Page 34 of Heart Like Yours
“You weren’t sick.” He scoffs. “Besides, look at you now. Clearly looking good enough to bag this guy.” He waves a hand toward Garrett. My gaze finally leaves my dad and I lose all my breath when I find Garrett glaring at him.
In the few years I’ve known Garrett, I have never seen him look so…pissed. Garrett steps around the table, softening as he moves beside me. My eyes drop to his clenched fists and I probably shouldn’t find him so hot right now. The thought snaps me from my daze and I reach for my purse. Grabbing out more than enough cash to cover our half-eaten lunch and leave a generous tip, I hand it to Jenna before facing my dad.
“I don’t know why I expected things to be different.” I reach for Garrett’s hand, grateful when he lets me straighten out his closed fist and interlock our fingers. Reluctantly, he lets me pull him away.
“I wish it had been you,” my dad calls out after me and I freeze, yanking Garrett to a stop while I process his words. Any remaining affection I had for my father shatters right here in this bar.
Tears well in my eyes, but I hold them back as I glance over my shoulder to look at him one last time.
“Mom would be ashamed to see you now.”
Holding Garrett’s hand like a lifeline, I leave the bar. He doesn’t say anything when I storm past the car, nor when I continue down Main Street. It isn’t until we are approaching thepark entrance to the lake that I finally feel like I can breathe. Since it’s the beginning of November, the park is mostly empty, save for a jogger or two and some teenagers farther down who are no doubt playing hooky.
The cool lake breeze washes over me and I finally let out the air from my lungs. Almost immediately, I realize the death grip I have on Garrett.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” I try to let him go, my chest tightening at the idea that I might have been hurting him. He squeezes my hand in his, not painfully, but enough to get my attention.
“It’s okay.” Garrett uses his hold on me to tug me closer. His eyes bounce between mine, assessing me as if he could pry every thought from my head. “It feels stupid to ask, but are you okay?”
I huff out a laugh, stepping into him and dropping my forehead to his chest. “Yes. No. I don’t know,” I grumble, sinking into his hold as he wraps his arms around me. His warmth is welcome, fighting off the chill that was creeping up my spine.
Definitely should have taken the time to find an actual coat. Or not even bothered to come up here at all.
“You don’t have to talk to me about any of it just because I was there,” he says, tracing comforting circles on my back. “But I’m here if you want to.”
Sighing, I linger in his embrace for a moment longer before stepping back. I spot an open swinging bench that overlooks the bay and motion toward it. He takes my hand once more and leads us over. Not once pushing me to say anything, he simply sits beside me and offers silent comfort.
“My mom died when I was in middle school,” I whisper after a few minutes. I stare out over the lake, watching the geese and seagulls stake their claims on the mostly vacant beach. “She had cancer. Fought it for almost three years before we lost her.”
Garrett drapes an arm over my shoulders and pulls me into his side. “I’m so sorry.”
I nod, resting a hand on his thigh, and start tracing random patterns while I continue.
“Thanks. It was rough, but my dad…” I pause, shaking my head. “Looking at everything now. It’s like he died with her. That man back at the bar…he was nothing like that before. I tried to comfort him at first, but a few nights after the funeral, he came home trashed and when he saw me, he just rambled on about how I look too much likeher. After that, I just gave him a wide berth. He had alcohol while I had Lilly.”
My vision goes blurry and my heart beats heavily in my chest as I think about the rest.
“I was so ready to go to high school. I had all these ideas in my head of what it would be like. Cute boys, awkward first dates, and parties…” I sigh, dropping my head to his shoulder. “Little did I know that high school girls are brutal.”
“What your dad said about…eating?” Garrett questions gently and if it weren’t for his comforting touch, I doubt I’d be able to open up. But something about being in his arms makes everything about this feel less daunting.
“It started off small at first. Passing comments from a few girls about my shirt being too tight or one too many ‘thunder thigh’ jokes. From there, it escalated. I got invited to hang out with a couple of the ‘popular’ girls one night and we were getting ready to go to a football game. One of the girls said my outfit wasn’t right and told me she’d let me wear one of her skirts but didn’t want me to stretch it out.”
Garrett’s hand tightens on my shoulder, his entire body tensing, but I keep going.
“After that, the other people who were there were more open about their insults. Telling me I would be hot if I lost ten pounds or commenting on my choice of school lunches. If it weren’t forLilly, I probably would have avoided the cafeteria altogether. It was unhealthy, but at the time, anytime I thought about eating food, all I could think about was gaining weight.” I let out a snort that I should probably be embarrassed by but don’t have it in me. Tipping my head back, I force a smirk up at Garrett. “Guess this explains why I snapped at Mr. Daniels’s team yesterday for you.”
“I mean, they were being assholes and needed to be shut up.” Garrett meets my gaze, worry marring his face. “How are you now? Something like that doesn’t just go away.”
I sigh, dipping my head back down to rest against his shoulder.
“I’m better now. Therapy helps.” I pause, deciding just how open about this I want to be with him and choosing to just dive off the deep end. “There are still times I struggle to remember to eat or can’t bring myself to eat in front of people. Add on that my body doesn’t always give me reminders until my stomach is two seconds from caving in…” I shrug.
“Does it help or bother you when I give you snacks?” Garrett asks gently. “I never want to unintentionally upset you in any way. I just see things I know you like and buy them without a second thought. But if they’re not helping you, I’ll stop.”
His words melt my heart. I wrap an arm around his waist and hug him.
“It helps more than you’ll ever know,” I tell him truthfully.