Page 27 of Wild Heart
That’s it. Give in to this.
When I spun myself around again, I didn’t have a chance to make any moves on my own. Tate plastered my body against his, and I swore I could feel his heart beating against mine.
With a flutter in my belly and my own rapidly beating heart, I smiled confidently. “Are you enjoying yourself?”
“Immensely.” His voice was a low rumble, the sound reverberating through my body.
“Do you know,” I started, sliding my palms over his shoulders, toward his neck, and along the very base of his skull. “If you can do one thing for me, your night is bound to get even better? And that would mean everything to me.”
“What is it?”
“As I’m sure you’re aware, I’m staying here in the hotel tonight. Although I’m enjoying myself on the dance floor, I’m looking for more fun. So, I’m going to head up to my room now, and I’m hoping you’ll follow me there.”
His body stilled, his eyes blinking slowly as though he wasn’t sure he’d heard me correctly. “Ava?—”
“I want just one night, Tate,” I said, cutting him off. Between the look on his face and the tension I could feel back in his body, I could tell where this was heading. I needed to stop him from turning me down before he heard the full truth about what I was willing to do. If I gave him the chance to decline my offer before I got it out, I’d bottle myself right back up. I had to tell him or live to regret it a second time. “One night. That’s all I’m asking. Please give me that, and I promise you, I’ll never ask you for another thing.”
He grimaced, a look I’d seen more than once in the last two days, but never before last night. The heavy silence stretched between us. His forehead wrinkled, his head tilting to one side. The battle he was waging inside was present in every feature.
Please, please, please, give this to us,I pleaded with my stare.
Tate swallowed hard, and I knew I wasn’t going to like what he had to say. “Ava, I think we should?—”
“No.” He jerked his chin back at the harshness in my tone. “No, Tate. I don’t want to talk or hear excuses or reasons why you don’t think this should happen. I want this. And I think you want this, too. Not everything needs to be discussed or planned. Sometimes, you need to just go with what you feel.” I paused, swallowing past the tightening in my throat at the thought he’d could boil this down to some kind of nonsense that could be sorted out through logical discussion or spreadsheets. That’s not how love worked. Tamping down the worry, needing to push forward, I continued, “All I’m asking for is one night. Either you can give it to me or not. It’s up to you. I’m going to walk away now and head up to my room. I figure, being a Westwood, you can figure out what room that is and get yourself a key to let yourself into my room, if you choose. Do what you want, do whatever feels right. But regardless of what you decide, I need you to understand that this is it. I won’t ask or offer ever again.”
With my heart pounding wildly, I gave myself just one more beat to take in his handsome face. It was bound to be the last time I’d ever see him for a very long time. At least until I knew I could look at him again and not have it hurt so badly.
Unsure I’d gotten enough of him, but realizing I couldn’t stay like this forever, I stepped out of his hold and walked away.
And with each step I took away from Tate and out of the ballroom, closing the distance between myself and my room in his family’s hotel, I felt myself on the verge of breaking.
To him, I might have seemed like the picture-perfect image of confidence and strength, but inside, I was a mess.
My palms began to sweat as I rode the elevator up to my floor. My throat was dry as I stepped off and walked down the hall to my room. And the lightness I felt in my stomach earlier when he’d agreed to dance with me was replaced by a heaviness I couldn’t seem to shake.
Wanting to cling to any shred of hope, I went about setting the perfect scene. I stripped out of my dress, freshened myself up, and slipped into nothing but a silk nightie that just barely covered the important bits.
I’d never done this before, but I wanted to do this with him. Even if I knew I wouldn’t be back any time soon, I still wanted to give him this. Because at least if I had this with him, I’d have a tiny shred of evidence of what it was like. I’d know, for the first time in my life, what real love should feel like. Maybe Tate didn’t love me back the way I loved him, but I didn’t doubt he felt something for me. And that would be enough for me.
Minutes passed, and as the time ticked by without hearing the click of the lock on the door, I had to face the harsh reality—Tate wasn’t going to show.
7
TATE
I won’t askor offer ever again.
Ava’s words echoed in my head like a flashing neon sign, warning me to pay attention and be wary of the danger ahead.
I always had answers. There was never a time when I felt as mixed up about what to do as I did now.
Because after making the decision to walk out and dance with Ava, staying there beyond the slow songs despite my blinding panic about it, simply because she asked me to, I was a conflicted mess.
Everything I fought against for years when it came to Ava had rushed to the surface as she danced in front of me. One unsavory vision after another flitted through my mind, and I was left frustrated that we weren’t somewhere I could have her naked.
Then again, those two things were something I’d become all too familiar with—the desire to be naked with Ava, so we could both give in to our longing, and the disappointment that resulted from it never happening.
Sadly, I was the one who’d made sure we were both left feeling disenchanted.