Page 78 of Demon's Bluff
“But I do.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Good-bye, my love.”
“Wait.” I gave Newt a look to behave herself, but she was clearly content to watch my life fall apart in a cruddy little bar in the Hollows. “If you return to the boat, you will die twice.”
“I was twice dead the moment Piscary got out of jail,” he said. “Running will only make it worse. I have to go. You’re better without me. The world is better without me in it.” He took a steadying breath. “Thank you for this. Now I know I’m making the right decision.”
I caught his hand and stopped him. “That’s not true.”
He ran a thumb across my jawline. “My death makes you stronger. The person you are now is sitting between a demon and a witch.”
Which was sort of where I’d always been—sort of. “No.” I shook myhead, not believing this. He had been ready to run. With me. And now he was going back?
Newt sighed, and suddenly I understood. He’d been ready to run until he saw me, knew that Ivy had found love, that we both had. He thought his death made both of us stronger. So he went back to die. Because of me. I had been here. I. Had. Been. Here.
“Kisten.” I wouldn’t let go of his hand, and he reluctantly halted. “The world needs you. Ivy needs you. I need you. I need you to run Cincy.”
“Rachel, shut up!” Elyse exclaimed, then yelped when Newt slammed her fist on the table.
“I won’t warn you again,” the demon intoned. “Let this play.”
Kisten’s gaze softened as he ran a hand through my hair. “Go home. Be strong and beautiful in your choices. The world is safer with you free to act within it, and I am proud that I had a hand in helping you find your potential.”
“You dying does not make me better. Kisten, please,” I begged, and he pushed my hand from his wrist. “I know where you are going,” I said, frantic. “I’m going to stop Art. You don’t deserve to die for saying no to Piscary!”
He scuffed to a halt, uncaring that the nearest tables were listening. “Take care of her so she can take care of everyone else,” he said to Newt and Elyse, and Elyse made a sad huff.
“Good-bye, my love,” he whispered. “I will always love you.”
“Let him leave,” Newt said, and I froze, not because of her words but because my heart was breaking all over again.
“Kisten?” I called as he headed for the door, bag in hand, his head down when he threw a bill on the bar and walked out. “The world is not better without you. Kisten!”
But he was gone, and I didn’t know how to breathe anymore.
“I can’t…” I whispered as I turned to the table. “He was ready to run and I ruined it.”
Elyse shook her head. “They would have caught him. Killed both of you.”
“But he thinks he’s worthless!” I shouted, hating that the music hadstarted up again. Everyone was going back to their lives, oblivious or uncaring that mine had ended again.
“Not worthless.” Newt stared at nothing, focus lost behind her black glasses. “He deems that leaving helped make you. And now I know who you are. I wasn’t sure before.”
I looked at the door one last time, then sat down, sick to my stomach. This was intolerable. I couldn’t stop Kisten from dying, but I’d be damned if I let him go to his final rest thinking that he was worthless, that he was nothing more than a foil to make me stronger. I needed him. I had always needed him. The world needed him. And I was going to get his body and raise his ghost and tell him so. Every night if I had to.
My head came up, and I pulled my bag closer, ready to walk out the door. “We’re done here,” I said, and Newt smiled.
“Give me Elyse, and I will give you what you need to save your vampire.”
“What?” I stammered, shocked, and Elyse went still, suddenly afraid.
“He doesn’t have to die twice tonight,” Newt mocked. “Just once. He could take the long way home. What’s two years to the undead?”
“You need to shut up,” I said, feeling as if she’d socked me in the gut.
Newt sniffed, peering over her dark glasses at me. “Stand and do nothing as I take Elyse, and I will jump you to him. You could get him underground before the sun comes up. Who knows how long he will linger fighting Art’s virus.”
“You are a true demon,” I whispered, knowing I couldn’t. I saw him die. There was nothing to change.But what if he hadn’t been truly dead when I left him, a flicker of life still there…Had I left him to die when the sun rose?Heartache tore at me as I stifled a groan.
“You can’t…” Elyse whispered, her expression pinched.