Page 43 of Echoes
“I should go,” Felicity said and stood.
“I missed you, too,” Rosie said quickly and stood up as well.
“Okay,” Felicity replied simply but looked confused.
“No, I… I mean, I missed you, Felicity. I missed you how you missed me.” Rosie stood there in front of her and decided that she didn’t need that stupid device to tell her how she felt or to give her a damn script.
“You can’t. You don’t–”
Rosie just took a step closer to her.
“Don’t, Rosie,” Felicity said.
“Don’t what?”
“You’re hurting right now or something. You’re struggling with Ami, and–”
“This has nothing to do with Ami,” Rosie interjected. “This has to do with you and me.”
“There is no you and me, Rosie. There never was.”
“Butcouldthere be?” she asked, taking Felicity’s hand. “I know I need to get through this stuff with Ami first. I’m not asking for anything today. But, Felicity, Ihavemissed you. I hated that you left. I understood it, but I also hated that you weren’t there anymore. I missed you, and I thought about you every single day. I wondered how you were doing in Portugal; if you’d… met someone; if–”
“Where was this four years ago, when you were getting back together with Ami?”
“I was scared.”
“Me too,” Felicity acknowledged. “I assume Ami told you that I was in love with you? My guess is that night when I was drinking wine in your kitchen.”
“Yes. But I think I knew it somehow without knowing it, too. Kind of like I knew how I felt about you but didn’t at the same time.”
“I was scared that if I told you, it would change things between us. So, I didn’t tell you, and it still did,” Felicity said as she squeezed the hand Rosie was holding. “But–”
“No, don’t do that. No ‘but.’”
“But you’re working through this stuff with Ami, and I can’t be the other woman, Rosie.”
“I’m not asking you to be. Can you just give me a little time?”
“You’re asking me to wait for you?”
“No, I… don’t know what I’m asking. I don’t want you to wait for me. If you find someone else, you…” Rosie closed her eyes. “Find them, I guess. I think I’m just telling you that Ami and I are done, and I’ll work this stuff out here. When I do, I’m going to call you, and I hope you’ll answer the phone.”
“Oh,” Felicity said. “What will you say when you call?”
“You’ll only find out if you answer,” she replied.
Seven Months Later
She’d been delaying this for two reasons. The first one was that she was a scientist, and she wanted to know and understand. She loved solving mysteries, and this thing was the biggest mystery she’d never solve. The second reason was that while she knew she’d made the right decision, she still didn’t trust herself fully. She’d made so many mistakes, and they’d led her down the path that made her unhappy. She’d kept the device because she’d been worried that she might need it again.
Yet, the main reason she was getting rid of it now was that she didn’t want the crutch. It wasn’t fair to the people in her life that she’d had this thing lying around, and she could just have it turned on at any point to help her make decisions. Of course, she still didn’t know if that was how it worked. She’d only pressed the button twice, and both of those times, it had been about Felicity Saunders. She hadn’t asked it to tell her what kind of cereal to have for breakfast or if there would be traffic on the way to the university and how to avoid it. To Rosie, this thing was more magic than science, more paranormal than normal, and it was time that she let it go.
She’d thought about dropping it back in the ocean, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted anyone else to discover it. Yes, it had been helpful for her, but having this thing in the wrong hands could be deadly. What if some warlord or dictator found it and used it to help them make decisions that ended up in thousands or even millions of people getting oppressed or killed?
She could keep it, she supposed. That way, she’d know for sure that no one dangerous would be using it while she was still alive. But she might be tempted to use it herself, and she didn’t want that, either. Destroying it was an option as well, but something inside told her not to do that. She didn’t know what this thing was made of, or how it worked, and she knew enough about science to understand that it had to run on some kind of power that she knew nothing about. That power meant energy, and energy always had a chance of being explosive or worse.
So, Rosie decided to bury it. It was the simplest of solutions, and it had worked out that she was going to sell her house, but beforedoing so, she was putting in a pool. The neighborhood was filled with them. In fact, when she’d first tried to list the house four months ago, she hadn’t gotten an offer on it because houses with pools were selling instead. Both parents and kids wanted a pool in their backyard, so she’d decided to put one in and relist the house when the work was complete. Fiscally, it probably hadn’t been the smartest decision she’d ever made – adding a pool wasn’t going to get her much more in the offer – but it would at leastgether an offer. Then, she would be out of this house and would be able to move where she really wanted to be.