Page 26 of Bruise Me Tenderly

“I don’t know. No one’s come out to talk to me since they took her back. One minute she was fine, and then…” His voice cuts out.

“Okay.” I pull away from him and guide him back to the chair he stood up from. “I’m here. I’ll wait right here with you.”

He nods, his gaze on the sliding doors they must’ve taken McKenzie through. “I can’t lose her. She’s the only family I have left.”

“She’s going to be okay.” I take his hand in mine. “McKenzie’s tough like you. She’ll get through it.”

His leg bounces with nerves. “She was so pale. I’d never seen her look like that.”

“She was probably in shock. Umbilical cord prolapse doesn’t cause excessive bleeding.”

His jaw works, and he stares straight ahead at a humming vending machine. “They said there’s a three to seven percent mortality rate for the infants.”

I squeeze his hand a little tighter. “There is. But they’re in really good hands right now. Our labor and delivery team is one of the best on the west coast.”

He nods. “I know. I just…I wish I could be back there with her. It’s killing me to sit out here and do nothing.” He reaches up with his free hand to rub the back of his neck. “And I can’t stop thinking about being here after Ian’s place. Waiting for hours to get an update on how you were doing only to be told the same thing over and over. It was so awful. I don’t know how you can work in this place every day.”

“I guess I just don’t look at it the same way you do.” Talking about Ian after our argument is probably treading in dangerous territory, but he needs something else to focus on. Something else to talk about that isn’t McKenzie in the middle of an emergency C-section. So I keep talking. “This place is where they saved my life. It’s where I got a second chance after escaping Ian’s place. It’s where I started healing.”

Judson turns his head to look at me, his eyes bloodshot. “I don’t think I ever started healing.”

The raw vulnerability in his voice shatters my heart. I’d already suspected it, but to hear him confirm it is somehow worse.

“I’m sorry,” I say, even though it’s not adequate. I know from experience that there are no magic words that will suddenly make him feel better or forget about what we went through. It’s just something we have to come to terms with on our own.

Before Judson can say anything more, the double doors slide open, and a doctor appears. I don’t know his name, but I recognize him from passing in the hallways during my shifts.

Judson stands, and I go with him. His hand tightens almost to the point of pain around mine.

“Judson.” The doctor pulls his mask down to rest on his neck. “The surgery went well. Both mom and baby are going to be all right. You can go ahead and come back to see your sister if you’d like.”

Relief fills me, my whole body relaxing. As much as I was trying to assure Judson that everything would be okay, these things can be unpredictable.

Judson lets out a breath and releases my hand. When he turns to face me, I’m relieved to see that his face already has more color than it did moments ago.

“Thank you for staying with me,” he says softly.

“Of course.” Nothing would’ve stopped me from coming to him. “I’m gonna head home, but I’ll stop by tomorrow to check in. Go be with McKenzie.”

He nods, and I see the hesitation in his eyes. There’s so much between us that still needs to be talked about, but it’s not the moment for that.

Judson must come to the same conclusion because he leans forward and kisses my cheek. Then he turns and disappears through the double doors, leaving me alone.

Fifteen

Judson

I stay by McKenzie’s bed for a long time, holding her hand. She sleeps for a while, and I’m content to sit there and listen to her easy breathing.

My other hand stays on the bassinet they wheeled in right after me. My nephew is healthy but tiny. He’s wrapped tightly in a blanket, and a blue hat is on his head.

When McKenzie wakes, her free hand immediately moves to cover her belly, and her eyes widen. “Where’s my baby?”

“Right here.” I motion to the bassinet beside me. “He’s sleeping. They said to let him stay that way for a while. But if you want to hold him, I’ll get him for you.”

“I’ve waited almost ten months. Hell, yes, I want to hold him.”

“Okay, but I’m pretty sure you don’t want his first words to be curse words,” I tease, letting go of her so I can reach for the bassinet.