Page 81 of Perfect Sin
David takes a deep breath. “The deal is legit, but I have heard a lot of talk of how much Damien would pay to get his daughter back. And, even if he wouldn’t pay, he’s talked her up too much. There’s too much interest in the fabled Blackthorne heiress.”
“I really am going to be sick,” I mutter to myself.
Sin looks at me, and I see the resignation written on his face. “We could run again. I don’t want to expose you to this world.”
I give him a sad smile. “Where could we go? Both of our fathers have made sure the entire world has seen our faces. There’s nowhere we could hide. Not with the entire underworld chasing after me like I’m the prize in a kid’s meal.”
He exhales a shaky breath. “So we fight.”
I shrug. “It’s what we do.”
“Well, I hate it,” Sin seethes.
David stands, holding out his hand for Natalie. “We’ve really got to go. Tempest, our daughter, is with her nanny, but we don’t like to be away from her for long periods.”
“She’d like to meet both of you if you’d like that?” Natalie asks hopefully.
Lucien stares ahead unblinking for several seconds, then shakes him out of it. “Yeah,” he looks at me for confirmation, and I nod my agreement. “We’d love that.”
“Stay alert. Thanks to the news, there are a lot of people you don’t want getting their hands on Raven that now not only know where she is, but have visual confirmation she’s as beautiful as Damien has been bragging about for years.”
“Fucking fantastic. As if we didn’t have enough enemies,” Sin snaps.
David shrugs. “A Blackthorne is never short on enemies.” He straightens and buttons his jacket. “I’ll call when Jones sets up the meeting.”
Everyone sits in stunned silence for long moments after David and Natalie leave. I feel adrift. Not that there was ever a connection with Angela, who I blessedly don’t have to think of as my mother ever again. She’s been a non-entity my entire life, but at least now I know the reason why. She’s just another pretty prisoner in my father’s web.
There’s a storm raging inside Sin, but I know better than to press him about it right now. He’ll open up when he’s ready, and certainly not in front of others. Without saying a word, he gets up and heads to our room. Somehow it’s more awkward sitting in the living room with Teddy and my brother.
As if he reads my discomfort, Teddy stands and grabs his keys off the counter. “I haven’t been home for a few days. I’m going to head there for a bit, give you and Raven a chance to absorb what just happened.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Lucien tells him and follows him out the front door.
It’s rare to find myself alone in this house, even just in the living room. Somehow the silence is even worse the moment I’m alone. My thoughts are loud. I thought the fact my father saw me as a commodity was the worst revelation I’d have to come to terms with, after his chosen profession of course. Sadly, that pales in comparison with the knowledge he likely lusts after me. Even if it does stem from an unhealthy obsession with my mother, the cause does little to comfort me.
A frantic energy comes over me, and the need to cleanse myself, the world around me, consumes every thought. I scrub the counters with scalding hot water and bleach. The smell is strong, but not enough to stop.
The counters gleam, but everything is still filthy. I’m filthy. I immediately move to the cabinet doors. Images flash in my mind. Kyle’s hands on me, finding the cameras in my bedroom back at Blackthorne Manor, Jesse’s face when he told me he and Kyle were going to share me, all of it flits through my mind rapidly.
Dropping to the floor, I scrub the baseboards and the lower cabinets. Still my mind doesn’t shut down. My hair dangles around me, dipping into the puddles of bleach water as I try and rid my environment of the invisible filth I can feel closing in on me.
I can’t find it in me to care if my midnight locks are destroyed by the harsh chemical. The burning sensation on my hands comforts something inside me. This beauty others seem to see in me feels like a detriment. Would I have been caged like a possession if I didn’t look the way I do? Would I have been safe to stay with Natalie if I were a little more plain?
The funny thing is, I’ve never really thought about my looks much. It’s not unusual for a teenage girl to be insecure about her appearance, but usually it’s because of the reaction of others that makes them feel a certain way about themselves. I’ve spent my life in virtual isolation. My looks only mattered to me from the moment I saw the way Sin reacted to me.
Surely Damien wasn’t attracted to me as a toddler. I did spend some vacations with him and Lucien, up until I turned twelve. From that moment on I’ve only seen him for short periods of time, usually only once or twice a year. None of this makes sense to me. The only feeling I can label for sure is disgust.
Strong hands grab onto my shoulders and I scream. In an instant I’m back in school, being held down, feeling Kyle shove himself inside me. The nausea I’ve been fighting since David shared his story takes over and I vomit all over the floor I’ve been frantically scrubbing.
“Little bird, it’s me.”
I hear Lucien’s voice, but it isn’t enough to break through the hold the flashback has on me. I’m not strong enough to escape it, and I fear a part of me will always be back there fighting Kyle to get away.
“Jesus Christ!” I hear Sin shout, but I can’t see him. All I see is Kyle’s face, drenched in sweat and enjoying every whimper I can’t contain.
The hands release my shoulders, and I hear the woosh of the window opening. Cool air fills the room, and slowly the fog of memory recedes. I blink and see the worried expressions on Sin’s and Lucien’s faces.
“I’m sorry, little bird. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted you to stop. Your hands are bleeding.”