Page 42 of Hockey Boy
“It’s just a few months,” I say, trying to ease her concerns.
I can practically see her thoughts racing as she flips through her options. When she reaches the conclusion I’ve already come to—that this makes the most sense if she wants her trust—she finally meets my gaze.
“No one can know.” She says it almost like a taunt. Like she thinks I can’t keep this secret. Silly woman. For years, I’ve been keeping my thoughts to myself on all kinds of topics, happily playing into my reputation as the happy-go-lucky idiot.
I can do this.
I nod. “Not even Sara.”
For the first time since I showed up here tonight, she genuinely smiles. It’s a little evil, but I’ll take it.
“Definitely not Sara. She didn’t tell me when she was fake dating your brother, so there’s no way I’m letting her in on this. Besides, it will drive her nuts trying to figure it out.”
A low laugh rumbles out of me. “You two have a weird friendship.”
“True.” Her smile vanishes and is replaced by a tremulous frown. “One more rule.”
A wave of dread hits me at her serious tone.
“If either of us changes our mind, or if you catch feelings, this ends, no questions asked.”
“What if you catch feelings?” I counter, rubbing my fingertips over my lips again, reminding her of who pushed whom away.
“Then I’ll say the word, and the fake engagement is over.”
Pain slices through my chest at the thought, but I keep my face neutral. “Got it.”
“If either of us says?—”
I cut her off. I don’t need to hear the damn word. “Got it.”
“You know the word?”
I know the fucking word. Jaw hardened, I give her a succinct nod and mutter the two syllables I never wanted to hear again. “Shamrock.”
She walks toward me, gaze determined, and sticks out her hand. “Okay, Hockey Boy, you’ve got yourself a fake fiancée.”
“You seem happier today,”Robert says as I sit across from him in his office.
During the season, most of my therapy sessions are done over Zoom, but when I’m in town, he expects me to make the trek across the city to visit him. I’d like to say it’s because of my dazzling smile, but he sees through the façade, and he doesn’t let me fake it, so more often than not, I’m subdued when I see him.
I nod. “What’s there not to be happy about? We won the Stanley Cup, I’ve got a few weeks off, and my health is good.” I tick off all the events that should contribute to genuine happiness yet don’t make my heart rate pick up the way they probably should.
Not one of those items has much impact on my mood. My smile can be attributed to only one thing. The one thing I can’t talk about with anyone but him.
“And you got engaged?” Robert prods, though his expression is hesitant. Probably because he expected that to be the first item on my list. “Have you and Jill started planning the wedding?”
“We actually broke up.”I rub my palms over my thighs, though I can’t help the way my lips quirk at the thought of being done with her.
Based on Robert’s concerned frown, my reaction isn’t the right one. “And how do you feel about that?”
Leaning forward, I bob my head. “Good, I guess.”
Robert’s already giving me a concerned look, and it’s only going to deepen when I tell him about Lennox. I’ve never mentioned her before, and now that I think about it, maybe that’s why I’ve still got so many unresolved issues.
So I start at the beginning. I give him a rundown of who Lennox is to me. I don’t shy away from sharing my feelings with him, and I even detail the marriage pact and my plan to win her back. The more I tell him, the lighter I feel.
“Are you feeling worried about what the repercussions might be?” he asks gently as our hour comes to an end.