Page 59 of Iron Heart

But even as I stand here, my hands itching to pull Tori to me and enfold her in my arms, I can’t help but worry about her heart. Hearing that your friend just got killed would put anyone in a bad state, but for Tori, it’s more dangerous. I feel like I should stick around — make sure she’s all right.

But no. That’s a fuckin’ bullshit excuse for the real reason I want to stay.

The real reason is, I miss the hell out of the girl standing in front of me right now. It’s only been three days since our fight — since I last saw her — but it felt like fucking forever. Right now, standing here three feet away from her, I catch a whiff of her shampoo, and the scent makes me half-drunk with memories. The pads of my fingers can practically feel the softness of her skin as I slid her clothes off of her to drink her in. I can almost hear the breathless, needy way she moans when I take one of the soft buds of her nipples in my mouth, I ache to feel her arching against me, begging me wordlessly for more.

My traitorous cock hardens in my jeans as I think about how much I want her right now. All the blood in my body starts to surge with desire for this woman. Everything in me is telling me to take her inside. To comfort her the best way I know how.

But I fucking can’t. What she needs from me… I can’t give her. I can’t pull a woman I love into the life I live.

Shit.

The woman I love.

Good God, I’ve fallen in love with Tori.

Hell no. Thiscannothappen.

Tori is still crying quietly into her hands. I stand there, feet planted, fists in pockets. Refusing to take a single step closer. Finally, she sucks in a shuddering breath and looks up at me.

I will myself to be strong.

“Dante,” she chokes. “I… I don’t want to be alone right now. I know… I mean…”

Tori reddens. It’s clear she doesn’t want to ask me what she’s about to ask.

“Could you come in?” she whispers. “Just for a little while?”

Every cell in my body screams at me to follow her inside.

“I…” My voice breaks. I cough once, clearing my throat. “Sorry, no can do,” I continue. “I’ve got some club business to deal with. I gotta get going.”

Tori blinks, looking shocked. She stares into my eyes, helpless, incredulous, a riot of emotions playing out on her face. Finally, she lets out an amazed, heartbroken laugh.

“You’re really something, you know that?” she accuses, shaking her head. She sounds broken.

I did that. I did that to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I reply, indifferent.

“I know we had a fight, Dante.” Tori’s voice is an open wound. It breaks me to hear her like this. “I guess you think I should have told you about my heart earlier. But I thought you were angry because you actuallycaredabout hurting me.” She shakes her head again. “I thought — God, what anidiotI was — I though you actually cared a little bit aboutme. But that’s not what it was, was it?”

Tori waits a second, like she’s expecting me to respond. But I can’t say anything. I don’t trust myself. When she realizes I’m not going to answer her, she lets out a harsh laugh. I hear a new emotion in her voice. Anger, mixed in with the heartbreak.Good.

“Shit,” she spits at me, disgusted, hateful. “The only thing you cared about was yourself, wasn’t it? You just didn’t want to be held responsible if the poor pathetic sick girl had a heart attack or something.” She takes a step closer, closing the distance between us. Her voice rises. “That’s right, isn’t it? That’s all you fucking cared about!”

A piston of anger surges through me, but I work like hell to push it down. How the fuck can she think that’s the reason? How can she not know it scared the shit out of me to watch her struggle to breathe and fight to stay calm, while we both waited for her heart to stop racing? How can she not know the helplessness I felt? Wanting to help her, having to just sit there and wait — and hope — was a million times worse than anything that could ever happen to me.

But if she thinks I’m a selfish prick,says a voice in my head,she’ll be able to walk away more easily. She’s safer and better off hating you. Let her.

The thought stops me in my tracks.

Because I know it’s the truth.

So, instead of arguing with her — instead of telling her she’s fucking crazy if she thinks I’m not nuts about her — I just decide to let her think what she’s already decided.

“Sure,” I shrug.

Tori gapes at me in amazement. Clearly, she expected me to fight her more.