Page 67 of Burn for the Devil
My assumption, based on Ramone’sdedicationtoward me, told me he wouldn’t mind me saying anything, but I also knew he was very private in many ways. “Please keep it between the two of us but it was Ramone.”
“Ramone?” Her brows furrowed.
“The man who came in looking for demonology books.”
Toni’s eyes widened. “The gazillionaire?” Marshall had filled us in on the details of Fulgere Industries not that long ago. I nodded.
Pulling my mixing equipment forward, I sat at my bench, my head spinning. Toni hovered like she wanted to say something else before moving away.
After a minute she came back, hovering. She said, “That guy?”
Sighing, I replied, “Yes.”
“Okay.”
“What’s the problem?” As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get myself in gear to focus on my work. All I could think about was Ramone, the place he called the Fourth Realm, and the crazy visions I’d seen in the crystal ball.
“He’s a biter?” She moved away again.
Laughing, I called over my shoulder, “It would appear so.”
Toni was doing something by the front register; I could hear papers rustling and things moving. “Are you gonna cover the marks later?”
She meant for the benefit dinner. “No. Not on purpose, anyway.”
I heard Toni suck in a breath. “Woman.... I’m proud of you. I mean, that’s a little extreme but you go girl.” She giggled.
Joining her in a laugh, I said, “Yeah, I guess he has that effect on me.”
“I’ll say,” Toni said. “Pretty soon you’ll only being going out when you want to, like me. It's a slippery slope.”
I’d always admired Toni’s freedom to do whatever she wanted. Like myself, she didn’t need to work, but she did so anyway. Unlike myself, she only went to social events in our circle if she felt like it. We’d hit it off right away when we met and I’d been so happy when she decided to work with me, here at my shop. She understood the pressure I felt, having had it instilled in both of us at an early age that we must live up to certain standards and only mingle with those of similar social and financial status. Granted, because of my little sister, my situation was more extreme. She broke free, and I never did.
Until now.
The fall out wasn’t something I was certain I was prepared for, but I had to rip the figurative band-aid off. I had the insight to be more than aware that to most people, having a bruise visible to the public was no big deal. To my parents, it was completely unacceptable. It’d also remind them of my sister’s battered body after the accident and my mother couldn’t handle even the slightest reminder. Everything had to be perfect all the time. I’d always wanted to be free of the restraints, the desire had sat just below the surface, festering. I’d never given nearly as much thought as I should about changing my life. I’d been just content enough to go with the status quo—it was easy. I’d never put in the hard work to develop the way I should have and show my family a backbone. Not after my sister’s death. I’d allowed my parents’ fears and insecurities to infect me.
Remembering the man smoking inside at the cancer fundraiser, I giggled softly. Those men, Ramone and his associates, didn’t care what anyone thought. A small thrill ranthrough me. I needed to not care what anyone assumed of me, too.
“Toni?” I turned my head toward my friend, getting her attention. “I’m scared.”
Her face softened. “You’ll be okay. It's just a tiny, tiny step. Start with that, and then go farther.”
My hands trembled and I placed the glass vial I’d been holding, down. “I don’t want to disappoint my mom and dad.” An uncomfortable feeling trickled through me from opening myself up the way I was. Sharing vulnerable feelings wasn’t something I normally did.
“They’re your parents, they’ll love you no matter what, I’m sure. It’s just a bruise, it’s almost pathetic it’s your first act of rebellion but I get it. You can’t live your life for your mom and dad, though.”
Drumming my fingers on the desk surface, I sighed. “I know. My life’s just been a little weird lately and I guess it's made me take a deeper look at things. I’m old now. It feels too late to start over, in a way.”
Toni laughed. “You’re not old,” she giggled. “Not even close. If you are then I am too. Who ya callin’ old?”
I smiled at her. “I feel old but yes, okay, you’re right.” It was a refreshing feeling, talking to her about these deeper things. “Thank you.”
She grinned. “Of course.”
“This is dumb. I should just show up in jeans. I feel pathetic starting with a visible bruise.” I hung my head down, before setting my forehead on the edge of my table.
Toni came over and rubbed my back. “Well, knowing your parents, it's good to start with something that small. Plus, if you look closely, it's a sex bruise, so...” She giggled.