Page 34 of The Demon's Queen
He pauses and gives me a look. “You don’t have to say that.”
“I know.” I find myself squeezing his hand back. “But it’s the truth. You dance well.”
“So do you.”
This is awkward but not in a painful way. Almost like we’re just meeting, just feeling each other out. It’s strange, especially considering I know what he sounds like when he comes.
Azazel loosens his grip like he might drop my hand, but I give him another squeeze and lace my fingers through his. “They love you.”
“They don’t know me.” He shrugs. “Well, Alice does, but she’s family. It’s not the same.”
My heart twinges, but I’m too content for it to be more than a passing ache. “I wouldn’t know.”
He gives me a sharp look. “Family isn’t only blood. Pope knows you better than anyone.”
My body flushes hot and then cold. “I’m aware.” I swallow hard. I’ve been very pointedly not thinking about Pope too often, but they slip into my thoughts more and more as time goes on. “I miss them.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” He doesn’t look at me. “After I deal with Brosh, I’ll take you home. It never should have gotten this out of control. I never should have panicked. The thought of you being hurt...” Azazel gives himself a shake and drops my hand. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was only reacting.”
I could call him a liar, could ask him how long it took him to write up that contract and if that counted as solelyreacting. I don’t. It would hurt for the sake of hurting, and this moment feels as fragile as a soap bubble. “Azazel?”
“Yes?”
There are so many things I could say right now. The possibilities choke me. Today has shown me a different side of Azazel, but one that’s so intimately familiar, reminding me I’ve known him for years. In the back of my mind, I’ve spent this entire time trying to reconcile the man I thought I knew and the monster who tricked and then kidnapped me. Today gave meboth. They’re the same. Facets of a single gem, priceless beyond measure.
I inhale deeply and stop. Azazel takes a few more steps before he realizes I’m not keeping pace. He turns to face me. “Eve?”
I close the distance between us slowly. “I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive you.”
His expression goes tormented even as his gaze heats. “I know.”
“But I’m...” I take another deep breath and press my hands to his chest. This feels scarier than anything I’ve experienced thus far, and that includes the attack the other day. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop myself from caring.”
“Eve,” he breathes. “You don’t have to.”
But I’ve started and now I can’t stop. “I don’t know what it means for the future or for us or for anything, but I’m so damn tired of fighting. I just want...”
He waits. It seems like he barely breathes, like he’d stand right here and be content to listen to me falter my way through this for years.
“I just want you,” I finish in a whisper.
Finally—finally—Azazel moves. He catches my hips and pulls me flush with his body. “Stay with me tonight?”
There’s only one answer. There’s only ever been one answer. “Yes.”
I don’t know how we get back to the castle. It feels like a fever dream of kisses and stumbling steps and questing hands that never quite reach where we need them. Between one step and the next, the forest fades away to be replaced by stone walls and then a familiar scent.
The castle took us to my garden.
Azazel strokes a hand down my spine and looks around. “We could?—”
“I don’t want to wait any more.” I shove at his shirt. “Please, Azazel.”
He lifts his arms, but he has to lower the rest of his body so I can get the tunic over his head. I toss it to the ground and go for his pants. He catches my wrists. “Eve?—”
“If I don’t get your cock in my mouthright now, I’m going to lose it.”
He blinks. For a moment, I think he might argue, but he finally releases my wrists. “You don’t have to.”