Page 47 of No Other Love
I swallowed back bitter tears. It was true, every word coming from Vikrant’s mouth was true. Neither of Vikrant’s parents had asked me, even once over the last few days, to stay back and take charge of home and the kitchen while Vikrant worked.
In fact, just yesterday, Vikrant’s mom had packed sandwiches for both of us in matching Tupperware boxes.
She might have had problems with me once upon a time, but her actions showed how much she had changed.
‘Your father never liked me. And I could live with that. I am the man who took his baby girl away, even though shewouldn’t even take my last name. Or wear a goddamn symbol of our relationship. But he doesn’t respect me or acknowledge the choices I made. And that I can’t tolerate anymore.’ Vikrant turned away, gripping the balcony railing tightly.
***
I made to touch his taut back but knew he’d shrug it off.
The knowledge hurt, as surely as his words did. Words I had brought upon myself for believing things could be different this time. For fuckinghopingthey would be.
So, for the sake of that hope. I tried to talk to him. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and not react aggressively like I always did.
‘I’m sorry, Vikrant. I should have spoken to Dad when he called the first time,’ I admitted quietly. ‘But I haven’t been on speaking terms with him for the last one year, since we broke up.’
‘Why?’ He threw at me sarcastically. ‘I thought he’d be rejoicing in doctor hell for successfully decoupling his daughter from the silly, small-town GP.’
I flinched. Because that’s exactly what my father always referred to Vikrant as. And it was so laughably untrue now that I’d actually seen firsthand how capable he was. How fuckinggood.
‘I don’t know,’ I answered softly. ‘I haven’t spoken to him in a year. Whatever problems you and I had, and God knows, we had our share, my father did not get to judge us over it.’
He made a huffing sound, as if he didn’t believe me.
‘But he didn’t judge you, Vikrant,’ I continued in a low voice. ‘It was me. He judgedme. Found me lacking in every single aspect of being his child. His only child. I was supposed to go into cardio, like him. I defied him because I wasn’t smart enough. Competitive enough.’ I gave him a wobbly smile he did not return.
‘So, if he knows of any of my accomplishments, it’s probably because he spoke to Dr. D’Souza. Not because I told him of them.’
Vikrant turned his face a little toward me. He still didn’t speak.
‘My father doesn’t respectme,Vikrant,’ I ended baldly. The truth showing up in a bleak little light that left my heart hollow. ‘So, how could he respect the man I married? One who got to where he was with nothing more than his own guts and determination?’ I sighed.
I gave a sad chuckle, all the more poignant because it compressed the quiet of the night. ‘You know, the weird thing is, I always envied your tight relationship with your folks. Even though it meant you picked them over me, I was glad your father wasn’t a narcissist with adulterous tendencies. That your mom ruled her home with an iron fist, instead of drowning herself in antidepressants and kitty parties.’
‘You at least had each other, always.’ I shrugged. ‘My parents screwed around and screwed each other over and only remembered me to parade me around at Diwali parties. I was nothing more than an accessory to them. Something inanimate.”
Now he turned to fully look at me.
‘So, my father isn’t proud ofme,and he never will be,’ I said softly, the words brutal for being God’s honest truth. ‘He just wants to put you down because you never cared to bow down to him.’
Vikrant was conflicted. His words a serious mutter. ‘You never bowed down to him either. You’ve accomplished every single fucking thing on your own. You did your MD while I couldn’t do mine,’ he told me gruffly.
‘You didn’t think that a year ago when you accused me of being a soulless monster who only wanted you for a quick fuck. You judged me as much as he did.’
***
He swallowed.
And I felt awful for bringing up the past like this. But it was time to do it.
‘These last few days with you…they’ve been amazing. So special.’ Tears rolled relentlessly down, so much so I turned to face the balcony and the cool breeze of the night instead of the man who wouldn’t love me like I badly wanted him to.
‘But they are not us.’ The night wind carried my words, my love away. ‘Who we are, in real life, are two people who can’t make a relationship work because we are just too different. Too opposite to each other.’ I gave him a soft, broken smile.
‘So, don’t let my father diminish you, Vikrant. What you’ve done here is nothing short of amazing. Living here, taking care of your parents, this hospital which iswork…you’ve done more in thirty years than most people would in their lifetimes, Vikrant.’ I wiped hot tears coming down my cheeks.
He looked bludgeoned. ‘Anika…’