Page 52 of Iron Will
I don’t feel comfortable sharing any of that with Katie, though. It would feel like I was betraying a confidence, somehow.
“He’s not…” I cast about for the right words. “He’s not like that. Come on, Katie, think! Rourke is the whole reason his club stood guard outside Paisley’s room to keep her safe. What kind of person would do that, if he didn’t have a heart?”
“Holy moly,” she breathes. “You’ve got it bad.” She starts to shake her head in disbelief, but then stops to stare at me, eyes wide. “Wait — is this why you roped me into your crazy plan?” Katie cries, then claps a hand over her face. She continues, her tone lower but clearly furious. “Isthiswhy you wanted me to help you with ‘the thing’?” she challenges me. “Because you wanted to impressRourke?”
“No! God!” I grab her arm and pull her into a side hallway. “You know why I did that! I wanted to help Paisley and Bethany! And it worked, didn’t it? Like a charm!”
“For you, maybe!” she retorts. “But guess who wants to see me in his office later, to ‘ask me some questions’ about how Mickey managed to corner me in the med closet?”
My eyes widen.
“Shit,” I hiss.Blake.
Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to me that he’d feel the need to investigate this. Not since Mickey got caught, and no drugs actually ended up getting stolen.
“Maybe it’s just a formality?” I ask, feeling sick.
Katie shakes her head, clearly worried. “I don’t know. But he made it clear he wanted to, and I quote, ‘get to the bottom of this.’” She puts air quotes around the phrase.
“What bottom?” I protest. “It’s over! It’s not your fault Mickey followed you and tried to rob the hospital?”
“Isn’t it?” Katie asks, shooting me a pointed look.
Oh, God.“No. It’s not,” I say softly. “It’s mine.”
“Laney, what if he isn’t satisfied by my answers?” Katie asks, her voice starting to rise again. “What if he decides he needs to make an example of me, for the rest of the hospital?”
“He wouldn’t fire you, Katie,” I insist. “You’re one of the best nurses Morningside has. He’d be a fool to lose you.”
“You know he does weird stuff all the time, Laney!” She grips my arm, her features strained like she’s trying not to panic. “He’s not rational when he feels like he’s got something to prove! I can’t lose my job!”
“I know,” I murmur. Katie’s a single mom to a little boy with special needs and a raft of health problems. She need the benefits, and the money. She has no safety net. My stomach churns at the possibility that she could be fired.
“I never should have gone along with your ridiculous plan,” Katie mutters, shaking her head. “It was a crazy thing to do, Laney! I should have known better. I should have realized your judgment was clouded because of that biker!”
I open my mouth to shoot back a retort, but then close it again.
Is Katie right that my judgment was clouded because this was Rourke’s idea? I didn’t think so before. But now, with Katie potentially in trouble, I honestly don’t know.
“Katie, listen!” I say, grabbing her hand. “I swear, this will not come down on you. If push comes to shove, tell Blake — I don’t know, tell him anything!” I think quickly. “Tell him I was the one who told Mickey he could get drugs by following you into the med closet! If he comes and asks me, I’ll admit it. I’ll fall on the sword.”
She stares at me. “You’d do that for me?”
“Absolutely.” I don’t even hesitate. “This is completely my fault. Throw me under the bus if you have to. Tell him you had your suspicions, and I admitted it when you confronted me. Make it sound like you were the one who figured it out. Make sure he realizes you’re the one bringing him the guilty party, okay? Then when he calls me in, I’ll admit everything. The worst you would get is a slap on the wrist.”
“But — but thenyou’dlose your job!” she cries. “And you might never be able to work at a hospital again.”
“I don’t care,” I say firmly. “I’d find another job. This is on me, Katie. Like you said, I talked you into this whole thing. If anyone gets punished for it, it should be me.”
I spend the next few minutes extracting a promise from Katie that she’ll tell Blake I’m the guilty one if she has to. It only partly alleviates how sick I feel that I got her involved in this in the first place.
But at this point, it’s all I can do.
Shaken and antsy after my conversation with Katie, I decide to go down to the coffee shop — because of course, pouring caffeine over my already rattled nerves is the mature response to my problem. I’m hoping a fancy coffee with lots of sugar and whipped cream will be just the comfort and distraction I need.
I decide to take the stairs down instead of the elevator, to at least get a little more exercise to offset the decadence. Pushing the fire door open on the first floor, I turn toward the main entrance, and head through it toward the wing with the coffee shop. I’m completely lost in my own thoughts as I order the most decadent coffee drink I can think of, and watch the barista put extra whipped cream on it. My teeth practically hurt just from thinking about all the sugar I’m going to consume, but dammit, I deserve this right now.
After paying for my mocha, I head back down the hallway, on autopilot except for the single sip of creamy goodness I allow myself before I’m back inside my office. The bustle of late afternoon in the front atrium is so familiar to me that I barely pay any attention to the figures milling back and forth.