer.”
He froze. “Why do you say that? You’re at the top of your profession and more in demand every day.”
“Autumn isn’t the only one retiring soon. This job is the first of my last three contracts.”
He studied her beloved face for a moment. “Don’t do this for me, Ruth. I won’t hold you back from doing the job you love.”
“I’m retiring for me. I’ve made enough money to support myself and a huge family for life plus buy a small country and keep its budget in the black for the next one hundred years. I’ll never be able to spend all the money I’ve earned.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Start a charitable foundation to benefit children suffering from serious illness.”
He wasn’t surprised that her first thought was to aid sick children. “It’s a worthy endeavor. You could start the foundation without retiring from modeling, though. Don’t give up your career to protect me. I’ll take precautions if you want to continue.” He refused to admit the idea of her traveling the world without him for modeling jobs made him break out into a cold sweat. So many things could go wrong. He could lose her in a heartbeat if the security around her wasn’t the best. What he’d seen of the security measures surrounding Ruth before Shadow took over was a joke.
Ruth shook her head. “I was thinking about retiring before Hugo kidnapped me. My time as his prisoner simply moved up the timeline.”
“Have you talked to Marcus about this?”
“He told me to wait until I’d been in counseling for six months before making a decision I might regret. I broached the subject with him again last month and told him my feelings hadn’t changed.”
“What did he say?”
“To trust myself to make the right choice. Retiring is the right choice for me. I don’t have the heart to be in the spotlight anymore, Ben. I accomplished my goal of reaching the top of my profession. I’ve enjoyed the ride and now it’s time to walk away and really live.”
He cupped the side of her neck with his palm. “What is it you want to do aside from establishing the foundation?”
“I want to eat pizza and go to movies.”
Ben smiled. “A plan I heartily endorse. What else?”
“I don’t want to work out two or three hours a day or watch every morsel of food that passes my lips. I don’t want to worry about gaining a pound or crash dieting to lose weight before a photoshoot so I can fit into a certain outfit or look a certain way on camera.
“I want to walk on the beach in the moonlight with you, spend time getting to know my sister again, and find out who my brother-in-law is and what makes him so special to Bridget. I’d love to watch television without English subtitles to tell me what’s going on. I want to walk down the street and not worry about someone recognizing me and hounding me with questions and requests for autographs or money.” Ruth wrapped her arms around his neck. “More than anything, I want to become an expert on all things pertaining to Ben Martin, the man who steals my breath and makes my heart race.”
“Even knowing you’ll have to be alert for trouble as long as we’re together? You can’t ever forget the price on my head.”
“Even knowing all that, I still choose to be with you.” She stopped, uncertainty filling her eyes. “If you want me.”
He bent his head and took her mouth in a long, blistering kiss that sent his heart rate into the stratosphere. When he had to grab a much-needed breath, he looked into her beautiful eyes. “Never doubt that I want you in my life, Ruth. I know I’m not good enough for you, but I swear I will do everything in my power to make you happy.”