Page 86 of Hockey Boy
“Oh,” Ava says, “it’s the hospital.”
My heart lodges itself in my throat. Across from me, Sara is instantly wringing her hands, looking concerned.
“I gotta take this,” Ava says, stepping out onto the deck.
We all watch as she paces across the wooden planks, practically holding our breath. She nods a lot, bites her finger, nods some more, and stops and takes a few deep breaths. Eventually, she comes back inside, her eyes welling with tears.
Worry settles like a blanket over the room as Sara and I rush her.
“What’s going on? Is Josie okay?” Sara asks.
Nodding, Ava blinks tears from her eyes. “Yeah, it’s good.” She swipes at her damp cheeks. “They found Josie’s birth mother.” Her words are choppy, broken up by sniffles. Closing her eyes, she takes a deep breath, then continues. “I guess she was sixteen when she had her. She gave her up for adoption, figuring Josie would have a better life. She never imagined—” She shakes her head, pressing her lips together.
She doesn’t need to go on. I can guess. Josie’s mother never imagined someone would care for her child for years, only to put her back into foster care when she became seriously ill. It’s tragic, and it’s haunted all of us for months and months. This beautiful little girl deserves all the love in the world.
I pull her into my chest. “It’s okay, babe.”
Ava sniffles against my shoulder. “It’s good. I shouldn’t be crying. Why am I crying?”
Sara eyes me over Ava’s head, rubbing circles against her back. “Because you wanted to be her mom. And because you love her. But this is a good thing.”
“I’m going to miss her so much.” Ava pulls back and wipes her tears with the back of her hand. She sucks in a ragged breath. “She’s still coming to the party tomorrow, but then Maria is taking her to meet her mother. I guess the mother hired Maria to help with the transition. As a nanny or something.”
“Wow,” Sara says, that single word echoing my thoughts.
Ava nods, lowering her gaze. “So tomorrow hasto be amazing.”
There’s no doubt I’ll make that happen. “It’ll be the best birthday party any little girl has ever had.”
You can do anything you set your mind to. You just need to be pushed and supported. I think there was a time in your life when you believed it. When you would look at something the rest of the world might pass by and find joy. Find beauty in the unexpected. Now you just keep walking. You’re too young to be this jaded. Too young to not believe in yourself. Instead of running away, take a moment to really sit and think. What do you want to do with your life? If you could have everything—if you could do anything—what would it be?
I keepmy promise to Ava. The party is a huge success. The guys helped us set up, but then they disappeared to their secret underground bar. I’m making it my mission to score an invite. Sara and Hannah have been there, and they swear it’s nothing to go crazy about, but the secretive nature of it and the exclusivity have me chomping at the bit.
“Look at how happy she is,” Sara squeals beside me.
She’s right. Josie is sitting between Melina and Ava, wearing the brightest smile. Millie came through and got in touch with Melina, who, from what I’ve seen today, is down to earth for a pop star. She showed up equipped with two bodyguards who are hovering on the outskirts of our party, on high alert. Fortunately, she’s incognito, wearing a blond wig over her dark brown hair. She’s even more gorgeous in person.
Millie, who’s bouncing Vivi on her lap, nudges my shoulder. “This is an absolutely gorgeous setup. I can’t wait to see what you do for my wedding.”
My boss is on the other side of the table, talking to Josie’s nurse, Maria. When I told her Melina Rodriguez had agreed to attend, she suggested she come to help out.
She’s probably never worked a child’s birthday party, but I wasn’t going to argue, and when she arrived, she seemed genuinely impressed by the setup. A low, long table has been set up on the grass in the shade of a nearby copse of trees. Sequined pillows in varying shades of pink line it on either side, serving as comfy seating for guests. The place settings are light pink and the cutlery is gold. The cake Aiden and I picked has been cut, and Josie and her crew are digging in, enjoying themselves.
And then there are the three crystal bowls that line the table which are filled with water and pink floating peonies which Aiden dropped off right before the party was set to start. God, just the sight of them sends me into a tizzy. There hasn’t been a day since Aiden moved in that I haven’t received my ‘good night’ flower.
The carousel is to our right. There’s just something whimsical about the colorful horses on the old-fashioned ride set in the middle of a park in Boston. It’s unexpected.
Find beauty in the unexpected…
My grandmother’s words whirl around in my head like patterns in a kaleidoscope untilsuddenly, they stop and form the most perfect picture. Aiden and me on that carousel. A pink wedding dress beside a striking tuxedo. A bouquet of peonies in my hands. Each of us growing a little older year after year as we return to this spot to celebrate our anniversary.
Little hockey players who look just like him.
Kids. My kids.Our kids.
That image steals all the breath from my lungs. I’ve never thought about children. Not in any serious way.
I’ve always sworn that I wouldn’t have kids, because once again, it’s what’s expected of me.