Page 25 of The Demon's Queen
Not only am I trapped in this realm, but now I’m trapped in the castle. How long before Azazel gets high-handed and decides the only safe place for me is my bedroom? Orhisbedroom?
The fizzle of lust that rises in response to the thought only serves to piss me the fuck off. Yes, I came to him last night when I didn’t know where else to go. Yes, he gave me what I thought I needed. But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s manipulation. We don’t have equal power in this... whatever the fuck it is... if he can restrict my movements and cut me off even further from the outside world.
And then he summons me to dinner like an errant child.
I stop, narrowing my eyes. Fine. I’ll attend dinner. But I’m going to make him choke on my presence.
CHAPTER 12
AZAZEL
“Rusalka is here.”
I look up from the report that I’ve been staring blankly at for... a period of time. I’m not sure how long. “What?”
Ramanu drops into the chair across from my desk. “She brought Belladonna for a shopping trip. They both seem content, but there was no warning for this visit, so I’m not sure if you want to look into it or not.”
I do. Ramanu is keeping an eye on the humans who were sent with the other territory leaders, and while some of them are doing better than others, Belladonna is the one I’m most concerned about. She was raised in a toxic religious household and has internalized a number of falsehoods as a result. The god her people worship is nothing like the ones mine do; he’s controlling and cruel and determined to flog his followers into submission. I hate seeing the pain it causes, the scars. Her coming from that background means she can’t be entirely trusted to advocate for herself. That’s why I spoke with Rusalka ahead of the meeting to ensure Belladonna went back to their realm, instead of with one of the others. “I’ll invite them to stay for dinner.”
Ramanu winces. “Yeah, about that.”
“Why do you have that look on your face?”
Instead of answering directly, they frown. “What happened last night after the attack? Eve seemed shaky, but mostly okay. There was nothing in her emotions to indicate she’d end up in a spiral that resulted in a particularly nasty panic attack this morning.”
I go still. “A panic attack?”
“It’s a good thing the castle sent me to her,” Ramanu says slowly. I can actually feel their attention narrowing on me. “I don’t like the idea of her suffering through that alone.”
Alone. Suffering.
Because I was too damn cowardly to face her waking up, knowing she’d regret everything that happened between us. I have no illusions about the wrongs I’ve committed against her. I deserve her anger. But I care about Eve, and every time she comes to me for sex while holding so much anger, it hurts. It’s a hurt I’ll shoulder until the end of time, but I’m only mortal. Sometimes I need to retreat.
I just didn’t expect my retreat to cause Eve more pain. “What was wrong?”
“You didn’t answer my question.” Ramanu’s tone gains an edge. “What happened last night? This morning?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Wrong.” They shake their head. “You may embody the overprotective-bargainer persona, but every single one of us has those same instincts. I didn’t make the deal with Eve, butyoudecided to put her on that dais, which means she falls under my check-ins. So you will, in fact, answer my question, Azazel.”
I have to concentrate on holding their gaze. That, more than anything, prompts me to answer honestly. “She came to me last night and wanted sex as comfort. She was a little rattled fromthe violence. She slept in my bed afterward.” Each sentence is stilted.
“You bloody fool.” Ramanu shakes their head. “Damn it, Azazel. You left her alone, didn’t you? Fucked her sideways, cracked her right open emotionally, and then weren’t there to catch her when she woke up feeling vulnerable.”
I flinch. “I had work to do.” The excuse feels as flimsy as mist.
“You’re afraid.”
I hold up a hand. “Stop reading my emotions.”
Ramanu scoffs and slouches back into the chair, crossing one long leg over the other. “It’s literally how I see, asshole. If you don’t want to be perceived, learn how to shield better.”
I have many skills, but shielding from Ramanu’s sight isn’t one of them. That doesn’t mean it’s comfortable to hear those truths stated so baldly. “Is she okay, Ramanu?”
“Okayis a relative term.” They shrug. “She’s angry and overwhelmed and hurt. She wasn’t struggling to draw breath when I left her, but I would have preferred to stay with her longer. Unfortunately, Rusalka has poor timing.”
It’s tempting to rush to Eve and try to talk to her, but I’m still the leader of this territory, and there are a lot of people depending on me not fucking up relations with the rest of the realm. I’m on the best terms with Rusalka, and that needs to be honored. “I’ll speak with Eve at dinner.”