Page 72 of Iron Will
“Long story,” I stall. “Let’s just say I reached the end of my rope.”
He looks like he wants to ask me for more, but thankfully he doesn’t press it just yet. “Okay,” he sighs. “So… what are you gonna do now?”
“I’m not sure,” I admit. “That question’s too hard right now. This burger, on the other hand, iseverything.” I take another bite and try not to moan out loud. “The fact is, I don’t know how many other social work jobs there are in the area.” A pang of remorse hits me in the chest. “Plus, not only have I just given up one of the only decent jobs around here for me, but I’ve also screwed Paisley and Bethany over in the balance.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, raising a brow.
“I mean, now that I’m no longer employed by the hospital, I no longer have access to the resources to help Bethany get back on her feet.”
Saying it out loud to Rourke like that, the full weight of what I’ve done hits me full in the stomach. Tears prick my eyes as I realize I still haven’t told Bethany any of this.
It’s not that I regret standing up to Blake. Really I don’t. But I’m afraid I am very much going to regret letting Bethany and Paisley down.
“You know,” Rourke murmurs, “I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Seems to me like Yoda and Bethany are a thing now. Or about to be. Which means Bethany’s under the protection of the club. And the club takes care of its own.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, swallowing.
“The club’s a family. When someone needs help, we come together.” He gives me a reassuring nod. “Bethany and Paisley are gonna be okay. You don’t need to take that burden on yourself.”
I set down the half-eaten burger on my plate, suddenly not feeling very hungry at all.
“I hope so,” I mumble. “God, Rourke, I hate to think I just made things worse for them.” I shake my head, feeling helpless. “It’s bad enough that I just threw away one of the only decent social work jobs in the area. I can’t bear to think that I hurt them, too. I’d like to think that something good came out of all of this.”
“Plenty of good came out of all this. Mickey’s out of the picture. Bethany’s free. Paisley’s healing up nicely.”
“True…” I trail off, still not able to shake the feeling I’ve let them down.
Rourke cocks his head at me. “What about you? You having second thoughts about quitting?”
I consider his words. “Other than leaving Bethany in the lurch?” I shrug, picking up a fry. “I guess I feel bad I stormed out instead of giving my two weeks, because of the patients I was working with. But besides that? No, not really. Though ask me again in a couple of months when I’m living on canned cat food.”
“Better than the kind that comes in a bag,” Rourke deadpans.
I almost snort chewed French fry out my nose.
“Nice snort,” he says again.
“Whatever. Don’t make me snort, and I won’t snort.”
“So.” He leans back in the booth and crosses his arms. “Let’s back up. I’m not really clear on what happened when Barber called you into his office. Was he gonna fire you, or something? Is that why you quit?”
I’ve been trying to avoid giving Rourke the real reason. I guess I’m just embarrassed. I don’t want to go down the whole rabbit hole of Blake being jealous, and why. Because that might lead into dangerous territory: Talking about whatever it is that’s going on between Rourke and me.
But he’s looking at me with an expressions that says he’s not going to let me change the subject again.
“Blake saw us this morning,” I murmur. “He saw me getting off your bike.”
“So?”
“So… I guess after he caught us, um, kissing in the coffee shop that day,” I continue, reddening, “he made the assumption we were together, and uh, he didn’t like it much.”
Rourke locks eyes with me. I can’t read his expression at all.
“He didn’t, huh? That any of his business?”
“No, obviously not,” I say quickly. “But… Blake asked me out a few times when I was first hired. And he’s beenpersistentabout it.” I grimace. “To be honest, it’s been sort of exhausting keeping him at arm’s length. And I guess his ego was pretty bruised at the thought that I turned him down, but would spend time with you.”
So that’s why you quit?” Rourke frowns. “Because he was mad you were with me?”