Page 52 of Deadly North
“Mack, please, stop the club from going to war. I can’t bear the thought that people are going to die because of me. It needs to be over. Now.”
She starts to tremble, then shiver uncontrollably. She’s got the adrenaline shakes. I reach for her, but she pulls away. “If you don’t stop this war, I’ll have to leave, Mack. I can’t be the reason for this. It will make me insane, knowing you and Connor are out there risking your lives because of me. I mean it.”
“Gigi…” I begin.
“NO! Stop it!” she shouts, putting her fists to the sizes of her head like she’s trying to drown the world out. She closes her eyes. “Please, Mack. Just… leave. I want to be alone right now.”
I want to argue with her. I want to lay down the law. But I don’t. Because coward that I am, I know it will just push her further away from me, and I can’t fucking stand the thought of it. Letting out a long breath, I stand and walk to the door, casting one last glance at her before I walk out and shut it behind me.
Out in the main room, Fury is waiting for me. “She okay?” he asks. “I heard yelling.”
“No. I don’t think so. She told me to get out, but I don’t think she really wanted me to.” I glance at Fury. “Fuck. Sorry. Probably the last thing you want to hear about is me and your little sister.”
Fury sighs. “Goddamnit. Come on outside. I need a smoke and some fresh air.”
I don’t point out that those two things are kind of mutually exclusive. I follow him out, accepting the cigarette that he offers me from his pack. He lights his own, then hands me his lighter. He takes a long drag, then exhales, smoke billowing out around him. “Okay. Talk.”
“About what?”
“The fuck you think, about what? About Gigi. You think she wants you to leave her alone, but she doesn’t want you to leave her alone. The fuck does that mean?”
“It means, she’s pushing me away. I don’t think she wants to. But when she tells me to leave, I feel like I don’t have a fuckin’ choice. I don’t want to make what happened to her worse for her. I think she thinks she wants to be alone, but I don’t think she really does.” I light my own cigarette, then snort at what a fuckin’ pussy I sound like. “Goddamn, I ain’t making any sense at all, am I?”
“Nope.” He grins. “But your heart’s in the right place.”
I take a drag off my own cigarette. “This is a supremely weird fuckin’ conversation.”
Fury chuckles. “You got that right.”
“Sorry. We can change the subject.”
“Naw. That’s okay. Look, brother, I just wanted to clear the air between us. I gotta admit, I wasn’t too happy to find out what was goin’ on with you and my sister. But that was when I thought you were just bangin’ her. You know? I didn’t know you were, like, serious about her.” He side-eyes me. “You are serious about her, right?”
I look down at the ground. “Yeah. Fuck, I sure am. Tell ya the truth, I think she’s it for me.”
He nods. “Yeah. That’s what I thought. The way you look at her, I think it reminds me of the way I look at Kat. You in love with her, then?”
“Yeah.”
“She know it?”
“I mean, I told her, so yeah.”
“She love you back?”
“She told me she does.”
He nods again. “Gigi wouldn’t say that if she didn’t.” He tosses his butt on the ground, crushing it under his boot. “So, okay. That’s where we are.” He claps me on the back. “You know Gigi, she’s prickly. She pushes people away when she really wants to pull ‘em close. Because she doesn’t trust that people feel the way they really feel. I think shrinks call that shit ‘abandonment issues.’” He puts air quotes around the words. “So when she’s hurtin’, she pushes people away because she can’t handle the thought of them hurtin’ her even more.”
“Huh.” That makes sense, actually. “So, what do I do?”
“You give her her space, but you make sure she sees that you’re still there. That you ain’t goin’ anywhere.” He pushes off the wall and turns to face me. “You do that long enough, she’ll figure out that you’re stickin’ around. She’ll stop bein’ afraid of the thing she wants, when she finally starts to figure out that she can actually have it.”
“Jesus,” I say, shaking my head. “Where’d you learn all this shit? You sound like a shrink yourself.”
“From bein’ married.” Fury shrugs. “Chicks spend more time thinking about psychology and shit than we do. Kat’s damn smart, too. Perceptive. She just kinda gets people. Gets what makes ‘em tick. She explained to me about Gigi a while ago. Made me see why she acts the way she does sometimes. And damned if she wasn’t a hundred percent right.”
“Well, shit. Remind me to send Kat a fuckin’ fruit basket if this whole thing works out.”