Page 21 of A Vow of Shadows

“Can you show me how to get outside? To the garden?” I pointed to the nearby window in case it couldn’t understand my language. In all my wandering, I’d found myself in the belly of the manor. While I was certain to find my way out again, this way would both expedite the process and confirm my suspicions about the shadow’s capabilities.

The shadows seemed to converse with each other silently. As they discussed, I thought about how they reacted to the light. It was possible any light was harmful to them.

“If you can’t, I understand,” I added, not wanting to cause them pain.

As though a dam had broken, the shadow beneath the table oozed out. The amorphous shape entered the light without any ill effects, though it appeared more transparent. It hovered in front of me about waist high as though giving me a chance to change my mind.

Tentatively, I reached out a hand, expecting to encounter some resistance. It passed right through the shadow, a slight chill the only sign that it was there. The shadow reciprocated the movement, reaching toward my face. This time, I was surprised to feel something cold and solid touch the tip of my nose. I jerked away and laughed, slightly uncomfortable, but also amazed at the marvelous creature.

“You weren’t hiding from the light at all, were you?” I asked. “You were hiding from me.”

The shadow bobbed, which I took for assent, and headed out the door. As I followed, the second shadow creature eased into position behind me. Maybe they weren’t spies. Maybe they were guards. The thought brought a smile to my face as we traveled through the dim corridors.

We reached an exit that was different than the one I had first entered through. The world beyond the glass-paned doors looked just as unwelcoming as it had when I’d arrived, but if there was food to be had, I was determined to find it.

Both shadows passed easily through the door. It took me some time to force it open, and I cringed at the squeal emitted by the rusty hinges.

The silence in The Between was remarkable, like the dead of winter when no creature dared to stir. Only here, not even the air moved.

I, however, was a walking clamor.

Brittle, brown grass crunched beneath my feet as I stepped outside, skirts swishing with every step. I sniffed and rolled my eyes at the noise.

For years, I’d perfected the art of being unnoticeable. I’d practiced standing in a crowded room and forcing the attention away from me—drawing in on myself until I became indistinguishable from the furniture around me. Fading away had been preferable to derision, hatred, and outright fear I’d seen reflected in the eyes of those around me—those I’d once considered friends.

I halted, struck immobile by the memory. Self-pity was a plague, one I refused to fall victim to. Squeezing my eyes shut, I willed away the images of my past and the accompanying resentment. I was here after all. I was changing my fate. And then I’d return to those people that scorned me. I’d let them see the woman that became of the girl they shunned, and then I’d leave forever. Somewhere in this vast world was a better life, a better place for me. If I could track down the Ferrier of Souls, I could find my paradise too.

Tilting my chin up to the sky, I opened my mouth and screamed. The cry that poured from me was eight years of pain, eight years of silence, eight years of pretending I was fine when all I wanted to do was rage. It crashed through the silence like a thunderclap.

My knees buckled, and I collapsed to the ground in a graceless heap, utterly spent.

I gasped for air, but breath was not all I’d expelled. With a single sound, I’d let go of everything I’d been. It was the farewellI hadn’t let myself make. Goodbye to my old life. Goodbye to the cursed destiny I refused to accept.

Now, I sat, an empty vessel ready to be filled, a blank page with endless possibilities.

The shadow guards, who had scattered at my sudden outburst, creeped back into my periphery.

I stared at my hands, one light and one shadowed. Part of me had hoped the shadows would disappear when I'd made my bargain. If I'd changed my fate, why was I still marked?

The sound of approaching footsteps startled me into motion. I scrambled to my feet, hiding my affected hand behind my back and angling my face away out of habit. The steps were unhurried, deliberate, and they were getting closer.

For a moment, I considered the time it would take to rush back into the manor, but then I remembered. I was through with hiding. With a deep breath in, I turned to fully face whoever neared. If it was the Ferrier, he'd already seen the worst of me. I'd assumed we were the only two in The Between, but maybe that assumption had been wrong.

A shiver coursed through me, but I held firm, even as a man dressed in black stepped around the corner of the stable.

Chapter 18

Katrin

The man in black zeroed in on me from across the way, eyes darting over my form. It was hard not to notice the way his gaze breezed past the shadows on my face, marking them, but not recoiling as most would.

I dared a step forward, taking note of the pitchfork propped over one shoulder. A stable hand? Foolish of me to assume there were no servants at the manor, but I hadn’t encountered any inside the house. He must have heard me scream and come to investigate. What did it say about this place that he hadn't hurried at the sound of apparent distress? Were screaming maidens a common occurrence?

“I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone else was here.” My voice was little more than a croak.

In one smooth motion, the man flipped his pitchfork off his shoulder and plunged it into the ground. He crossed one leg over the other and leaned onto the protruding handle. The look on his face suggested he had better things to do. "Miss Fil’Owen—" I startled at the sound of my name. "Aside from the four horses, yours and mine are the only souls here."

I stepped back, horror following swiftly on the heels of realization.