Page 34 of The Merger
She bit her bottom lip, and I could tell it was taking effort not to laugh. “Of course not.”
I exhaled and flopped my back against the sofa. “I didn’t think so.”
“I’m suggesting we fuck while we date so that we can both think clearly.”
And those were the last words I thought she’d say, the first words to render me simultaneously speechless and light-headed from the rapid southward flow of all the blood in my body.
Sabrina giggled at the look of shock I’m sure was displayed on my face. “You said ‘make love,’ that implies we’re already in love.” Her eyes slowly traveled up and back down my body before meeting my gaze. “I will admit I’m extremely attracted to you. I’m also intrigued by the notion you have been pining for me for years and refused to touch another woman.”
“It’s a fact, not a notion,” I growled.
“For over a year now I’ve watched my two best friends fight falling in love when it was so clearly inevitable to the rest of us. I don’t want to do that. But, I’m also not going to jump blindly into something with you without all the facts.”
My hands tightened reflexively, pulling the fabric of her towel just a little to give me a better view of her cleavage. “Ask me anything. I will never lie to you.”
Sabrina leaned forward, resting her hands on my shoulders, practically shoving my face into her barely covered tits. The twitch of her lips clued me in that every move she made was calculated.
“I’m more of a trial and error kinda girl. My dad always said I was stubborn, but I’d really rather find some things out for myself. I wasn’t saying I thought you lied. There are other facts I need to know before I can decide if we should stay married or not.”
“Such as—“ I trailed off.
“I know why you’ve been celibate, but it doesn’t help me figure out why I have. I didn’t know we were married. I’ve had no reason not to have dated more seriously than I have. I mean, I tried, or I thought I had. But, every man I went out with, the spark was missing. I’ve been told over and over I’m too picky, but I need that unexplainable, unquantifiable connection. The weird thing is when I’m with you I feel a spark that could power Seattle.”
I frowned. I enjoyed sex. Before meeting Sabrina, I was a bit of a player, or whatever the kids are calling it now. I’ve lost track of the amount of women I’ve gone to bed with. It was never about building a number to brag about but trying to satisfy an urge. All of the encounters were forgettable, and the pit of loneliness inside of me grew.
Then Sunshine came into my life, and all of the distractions, the random women didn’t make sense anymore. My life changed profoundly with one look at her. Before that moment I thought love at first sight was bullshit, but after meeting Sabrina I was a convert. To reduce that moment to simple sexual attraction bothered me more than I cared to examine.
Sabrina’s hands slowly moved from my shoulders, up my neck, until her nails were scraping through my hair. “I just watched about five separate emotions flit across your face. I can see you have some thoughts about what I said, so spill.”
“Is this just sex? Is that all you want?” I could have punched myself in the face. She was going to think I wasn’t attracted to her, or that I didn’t want her when the truth was I had never been this hard in my life.
She shook her head, her wet blonde hair swished back and forth, leaving tiny droplets of water on her arms and shoulders. “I thought Malcolm and I could have something. Or, I guess I thought if I couldn’t feel something for him, then I was incapable of having a relationship. We’d known each other most of our lives. Objectively, I could tell he was attractive, and he could be charming, but I felt nothing. I never wanted to kiss him, let alone go further. How do I know I’ll have those feelings with you?”
“Lay it out for me as if I’m five,” I told her.
“Thanks to Malcolm, the entire office thinks I’m screwing you to get a promotion. Now we’ve got to tell them we’re married, and have been for years.”
I started to lift her off of me. I thought I would be fine exploiting the situation to spend time with her, but apparently I’m more in touch with my emotions than I’d have liked. The idea of faking anything with her pissed me the fuck off, and I realized I didn’t want her to come to me just to keep a job that was hers either way.
Her eyes widened as I went to move her and she shook her head several times. “You don’t understand. People not knowing felt like the last roadblock to keep me from acting like a blushing idiot. If we tell them we’re married, it makes me really think about it. I find I am more curious about being married to you than afraid of how fast it all seems. I want to do whatever feels right.”
She took a deep breath and looked down. “Do you not want me?”
Grabbing her hips I rocked her back over my painful erection. “I want you so bad it literally hurts.”
“Then why can’t we just do whatever feels right? It’s not like any of this is happening too fast.”
I chuckled at that. I can’t think of anyone that would consider five years to be the proper time frame to consummate a marriage.
She gave me a very serious look. “Now that I know you’ve been waiting for me this entire time, I promise I won’t think you’re easy.”
ChapterThirteen
Sabrina
“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” he asked and started to tickle me.
I squealed and tried to move away from his assault. His fingers dug into my sides, and I squirmed to get away from him. I dove sideways to escape his torture, fell off his lap onto the floor, and lost my towel in the process.