Page 26 of Guarded Hearts
She began looking through the postmarks. After going through hundreds of letters, she was quick to read the dates and put them into chronological order.
After she was finished sorting them into stacks, which she spread out on the desk in her study, she stood back. Tears blurred her vision, and she brought a fist to her lips.
God. So many letters. Endless words telling her about Carson’s life…about his feelings.
He’d begun writing as soon as he entered boot camp and ended two years later, give or take a few days.
For two years, the man held out hope for them.
And she’d shattered it without ever knowing.
Pain sliced her up, leaving behind a sting in her heart that she couldn’t shake as she picked up the very first letter.
Before she ever read a word, Carson’s voice jolted her into the present.
“Where did these come from?” He sounded like he was choking.
She whirled, letter fluttering in her hand.
Other than the corners of his eyes flattening in a wince, he stood as frozen as the mountain itself. Unmoving granite.
“Daddy took the letters you wrote to me and threw them away. Faye rescued them from the trash and saved them all this time.”
For a split second, she thought she detected a spark of anger in his steely gray eyes before he masked it.
She shook her head. “I had no idea my father would go to such lengths to keep me away from you.” She sliced her fingers through her hair. “I’m so angry with him…I don’t even know what to say. I need some time to think on it.”
He took a step toward the desk. Toward her.
“Nobody’s father likes me. Hell, even my own didn’t.”
Her throat worked to shove down the lump lodged there. “And mine managed to get everything he wanted by breaking my heart.”
Silence hung between them. Her admission held an edge of the pain that still lingered two decades later.
He leaned against the desk as if settling in for a conversation. “I remember that time your father wouldn’t let me take you to the county fair.”
At his words, the memory unlocked in her mind. “I was so upset.”
He nodded. “You cried.”
And he’d comforted her with soft words over the phone. “I remember your father kicked you out of the house. You slept in the yard for half the summer.”
He grunted. “My old man was a piece of work. I’d say he never should have reproduced, but then I wouldn’t be standing here.”
“You have your brothers and sister too. I can attest that it sucks being an only child.”
They fell into silence again, commiserating over their daddy issues.
Thing was, Layne didn’t dislike her father. He’d raised her singlehandedly after her mother chose a new life. He took her on all his business trips, touring Europe and giving her the best nannies and education.
“The problem with being an only child is there’s no escaping the spotlight. Or the hot seat. I couldn’t even blame the family dog for spilled glasses of milk or dirt tracked into the house because we didn’t have one of those either.”
He made a small noise of amusement. Then his gaze swept over the desk again, over all the letters neatly stacked in piles separated by months and years.
The rush of deep feelings hit her. To keep from throwing herself at Carson again, she gripped the edge of the desk, fingers whitening with the effort to hold on.
Did these feelings belong to the past or now? She couldn’t say.