Page 132 of Hockey Boy
Tears well as I envision the wedding I described the day we met here. The wedding where we’d finally get our happily ever after. I dreamed of it even when I had no right. Even when he belonged to someone else. Only the truth is, Aiden has always been mine, and I certainly have always been his.
His face blurs in front of me as the tears crest over my lashes and keep coming. “Aiden, it’s closed, baby. But the sentiment is beautiful. We can still get a picture.”
Like magic, the carousel comes to life. Bright lights in the middle of darkness, followed by “Crazy in Love” blasting from the speakers that typically stick to cheerful carousel tunes.
“Sure about that?” he teases.
“Aiden.” I bury my face in his chest. “What did you do?”
“I did what I had to do to make you happy. I always will. Come on, Princess.” He tugs me toward the carousel. “Never have I ever ridden a carousel at night with my future wife.”
An airy laugh bubbles from my chest as I let go of our past and spring into the future with this man I love so much. Our friends join us, and although the guys are having a blast jumping from one horse to another, Aiden remains by my side the entire time. We take pictures that I can’t wait to frame and hang all over our apartment. We laugh. We kiss. And I experience a joy I never thought was possible.
Then, under the light of the moon and in front of our friends in the middle of the park, Aiden pledges to love me for the rest of his days.
From the momentwe woke up, I knew this would be a bad day.
“Don’t go.”
“Aiden,” Lennox whispers, studying me in the dark. “You have morning skate. You won’t be here anyway.”
I sigh. She’s not wrong, but from the instant she got the message from her family’s lawyer, saying he needed to meet with her, I’ve been suffocating. The lead weight in my chest is making it impossible to get out of bed.
They’re going to tell her she doesn’t need to get married to have access to her trust. She’s going to call off the wedding.
Will I lose her completely? Will she decide that since the marriage is no longer necessary, she’d rather we go our separate ways? Originally, we agreed to a temporary union. That’s it. So why would she stay with me now that she doesn’t have to?
Unless she wants to.
Just as the light is brought into my thoughts, darkness settles again.
Whywouldshe want to? She didn’t want to get married. She was doing this to gain access to her trust. That’s it. Sure, she’s enjoyed the last few months. Lennox makes everything fun. She took a bad situationand was determined to enjoy it. But I can’t forget her one rule. Don’t catch feelings. The rule she knows I’ve completely ignored, because I’ve told her as much.
But she hasn’t told me she’s fallen for me.
I’ve tried to be everything Lennox could ever want, but I’m out of time. If she hasn’t fallen yet, then why would she marry me?
“Of course,” I rasp, forcing a smile.
“And just think,” she says in that light, happy tone that makes even my dark mornings brighter, “tomorrow, I’ll be your wife, and then we can lay in bed together all weekend.”
I cling to that idea—and to the belief that once she has options, she’ll still choose me—and pull her in for a kiss I pray won’t be our last.
When the front door closes behind her, I’m hit with a sense of finality that weighs me down. I need to get up, take a shower, and head to the arena. The music, the team, the feel of my skates against the ice, the sound of it, will ground me and pull me out of this gray funk that I’m drowning in.
I slide my phone off my nightstand, ready to put on my game day jams, refusing to wallow, and stumble upon a text from a number I don’t recognize.
Unknown: Thought you should know you aren’t as irreplaceable as you thought.
Below is a screenshot of a text message. My stomach sinks as I begin to read, and as I go on, it twists and cramps and rolls.
Unknown:
Fuck.
I don’t make it to morning skate. It isn’t until a loud banging startles me that I realize how badly I’ve fucked up.
It’s like wading through mud as I pull myself out of bed and shuffle to the door.