Page 84 of Wild Heart

Tate shot me a look that was less than amused. “You’re joking, right?”

“Nope.”

“Fuck, I should have agreed to dance with you.”

I couldn’t stop the snort that escaped.

Tate lifted his hand to my face, stroked his thumb along my cheek, and said, “You need to know there’s absolutely nothing going on between Francesca and me. I only went to see the cabin because of a possible expansion project at the hotel.”

“I know. I learned about it when I came to the hotel to drop off my key today. Ivy got a call from Francesca while I was there, and she told me all about it.”

The silence stretched between us. “I can’t believe you weren’t upset the next morning.”

“I was.”

“You could have fooled me.”

I offered a half-hearted smile. “I was trying to figure out how I was going to bring it up to you, how I was going to tell you that you’d broken my heart and I could never be with you again.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Curled into his body, my hand drifted along his chest. “I know. I’m sorry, too. If I hadn’t handled things the way I did over these last few months, we might not have wound up in this place. I think I struggle to deal with conflict appropriately. All I ever saw was my parents lashing out at each other and drinking. I think, on some subconscious level, I do what I can to avoid it. And I try really hard to be happy all the time. If I’m happy, I can’t be as miserable as them. So, I realize how much of what happened between us falls on me. I really am sorry for that.”

“But if I hadn’t held myself back from you all these years, if I’d even taken you up on your offer back before you left to go on tour, I could have saved the both of us a lot of heartache.”

I cuddled closer to him, Tate instinctively holding me tighter. “That’s what led me to staying away after the tour ended. You told me you had your reasons for not pursuing me. Am I right to assume those things are no longer an issue for you?”

“Well, with today’s news from you, it’s even less of a problem.”

I lifted my cheek from his chest and tipped my chin up to look at him. “What news?”

“About opening your business.”

I was confused. “What does that have to do with us?”

Guilt and regret marred his features. He drove his fingers through my hair, tucking a lock of it behind my ear. “I was selfish, Ava. I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean? How were you selfish?”

My eyes dropped to his throat, watching it move as he took a deep swallow. “I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I didn’t want to come between you and your dreams.”

Nothing he was saying was making any sense. “How would you have done that? I don’t understand.”

“You worked so hard to get where you are,” he started. “I know the time and effort you put in with dance, and it paid off for you in such a big way. You’re so successful, and I’m so proud of you for reaching your goals. You were touring for more than a year with one of the biggest pop stars. That’s an impressive feat. The problem for me is that if I was with you, if we’d been together, I’m not sure I could have handled the extended tours.”

“And here I thought having some phone sex and naked video chats would have gotten us through,” I murmured.

“What did you just say?”

“That was my plan. When I attempted to seduce you before I left for the tour, I convinced myself we’d have this long-distance relationship while I was away, but we’d have a lot of fun with it, because we could sext each other, have phone sex, and do a couple of naked video chats.”

He stared at me, his jaw clenching with such force. “God, I’m such an idiot.”

“It would have been fun.”

“I should have known. You’ve always had such a wild heart, just going ahead with what you feel and not thinking so much about it. It’s the thing that drew me to you as much as it kept me away,” he shared. “I feel so stupid. You didn’t speak to me the whole time you were gone. Do you know how much I worked, so I could keep myself busy and not think about you every minute of every day, wondering where you were, who you were with, and if I even crossed your mind just once in a blue moon?”

My shoulders fell, hearing how tormented he was. “I thought about you every day. I wanted nothing more than to call you, to see how you were doing. All I wanted was to hear your voice. It was torturous for me, but in my mind, if I didn’t start pulling back, I was never going to be able to move on.”