Page 35 of Perfect Sin
Lucien sets his phone down and smiles. “Sounds like I get to play with my toys.”
Sin nods, and Lucien rubs his hands together in anticipation. “How wired do we want him?” he asks.
“Fully. Video, audio, tracking devices, and I want to see every goddamn thing he does on his computer,” Sin replies.
“It’s like it’s my birthday and Christmas all rolled into one. Looks like I’m going to a party tonight.”
“Not alone,” Sin cautions.
“We could all go. Show them what it’s like to play with real monsters. Maybe we’ll even let Raven burn down their house,” Lucien thinks aloud.
“I don’t want her anywhere near them,” Sin growls.
“He’s right,” Ford agrees with Sin.
Glaring at them, I turn away from Sin. “I’m not a weak doll you need to protect.” I’m not sure why I’m fighting him about this. I don’t relish being anywhere near him myself, but I am tired of being a victim. I told myself a long time ago I’d never be that again.
He kisses me on the top of my head, and I force myself not to melt at his touch like I always do.
“I know you aren’t. But you are precious to me, and I won’t take risks with you.”
Ford shakes his head. “Some of those guys that hang out there aren’t involved in the extra curricular bullshit Jesse and his core group of friends engage in. A couple of them are on the team with me. Shane and I will go with Lucien.”
Lucien nods, satisfied with having a team to watch his back. “I’ll need some time to get access to his room. If you can provide a distraction we can be in and out of there quickly.”
* * *
Back at homeI stew over the fact my brother and our friends are going to put themselves at risk to solve my problem. Ever since they announced their plans to infiltrate the party and leave me out of it, I’ve been off kilter. It’s a pattern with us, one I’d like to break. When there’s a problem, they rush in to save me. How can I ever be Sin’s equal if he only sees me as weak.
His reaction strengthens my resolve not to tell him about the messages. If he knew I was being threatened, he’d bubble wrap me and lock me in storage. While I appreciate the lengths he is willing to go to keep me safe, I still have to be able to live. Some risks are necessary, because life is messy.
My phone dings, and I dig it out of my bag next to the couch. I open the message and freeze. I feel the phone slip through my fingers, but I can’t react to catch it.
I blocked him, but he just used another number. I have no idea how Jesse got a hold of it. Now, I’m determined to go and end this once and for all. I’ll never be that Raven again.
“Raven? What’s wrong?” Sin asks as my phone hits the carpet with a thud.
I don’t answer. I can’t. The past and my present have come colliding together, and it’s too much to process. Even worse, the lies I’ve told myself and Sin crumble around me, and I’ve no other choice but to admit the truth.
He picks up the phone, and I know what he’s going to see. The shame is too much to bear. I’ve been really good at rewriting history. Being seen as a victim isn’t something anyone wants. So instead of an abusive relationship I couldn’t find a way out of, I concocted an innocent flirtation.
Tell yourself a story long enough and you’ll start to believe it. Of course, that band-aid has been ripping off slowly with every incoming message. At least now I’ll be free. This secret won’t be weighing me down anymore.
Sin looks at the message, and a murderous look comes over his face. “What is this?” he asks.
I don’t need to see it again. The number isn’t one I recognize and isn’t in my limited contacts. He isn’t seeing the other messages since I’ve blocked those. However, the picture is one I’ve seen many times. It’s a still from a video of me drunk and having sex with the headmistress’ son.
Now that I’m older, I realize it was far from consensual, but at the time I made every excuse to own the decision as my own. It was easier to wrap my brain around that explanation than to accept that the power to choose was taken from me.
At the time I only saw the consequences if my father got a hold of that video. Let alone what would happen if the headmistress did. I’d have been kicked out of a place that had been my home for most of my life. As much as I hated the stifling environment, the unknown of a home I’d never seen was worse.
Another message comes through while Sin is holding my phone. I hold out my hand. “Let me see it.”
“No, you don’t need to deal with this,” he refuses.
I shake my head. “You can’t protect me from everything. Especially something that’s already happened. This isn’t the first message. Let me see it and I’ll explain.”
I didn’t realize you were hot for teacher. Come to the party tonight, or these go live.