Page 58 of The Merger
I could see her roll her eyes in the reflection of the rearview mirror. “She doesn’t. There hasn’t been a single day they’ve been apart since Gracie was born. He even hired a nanny to meet them at the office when they were working. When Gracie had a cold, Evie told him to go in to work without her. He did, but he was a distracted mess. Colt ended up demanding he go home and work from there.”
Evie was one lucky little girl. Of course, he had the perfect role models growing up. Colt spent most of his free time at the Anderson’s house growing up. I was even included in a few of their larger family gatherings over the years. I realized now it was because they knew my mom wasn’t really a presence in my life, but they gave me hope that someday I could have my own family like theirs.
I gasped. “I’m scared.”
“What was that?” she asked.
I swallowed. Why was this so hard to admit? “I said, I’m scared. If I allow myself to believe Stryker and I can be together, really together, and it doesn’t work out, then I might lose hope that I can ever have more.”
Her head bobbed several times. “I know what you mean. I did it too. It was one thing letting Evie in, but Colt scared the shit out of me.”
“How did you get past it?”
She gave me the side eye. “You don’t want to know.”
“Not if it’s a sex thing,” I grumbled.
She laughed again. I was glad my squeamishness at hearing the details of my stepbrother’s sex life amused her. “It isn’t a sex thing. Well, it kind of is. It was the island. All that time with no one else to talk to forced me to listen to him.”
“I told him he could move into my apartment,” I admitted.
“That should work, but you have to try and be open to him.”
Try was a funny word. I’d told myself I had been trying, but what I should have been was doing. I’d heard what he had to say, but I wasn’t making an effort to listen to him. The only person who had the power to change that was me.
* * *
Jana knew exactly where to go when we walked into the bar. This place was more casual than I expected for an upscale club. There were collections of sofas set in clusters. People were slowly trickling in from work, ready to unwind with a drink.
Beck hadn’t just unwound, he was snoring softly. Stryker or Colt had put a jacket under his head.
“How much did he have?” Jana asked, pointing to Beck.
Colt shrugged. “We lost track. I stopped trying to slow him down as he started describing the different positions he wanted to try to get my daughter pregnant,” he grumbled.
“I can’t feel my lips,” Stryker mumbled and rubbed his index finger across his mouth.
I looked at Jana. “How are we going to get them into the car?”
Her forehead scrunched. “Prayer?”
“Fantastic,” I mumbled.
I grabbed Stryker’s hands and tugged. “Come on big guy.”
It took several pulls to get him on his feet. He wobbled once he was off the couch and leaned most of his weight on me. “You’re so pretty,” he slurred.
“You’re drunk. It would be great if you’d help me get you out to the car.” Jana ran ahead of us and opened the door. We had to be quick because Jana had illegally parked in front of the bar.
She opened the back door of the SUV and I helped Stryker climb in. As I turned to leave, he grabbed my arm to keep me from going. “Don’t leave me.”
I patted his hand. “I’m just going to help the other two drunken idiots into the car. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” he whispered. The wall around my heart cracked. Only a little, but enough I could envision letting him into my life. Maybe that was the way it was supposed to go. A little at a time.
* * *
Colt managed to sober up enough to help Jana and I get Beck home. That was lucky because I had enough on my hands getting Stryker up to our apartment. At least he managed to walk on his own by the time we pulled in front of my building because we didn’t have an elevator. When we got to the third floor we found the door slightly ajar.