Page 51 of No Other Love

‘You didn’t even say goodbye to me today. You didn’t even see me off.’ Her words were shaky, accusing.

I sighed. Rubbed a hand over my sweaty face, now that the helmet was off. ‘I can’t bear to see you go. Don’t you know that?’

‘You did it once before,’ she reminded me, tearily.

I shrugged, acutely uncomfortable now that it was my turn totalk. But knowing this was my very last shot at it. ‘I didn’t survive it. Not with my heart whole. But I don’t want to talk here. So, if you’d like to come with me, I’ll forever be grateful.’

‘Anika,’ I prompted her. ‘Say something.’ When she just regarded me with wet eyes.

For an answer, she shouldered her backpack and duffel and got on the bike behind me.

I handed her my helmet because her safety was more important than mine and I was not prepared to fuck with it. Then, I gripped her hands tight around my waist and roared off to the edge of town.

To Aronda Lake.

Twenty-Eight

Anika

The ride to Aronda Lake went through Market Street and the less posh neighborhoods of the small town. I remembered my earlier scornful words back at the hospital when I saw the scraggly lawns with the old and torn clothes flapping on the clotheslines. The half-finished houses with tin roofs and chimneys. The children playing with each other or sitting on smart phones in the baking hot sun.

The women, old and young, who stared at us both with wide eyes and gave shy smiles when Vikrant called out hellos to them in native Konkani.

I’ve seen the houses in Aronda. None of them are poor…How little I knew of this town and its way of life. How quickly I’d made assumptions about the place colored by my own bitterness and negative perception.

I was anunfeeling, privilegedidiot.

And Vikrant had said nothing in defense when I berated him in front of our friends and colleagues. I was a pathetic, pettyidiot.

Finally, we cleared the town and ended up at Aronda Lake, a beautiful and still expanse of water with the hot afternoon sun shimmering in its waves. It had a small bridge to go from one shore to the other, that looked like it was built during colonial times. And knowing Aronda’s history, it probably was.

The whole scene was very Bollywood meets small town, complete with the lush foliage growing at the edges with flowers of all kinds blooming in summer glory.

‘This is beautiful,’ I commented as Vikrant parked the bike on the bridge end and stacked my bags on the bike seat.

I immediately walked to the middle of the bridge and looked down at the sparkling waters of the lake. It was still now; the rains having stopped for the last day. But tomorrow, the shore would be full of families immersing their idols, songs blaring loudly from portable speakers and people dancing like demons.

But that was tomorrow.

Today, it was a placid lake with the sun shining on it as far as the eye could see. An Instagrammable location.

‘Not like you are,’ Vikrant said, as he joined me.

‘Flattery will get you nowhere, buddy.’ I leaned on my elbows, against the bridge railing. ‘I’m glad you showed me your favorite place in town, Vik. I would have hated to miss it.’

‘I like coming here the day before the immersion, visarjan, when it’s still clean and pure and somehow…mine, you know.’

I nodded, my hair whipping over my cheeks with the wind. The air smelled faintly of fish and fresh river water.

***

Vikrant

Daring greatly, I touched Anika’s hand and gripped her palm. She gave me a wary glance but didn’t tug it away. I took courage from it.

‘Your father is proud of you, Anika. I could hear it in his voice...all the stuff you’ve done, like it’s a credit to him. When it is all you. It’s always been you.’

Her hand went limp. I twined our fingers together and continued talking rapidly, ‘And the stupid, small truth is…Iwantedto be proud of everything you’ve done. Except, I was jealous too. You managed working and studying, all of it so well while I struggled. And that made me angry and bitter. So, when this opportunity came, to succeed at somethingdifferentwithout having to worry about the MD exam, I took it. I’m sorry, Anika. I really am.’