Page 61 of The Guru: Shadow

“You need to chill, sweetheart. It’s just a fuck.” And with that, he opened his pants.

4th floor.

Carl spat in his free hand and rubbed it between Emma’s thighs. Watching it produced a rage in him beyond every, and anything. A rage roaring like a firestorm through his veins destroying everything in its way. Carl would pay for it, heavy and with his life.

5th floor.

It took Carl a single swift movement, and he kneeled behind her, pulled her up, and pushed in her with a single hard thrust. And just at that moment, he burst open the door to her apartment. Emma had become completely rigid. No more fighting it. Just enduring it. Silent faraway sobs resounded through the earpiece. He burst into the bedroom with two steps. Carl had turned around, facing him with his disgusting cock. Emma’s silent sobs trailed heavily directly into his chest and touched something. Something that now roared murder.

15

EMMA

PLAYLIST: SO COLD - BEN COCKS, NIKISHA REYES-PILE

Coldness. Never-ending coldness streamed like ice through her veins as Carl’s heavy perfume fell onto her with the realization, he really would do it. A scent she would never forget for the rest of her life. Imprinted with the sensation of being taken without consent, it shattered her soul apart.

Carl, the usually sweet guy, who always went into a deep talk with her. Carl, who she’d spent hours in Julie’s and his apartment while listening to how he worshipped Julie and how he enjoyed his research job. Yes, he had gotten her some cocaine over the past years as things requested some stamina – or, well, forgetting, but this? Never ever in her life had she believed him, of all people, to rape her.

And the moment he entered her, she lay back in her childhood bed. The painful feeling of being entered without consent broke her like a mirror into a million pieces. Deep, deep inside her, everything fell apart while everything was frozen at the same time. Unable to tell if it was the feeling of her father back then or Carl right now, she zoomed out, her heartbeat racing, but the world around her wasn’t there anymore. There was only nothingness. Not even pain. Just nothingness. No emotion. No pain. No her.

Boom!

But even that did not matter.

Ice-blue eyes stared at her, or what used to be her. She was not herself anymore. Her body didn’t belong to her.

“Emma.”

Who is Emma?

Am I Emma?

I don’t know.

Warmth around me.

Is that really me?

“Come here.”

Can’t.

“It’ll be alright.”

A hand on my face.

This..is..my face?

Warmth.

Bum…Bum.

Bum…Bum.

Heartbeat.

His heartbeat.