Page 6 of Captured Memories
4
Three days had passedsince Zane shut down the one woman he’d ever imagined a future with.
He leaned outside of La Rouge and lit his cigarette, the scrape of the brick wall feeling glorious against his sweaty back. Shame had flooded him something fierce the moment that pair of long legs strolled in through the door of Cupid’s Café. At sixteen she’d been a pretty girl, but in the interim, hell on earth, she’d bloomed into the sort of woman men sold their souls to bed. With those hips made for gripping and the sexy curve of her smile, he’d been struggling with his libido from the second she stood in front of him.
He let out a stream of smoke with his exhale. They kept the door propped open with a milk crate, and only the clank of dishes being cleaned remained since most of the staff had vacated the premises for the night. Steam filtered out along with the scent of lemon suds and roasted meat from the prime rib they’d been serving. Walking away from Olivia Morozov might have been the right thing to do, but she was the one woman who could test his resolve like a bottle of whisky.
Still, after the way he’d left things with her brother Lex, he couldn’t afford to rip open that scab. A return to those memories would put his sobriety through the wringer, and he wasn’t sure he’d survive the test. He sucked another drag from the cigarette, wishing he didn’t have to hit meetings so often to stay afloat. No way in hell would he drag her down with him, even if the thought of her pounded in his mind with the regularity of his heartbeat. Even though the memories of the time they shared had been one ray of sunshine through years of stale beer, fistfights, and regrets.
Footsteps came from the end of the alleyway, drawing his attention.
“We’re closed,” he said, tipping his ash on the ground before looking up.
“That’s what I figured by the big neon sign out front,” a wry, sarcastic voice sounded. The familiarity jolted through his veins like the first sip of bourbon, followed by the subtle scent of citrus from the perfume she always wore. The streetlamp’s lighting in this alley didn’t do her justice, but even now, the sight of her knocked the air from him.
Liv Morozov strolled his way in a sleeveless swing dress, the canary yellow color enhancing her creamy skin and the sleeve of ravens and orchids that coiled up her right arm. She wore the same Converse as the other day, reminding him of the hellion tomboy she’d been in high school while she tagged along on their adventures. Her cerulean hair was pinned back in curls he wanted to run his fingers through, and an impertinent smile rested on her red-as-sin lips.
Her pale blue eyes danced with mischief and the same stubborn determination that had them sneaking around her brother, even though Lex would have blown a gasket if he’d known. Zane would have given the girl the moon if he could, but one bad night had cost him everything, and he’d plunged down a hellish spiral ever since.
“Should have known you wouldn’t let things lie,” Zane muttered, running a hand through his tangled locks. Even though a flash of irritation crashed through that she’d found him after he tried to walk away, he fought to hide the smile threatening to surface. A stupid, selfish part of him didn’t want to let her go.
Liv quirked a brow. “You’re the dumbass who told me where you worked. Like I wouldn’t take the initiative?” She crossed her arms over her chest, the folds of her dress swirling around her knees as she came to a halt. “You can scowl at me all you want, Zane Parata, but I’m not leaving here without a second date or at least an explanation.”
Zane leaned against the brick wall, lifting his cigarette to his lips as he sucked in more nicotine. He eyed Liv, not sure how to respond. Other girls he could blow off with ease, but other girls hadn’t shown up for a random date wearing his jacket from a decade ago. Fuck, and the way she smelled, the burst of grapefruit and orange made him want to sink his teeth into her smooth skin and take a bite. He opened his mouth to respond, and despite the calm-cool exterior she projected, he caught a slight flinch to her features. The hesitation in her braced shoulders he’d bypassed on first glance.
Her business was her own, and yet the desire to know her like he once did, to understand what changed her in their years apart, rode him with a fervor he found hard to deny. Dismissing her, blowing her off now might destroy what little remained of himself.
He flicked his stub of a cigarette to the asphalt and lifted his hands in surrender. “Your stubbornness wins again, Livs. Name the time and place and I’m there.” Guilt warred with the giddiness in his chest—no way in hell should he be indulging her, but he spoke before he could help himself.
Her mouth quirked with an adorable smile, and the hesitance vanished. “Fine. Now,” she challenged, her blues flashing in a predatory anticipation. She leaned against the brick beside him, inches away, and fixed her stare on him. “And your place.”
Oh hell. Zane sent a silent prayer to whoever the fuck might be listening. If he spent time alone in his apartment with Liv, if the fireworks exploding between them at merely meeting were any indication, he knew where this was headed. He delivered a wide grin back, showing his teeth, and based on the way her teeth sank into her lower lip, he wasn’t the only one affected. Two could play the bravado game.
His apartment had turned into a kingdom of old mail and empty glasses, and he smelled like grease and sweat from the kitchen—great impression he’d make.
“You want to come over? Now?” he asked, disbelief causing his brows to rise.
Liv shrugged. “I don’t want to see some trussed up version of you, Z. You might think I’ll scare away easily, but we knew each other once, and I thought pretty well. If you’re crashing back into my life, I don’t want the mask you put on for this place or whatever girls you wine and dine—I want the real deal.”
A bitter smile graced his face. “You say that now, but I can promise you you’ll end up disappointed. I’m not the guy you knew once upon a time, and you can search hard and long but you’re not going to find him.”
“And I’m not the same girl either,” she challenged, fire melting the ice blue of her gaze. “So let’s stop with the bullshit. We’re both adults, we’re both single, and if we choose to have some fun, then that’s on us. No one’s asking you for your deep darks, but if we’re spending any kind of time together, I won’t tolerate fake.”
He shook his head, charmed by the raw way she spoke, at how her emotions bled onto the pavement without even trying. Liv breathed life in the way a husk like him had forgotten how to feel while the urges itching under his nails on a regular basis threatened to consume him. Rock bottom wasn’t a pretty place.
“If you’re so determined to see my shit-hole of a place, then follow me,” he said, tilting his head towards the street before taking the lead out of the alley. “I live up the street.”
As he strode down the sidewalk, she kept an easy pace with him despite her smaller size. She’d always speed-walked to keep up with Lex and him in the past, but the memories of his former best friend left jagged marks. Zane’s mind whirled with a thousand and one worries, and the urge to grab a bottle of anything at the Liquor Mart along the way created a constant pounding in the back of his skull. When any stressor reared its ugly head, the urge to drink returned in full force. His sponsor said with time and effort, control grew a little easier, the pounding less intense, but he understood he would be fighting this battle for the rest of his life.
Not the sort of struggle anyone else signed up for.
“You had to wait until I was done with work?” he asked, lifting his brow. “We couldn’t do this another time when I don’t smell like I walked through a spice rack?”
Liv gave him the side eye. “Consider it punishment for being such a stubborn ass.”
“My lord, woman,” he said, slipping his hands into his pockets. He pinched the chip in his right pocket, always his reminder. “You’re pure evil.”
Damn if her satisfied smirk didn’t make him hard. The swing of her hips as she walked alongside him and the too familiar scent of her caused him to rev on all cylinders. He’d grown used to fear from guys or coy flirting from women, not this brazen sass Liv didn’t hesitate to throw his way. She teased in a raw, unapologetic way, which most might mistake for confidence. He could sense the undercurrent behind the bold show, though—the desperate act of someone who had nothing to lose.