Page 39 of Hockey Boy

“I’m not marrying someone else. I ended the engagement.”

“Shit.” She covers her face with one hand and slumps into the cushion. “Please tell me you didn’t make a rash decision because of what happened tonight. This”—she motions between us with her pink-tipped finger—“can’t happen.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Shrieking, she hauls herself to her feet and paces. “You can’t end your engagement because of an almost kiss. You can’t…” She stops and tips her head back, slamming her eyes closed. Then she spins and glares at me. “I needed this job. I told you I needed this job. You promised that you understood.”

I stand so I’m facing her, though I give her the space she so obviously needs. “Why do you need this job? Why are you dying your hair? What is going on, Lex? If you tell me, maybe I can help.”

She lets out an obnoxious squeak-snort sound. She clearly thinks I’m an idiot.

She’s not wrong, but I am also dedicated to fixing this. Fixing us. Fixing the issue that has her acting like a robot for her family.

“Fine, you want to hear what a disaster my life is? Want to hear what you signed up to deal with because you are a lunatic whoendedhis engagement and probably cost me my job?”

“Lex,” I plead, stepping closer and reaching for her.

She holds up her hand. “Nope. You asked. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She paces back to the couch and snatches up her wine. “You know that my parents and I have never seen eye to eye. They’ve always wanted me to be the perfect wife for a banker or hedge fund brat or lawyer. Definitely not an athlete, and certainly not you, Hockey Boy.” Sheeyes me dismissively, mimicking the way her mother surely would. “And while I was okay with never having their approval, because, let’s face it, I’m not one to conform. I didn’t realize that I’d be cut off if I didn’t follow their rules.”

My stomach sinks. “They cut you off?”

Eyes closed, she takes a sip of wine. “Not yet, but there’s a deadline.”

“A deadline?”

“My grandmother died last year,” she says softly, blinking back tears.

Dammit. I want to pull her against my chest and keep her there forever, comfort her and keep the world from hurting her. “I’m sorry, Lex. I didn’t know.”

Lennox was always close with her grandmother. She was the only person in her family who wanted her around just for her.

“Apparently, I can only access my trust if I’m married by the time I’m thirty. If I’m not, then my father becomes the trustee, and he’s made it clear that he’ll withhold it if I don’t marry someone of ‘Kennedy caliber.’”

“That’s bullshit,” I seethe. “You can’t marry a man you don’t love.”

Lennox eyes me. “Obviously, which is why I never intended to get married.”

The flippant way she spits out that fun fact is a punch to the gut, but I keep my face impassive. “So you’ll just lose everything?”

“Which is why I need this job. Even before my grandmother got sick, my father was frustrated with me for bouncing from one job to the next. It’s just”—she looks away from me, and when her blue eyes turn to mine, they look so lost—“I don’t want to settle. I want to have a life worth living. Maybe that’s the spoiled brat in me, the privileged girl who had everything. But I want to create a life that’s right for me. A kind of life that makesmeworth it.”

The way she says the words—the heartbreak in them—is so familiar. I hurt for her. Dark emotions linger inside me, loom over me, even on the best days, making me question my worth too. But while I have hockey and an awesome family to bring light into the darkness, Lennox is struggling to find her calling, and clearly, her family is nowhere near as supportive as mine.

I stalk toward her and press my palm to her cheek. Without hesitation, I speak the words she needs to hear, the words I so often wish I’d hear. “You are worth everything, Lex.”

Her eyes fall shut as she lets out a heavy breath. “I think you may be one of the very few people who have ever believed that.”

“I don’t just believe it. I know it. Sara does too,” I urge, brushing my thumb over her cheek. When she opens her eyes and fixes them on me, I add, “And the girls, they all care about you.”

A hint of a smile tugs at her lips. “I’m so thankful for the people in my life now, but they’re all settled. They have careers or family.” She lowers her focus to a spot on my chest, her expression falling. “I’ve just got me.”

“Do you like this job?”

“I do. But then you had to go and screw it up.” There’s no malice behind her words. She just sounds sad.

Stroking her cheek, I give her a partial truth. “Jill was cheating on me. I was a mark. She didn’t want me, just my money.”

Lennox pulls back, her eyes going wide and her mouth falling open. “What?”