Page 52 of The Guru: Shadow
Breathing against her neck.
And a shudder running through her body before reality distorted and her mind flashed back.
The Lordof the Rings poster with Gollum’s glowing eyes staring at her in the dark while his hand wandered around her belly.
“You smell so lovely, love.”
Something hard pushing against her back.
“Mommy…”
“Mommy is asleep, you don’t want to wake her, do you? She is always so fragile.”
His hand creeps under her pajamas.
“Did you miss me, love?”
“NO!”she shouted out so loudly and jumped up. Fear consumed her, ripping her soul into pieces of darkness.
A touch on her arm.
“Emma, what did you see?”
Her unfocused eyes wandered from the touch to the person the hand and voice belonged to. And when her eyes finally focused, she glanced straight into the ice-blue eyes that had already pierced her, stripped her, ripped her open. In them, no concern but a longing.
“My…father,” she started, but then her voice broke as she heard movement behind her, and the realization hit her that she wasn’t alone. Spinning around, seeing all the people staring at her. Fear zoomed in on her once again.
“Everyone, out,” he ordered them.
And as the door clicked, he sat himself front facing her to her on the floor.
“Tell me what he did.” Even now, where she was so occupied in her mind, listening to her body, she still noticed the longing in his voice that he couldn’t hide. There he sat, Deis, staring at her with eyes almost eating her.
What the hell?
And somewhere, very deep down in her, she knew all of this wasn’t a coincidence. There could only be so much.
“He whispered the same words into my ears as you… you…” she stammered. “Every time he’d tuck me tight and…and–” She couldn’t speak it out loud.
Unable to say why she told him, why words poured out of her, why she wasn’t angry, why she wasn't revolting, fleeing, or getting out of the danger zone, she just let the words flow, unfiltered, untamed, and uncontrolled as they came.
Her body began to tremble while she told him what she remembered, what her father did, and a coldness filled her veins she had never felt before as a painful realization hit her.
“Didn’t you know before?”
“No, I…I never…I only have a few memories of my childhood.”
“Your mind protected you from overwhelm. Until my words triggered the memory. That is exactly what this whole weekend is about. You will free yourself from whatever holds you back,ma belle.”
“You don’t seriously believe I’ll continue after this?” And as he triggered the rage in her, she was finally able to focus her mind again.
“Oh, you will. You’ll actually be the one I’ll coach publicly.”
“Absolutely fucking not. I will not pour out my soul and story in front of more than a thousand people.”
“You will because I say so. See it as punishment for the stunt you pulled with the police. And if you run, I’ll promise you, you’ll watch behind your back for the rest of your life.”
This man had no empathy, no conscience, not a single feeling of guilt or regret. There was no further need for confirmation. She saw it, right this moment, clearer than ever.