Page 41 of Echoes
“Why did you? When I left, you weren’t…”
“It’s okay. You can say it.”
“Likethis.” Felicity motioned toward her with an open palm. “Shebroke up with you in the first place because you two wanted different things. Then, she tells you that she’s suddenly fine with everything, you get back together, and now, you’re not happy because you let her get away with it. What happened to you, Rosie?”
“Some people aren’t all that brave when it comes down to it, I guess,” she replied.
“What does bravery have to do with anything?”
“She was comfortable,” Rosie replied honestly. “We’d already been together. I also believe that people can change. And when she told me she had, I allowed myself to believe it. Now, I’m here, sitting on the sofa that is also my bed.”
“You want comfortable?” Felicity asked.
“IthoughtI did,” she replied. “I don’t really want to get into it, but something sort of happened, and it kind of rocked me, but instead of doing one thing, I did another. Now, I’m married and on the verge of a divorce after only two years.”
“Divorce?”
“Yes. Why do you think I’m sleeping on my sofa, Felicity?”
“I guess I just assumed you’d work it out.”
“There’s not much to work out once you finally wake up and realize that the life you have is not the one you want. Ami is meant for someone else. I think it just took me this long to figure that out. I’ve been giving her this time to find another place to live. She’ll move out soon enough, and I’ll go back to the house. I’m searching for a lawyer now. So is she.”
“Wow. I’m sorry.”
“Me too. But I’m also not. I think it’s for the best. She needs something that I can’t give her.”
“Someone to be glued to her side all the time?”
Rosie chuckled a little and said, “That works for some people, but not– Well, not for people like you and me.”
“Don’t get me wrong; I want a wife one day. But, yeah, she’d need to understand that my career is important. We’d need to want the same things.”
“Now that you’re able to be on the ships?”
“I was thinking one to two trips a year. Maybe more if there’s something Ireallywant to be involved in. There’s a lot going on right now off the coast where I moved – I’ve been working on a U-boat site for the past few weeks, and I’m really enjoying that, so I’m getting my fill without having to be gone a ton – but, yeah, I’ll still go. Andit’s not like our work trips are Monday through Friday – it’s usually at least a month – so I get that it can take its toll on the person back at home.”
“Is that why you haven’t dated much?” Rosie asked.
Felicity shook her head and replied, “Not really, no. I told you that I tried, and I did, but I was also working at the museum and home all the time when I dated those women. It just didn’t work out.”
Rosie nodded and asked, “Do you still want that scotch?”
“No, that was a gift for you when you found theTitanwreck. Save it for a real special occasion. It’s, like, a million dollars a bottle or something.” Felicity laughed, and Rosie smiled at her in response. “Can I maybe use the bathroom, though? I meant to go before the lecture, but I was a little late, so I didn’t, and it was a long drive.”
“Of course.” She motioned to the closed door behind them.
When Felicity stood up and walked toward the bathroom, Rosie swallowed hard. She knew now. Ami had been right. It had always been there for Rosie, and she’d never known it for sure before this moment. She’d been in love with Felicity back then. TheotherRosie had known it. Why hadn’tshe? Now, she sat on her sofa, planning to call the divorce attorney she’d looked up tomorrow, and sleeping on her sofa because she’d married the wrong woman.
Rosie stood up and moved to the case. She’d resisted using the device so many times, but being here with Felicity, feeling her own heart race just from being in her proximity and hearing her talk about what she wanted out of her life, knowing that it aligned so clearly with what she herself had always wanted, made her want to try again.
She opened the lock, pulled out the device, and stared at it as she heard the toilet flush. She knew she should probably wait for Felicity to be gone to use it, but she still didn’t know or understand how this thing actually worked. Maybe the other person, who you needed to know something about, needed to be there for it to function properly. Maybe back then, she’d somehow asked it a question, like a Magic 8 Ball, and hadn’t even realized it. She wanted to kiss Felicity. She knew that much. Not yet divorced and only separated, but not legally, Rosie knew that it wasn’t right, but it was what she wanted. She wanted to kiss Felicity and let Felicity take her back to her hotel room. She wanted to make love to this woman whom she’d loved before and had been too scared to admit it. She wanted the life she should have had, not this one that she’d ended up with.
“Is it her?” she whispered as she looked down at the device.
She heard the water turn on in the sink and pressed the button. Three seconds of black followed. Then, she turned and saw herself sitting on the sofa. She turned again when the bathroom door opened, and Felicity came out.
“Sorry to interrupt us. I just really had to go,” Felicity said as she sat back down.