Page 58 of Midnight Whispers
“What are you saying?” She whimpers.
“That I should send you back to Emolyn Cove and leave for good. I won't come back until your lifetime is over. You can have alife,Lillia.”
“Okay. First, it’s love ormylove.” She grabs a hold of my wrist and pulls it out of her hair, leaning back to look at me. “Secondly, you can’t just leave anymore. You are my life now. Without you my life doesn’t make sense.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I love you, Finnian Sinclair.”
“That’s not possible.” My voice is coated in disbelief.
“Why do you find yourself to be so unlovable that you don’t think me loving you is possible?”
There’s so much to unload in that question that I don’t even know where to begin, a deep seeded belief that I am forever someone’s second choice or not even a choice at all. I stumble on answering the question, but I know this is something she isn’t going to let go of.
“I don’t know how to answer that in a short answer.” Lillia adjusts herself, transferring her weight onto her knees.
“So, make it a long one then.” The vulnerability she’s asking of me makes me feel like I am completely in the nude, even when I’m fully dressed.
“It will sound like I’m making excuses, but the only person who has willingly stayed in my life is Asher. The life he gave me was everything he promised and more, but even with all the chances to leave he has stayed. He has shown me that he will always show up, even when I make it hard to want to. And believe me, I have made it hard on him.” I pinch the bridge of my nose and release a sigh. “My parents were very poor and already had five children. When I was born, they dropped me off on the porch of the orphanage. I have no idea if they checked to see if they could even take me or not, but they had no room. One of the nuns who ran the orphanage raised me, but when I was just nine, she died suddenly, and I was put out onto the street. I had to find ways to survive, but that meant being used by everyone around me. There was never anyone I trusted completely. In fact, I was forced to realize over and over that nobody could be trusted. Then Asher found me and changed me, and life had new meaning.”
“Finn.” Her voice breaks.
“Then when we found our coven, I got something I never thought I’d have. Family. Only to be betrayed by Evelyn and Cedar, so even that went up in flames.”
“None of that was your fault.” Heat grows in the pit of my stomach, anger causing my blood to boil.
“Why are you so insistent on loving a monster?” I hissed between clenched jaws.
“You can get as mad all you want, Finn, but I see no monster here. All I see is a man worthy of all the love I can give to him. You just must be willing to accept it.” She holds mystare, unwavering in her determination to prove to me that she wasn’t leaving.
“You should shower.”
“Only if you join me.” She tempts me, running her hand across my chest.
“You’re healing.”
“I feel great.”
“I will shower with you tohelpyou.”
“Yeah, sure.” She gets up and makes her way to the bathroom, looking over her shoulder as she exits through the threshold. Hearing the conversation between Lillia and I, Asher takes Flora to explore some of the city before we must leave.
Lillia starts the shower and sets it to the highest heat setting.
“It will get hot fast; Asher had a tankless water heater installed in every residence a couple of years ago.” She turns to face me and doesn’t respond.
Slowly, she starts to undress herself. Starting with the straps of her dress, she slides them down her arms and slips it down her body. It drops to a pile around her feet. She stands in front of me in nothing, but a pair of black lace panties and I can feel my resolve melting away as I look her up and down. I am beside myself when I see no proof of the ordeal on her soft skin.
“Let me.” I drop to my knees in front of her, holding her gaze, sliding my fingers beneath the top seam of her panties and sliding them down. She steps out of them one leg at a time, my eyes never breaking contact from hers. I glide my fingertips up her legs as I stand back up.
Steam fills the room. She adjusts the water’s temperature and feels it with her hand. Once satisfied she gets into the shower and places her head beneath the water. I can’t help but watch as it glides across her skin. After undressing quickly, I get into the shower with her and grab onto the shampoo bottle.
“Turn around.” I demand. She hesitates but turns. I squeeze shampoo into my hand and lather it before beginning to wash her hair.
“Hmmm.That feels good.” She moans as I massage her scalp.
“Rinse.” She turns back around and looks at me as she rinses the shampoo out of her hair. I grab the fresh washcloth and put some body wash on it and start to cleanse her skin.