Page 76 of Perfect Sin
Her tongue flicks against her lower lip, and she looks up warily at me. “You know all you have to do is say no,” I remind her. She nods. “But if you don’t say it, then I’m telling you, you’re getting more, because I’m far from done with you.”
Her legs fall open, and it’s all the signal I need. This time I take her slowly. Her breaths become mine, her heart beating against mine. The first time I gave her every ounce of frustration and longing I’ve felt over the last seventy-two hours. This time I show her how much I’ve missed her, how much I love her, even when I’m an idiot.
Her hands fist in my hair. I know she thinks I need to cut it, but as long as she grips it the way she does, I’ll leave it the way it is. Her legs wrap around my waist, pulling me to her. For the first time since she walked in the door tonight, I really feel like she’s home. The breath I’ve been holding releases, and I stop holding back.
Time passes outside of our bubble. The door opens and closes. Lucien, Ted, and Amber kick off their own party he promised Amber when we left. We’re beyond being concerned about what else is going on around us though. I reach for Raven over and over as the night wears on. We don’t stop until the first rays of light slip through the blinds. Only then do I let her fall into the oblivion of sleep, because only then is the fear I’ve felt for days abated enough for me to finally close my eyes.
* * *
When my eyesopen again the light is hanging lower in the sky and the room is filled with an amber glow. Raven smiles at me, and I realize she’s dressed and holding a cup of coffee.
“There you are,” she speaks. Her voice is low and raspy as usual, stirring a need I’d have thought would be more sated after last night.
I sit up, the blankets falling to my waist, and I catch her eyes traveling down my body. “See something you like?”
“Mmmm,” she hums. “But you’re right. I can barely move.”
I laugh, and she scowls at me. “I told you I’d make sure you wouldn’t be walking away from me again.”
“You’re very proud of yourself,” she muses and rolls her eyes.
I jerk my chin toward her cup. “Do you have one of those for me?”
She hands me her cup. “No way I’m getting up to get more.”
Setting her cup on the night table, I roll her underneath me.
“Not going to happen, Casanova. Even if I weren’t sore, Lucien is waiting for us.”
Despite her protests, when I kiss her, she softens beneath me. I’ve never had goals beyond surviving the day, but being with her makes me greedy for more. She’s given me a glimpse of a future I never thought would exist for me, and I want all of it. I find myself dreaming of years alone with her, followed by a house full of kids. It should scare the shit out of me, but instead it fills me with hope.
“Do you want kids?” I blurt out and instantly want to punch myself in the face.
She goggles at me, her mouth opening and closing without making a sound. “Kids?” she squeaks.
I shove my hand into my hair, trying to figure out how to dig my way out of this. “Uh, yeah. I mean in the future, not now, but someday.”
Raven giggles and shakes her head. “I never thought I’d see you shy.”
I growl. “Just forget it,” I mumble.
“No, I don’t see how I could forget a question like that. I guess there are a lot of things we never talked about before we got married.”
I exhale. She’s not going to let it go, and I guess I don’t really want her to. If she says no, I’ll roll with it. Raven is more important than any hypothetical family we might have someday, but I’m starting to wake up to myself and realize what I want out of life. It’s simple really. I want Raven and a houseful of blue-eyed children who look exactly like her.
She settles back against her nest of pillows. “I’ve never really thought about what I wanted in the future. Every choice has always been made for me. But I see it with you. Possibilities.”
She’s quiet for a minute, her eyes unfocused while she’s lost in thought. “Yeah, someday. I want time with you first. We raced through all the first steps, and I want to slow down time for a while to just be us. And I’d really like to not be living with my brother when we become parents. In the far distant future.”
“I’m hurt,” Lucien says from the doorway, causing us both to jump.
“See what I mean,” she says to me, ignoring him.
“Yeah, we need our own place,” I agree.
“Like living with the two of you is great for me either. Ted stopped me from stabbing my ears to escape from the sexathon the two of you put on last night.”
“Get out,” I demand.