Page 29 of The Best Number
“We can start with a drink, sure,” he says with a shrug.
“What are you getting at, Jack?” I need to understand what’s happening here.
“Come for a drink, we can grab a shower and see what happens.” He lifts his brows and I decide he definitely wants sex.
“What about Tom?”
He gives a little frown, as if he doesn’t understand what I mean. “He’s working tonight.”
“So what, I’d be a convenient replacement?” I can’t decide if I’m angry or turned on that he’s propositioning me.
“No, it’s not like that, Cass. I just thought we could have some fun.”
“Last week was supposed to be a one-off.”
“It was good, Cass. We’re both footloose and fancy free. Why not have some fun?”
“But what about Tom?” I repeat the question.
“What about him? He wouldn’t mind. We’re casual,” he tells me earnestly.
“Jack, you’re confusing me,” I blurt out, unable to be anything other than honest with him.
“What’s confusing you, Cass? We hang out, make the most of these post-workout endorphins, have some great sex, a few orgasms. What’s not to like?”
It’s like the floor has tilted under my feet. I’m unsteady in my grounding as I stare up at him. He’s coming on to me like it’s no big deal and I don’t know what to do about it.
“I don’t know, Jack. I want us to be friends…”
“Friends with benefits?” he asks with an eager look.
“I’m not sure. Can I think about it?”
“It was just a spur of the moment thing, Cass. There’s no need to analyse it from every angle.”
Anger surges up inside me as he rolls his eyes. I suck in a deep breath and pull my hand away from where he’s holding mine. As I step away, his other hand falls from my cheek.How the bloody hell dare he?
He’s got me in a complete tizzy and now he’s making out like I’m being over-dramatic about the whole thing.Well, fuck him.“I’m sorry if I’m worried about messing things up and losing you as a friend. Although at the moment, you’re being a complete prick and it wouldn’t be any great loss.”
He frowns and then huffs out a laugh, but there’s no humour behind it. “Forget it, Cass, I shouldn’t have said anything.” And just like that, he walks away.
I’m not sure that I can forget it though. And what niggles at me the most is I’m regretting getting worked up about the offer so much that I didn’t take him up on it.
“I need a shower. Let’s catch up later,” I tell him as he pauses by my door. I look up at his eyes, relieved to see him looking right back at me and not avoiding me.
“Sure. I’m sorry if I overstepped.” His gaze flitters away to the side.
I place a hand up on his shoulder and give him an awkward pat. “It’s okay, I realise how irresistible I am.” I wink, tryingto infuse some humour into the situation. This time his laugh sounds real and relief rushes over me. We might just have worked our way out the other side of the awkwardness of this moment. “I’ll text you later,” I tell him as I unlock my door and step inside.
“Chat later, Cass.”
I watch from inside my flat and feel a little sad when he doesn’t look back before he shuts the door behind him.
After a shower and a snack, I feel like I’ve gained some perspective on what happened earlier between Jack and I. The kiss was amazing and I feel frustrated that it knocked me so far off kilter. You’d think after last weekend I’d be more open to random hook-ups, but I’m worried about losing him as a friend.
I let myself think about being with Jack. Just him. And I realise I like the idea. The threesome was fun and perhaps I’m getting in my own way by not letting the casual thing play out. Perhaps we could all get together again. And explore other stuff too like me and Jack, and me and Tom.
Am I being greedy?